8,500-9,999 SparkPoints 8,818
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Down to just one chin at a little over 20lbs down. ^_^

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My heaviest weight used to be around 190. My last weigh-in at the doctor's office was 220. The most I have ever weighed. Eeek! According to height/weight charts a good weight for me would be somewhere between 145-160. My goal right now is just to knock off the first 20 but I would like to lose 50 over all. I lost 25 lbs using Spark People 5 years ago. I still really love this site.

Diabetes runs rampant in my family. I've always thought that it wouldn't be "if" but "when" I got diabetes. I think I have arrived and I'm terrified. My last round of blood work my fasting glucose was 176. It should be 100 or less. So while I don't have the official diagnoses yet I'm going to decide that I am diabetic and that I will have to adjust accordingly for the rest of my life. I hope it will be a long life without the many health complications that come with being diabetic.

My mother was a diabetic. She was diagnosed when she was about my current age. My brother and I watched her long, slow and painful decline over the next 30 years. She passed away March 2019, just a few months ago from when I am writing this. All of her health problems, ALL OF THEM, came from being overweight and not controlling her diabetes. I've always been afraid that I will be just like her.

It's interesting and disturbing what will motivate you and what will un-tether you from your own self-defeating behaviors. Somehow, losing her makes it easier to feel like I can do this. And watching her deteriorate makes me feel like I can go the rest of my life without sugar if it means I can have a GOOD rest of my life.

I've always been an over-eater. My folks split when I was nine and that's when I started eating...everything in sight. I quit smoking in 2008 and that definitely triggered a weight gain.

I never used to weigh myself. I would have my brother weigh me and write it down. Or if I had to get a physical I would tell whoever was weighing me that I didn't want to know the number. Total denial.

The following was my introduction on my Spark Page 5 years ago. I'm a little sad that I saw the writing on the wall back then, and I still failed to take complete control of my health. But I have to forgive myself. Progress is the only thing that matters:

This past January (2014) my mother was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. She's diabetic just like my grandmother. And just like my grandmother she's developed some major clogging in her arteries and is in about the same shape at 64 that killed my grandmother at 77. So I'm scared for her but it's also been a major wake-up call for me.

I haven't been diagnosed as diabetic and I hope I can keep it that way as long as possible. It runs rampant in my family and I have just the right body shape for it. I carry most of my extra weight in my gut. But vascular disease is a danger for me as well. My family gets plaque build-up in their arteries even if they're healthy. So change is slow for me but necessary.

I'm just ready to be in control. I've been at this for about a year and a half now (minus a 6 month break where I gained back 6-7 pounds) but it's been a very positive experience. I've always been somewhat manic about weight-loss before. I think I was afraid to actually lose weight so I would freak myself out and set myself up to fail. Crazy, no? But probably a typical problem.

So far I've been very calm and zen about it which feels different from every other time I've attempted to lose weight. It takes constant research on nutrition and weight loss and I'm always re-calibrating my approach, but it's worth it.

Member Since: 1/7/2013

Fitness Minutes: 2,686

My Goals:
Drink more water, eat more fruits, vegetables and protein. Eat less carbs, sugar, bad fat. Man I really like carbs and fat. So far so good though.

A lot of people in my family are diabetic and I have just the right body type to inherit diabetes. So the belly fat has to be greatly reduced. And the diet has to stay healthy and controled.

My Program:
Tracking calories with the food tracker on Sparkpeople. That is such an amazing tool! I started tracking before I started really eating right and it was kind of mind boggling to see how much I was eating. "I ate 4,000 calories today? Oh no wonder I've put on so much weight!"

Anything to move my body. I have a job that keeps me sitting a lot so it's challenging to get more activity in. I love the 10 minute videos on here. I can actually squeeze them in when I'm in my office some days.

I'd like to get back to where I can go 3-3.5 mph on the treadmill. I'm super out of shape but getting better all the time.

Staying positive! Staying realistic! Staying dedicated to my health!

Personal Information:
Diabetic, 42, not convinced of either thing.

Other Information:

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 current weight: 185.0 
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