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No the title isn't for the epic song from the 90's but as many of you here could probably guess. One more try at losing this weight and keeping it off.
I've been on the spark wheel before and am back starting fresh and new with even more weight to lose.. sad face I was always a heavy kid, I weighed 110 pounds in the second grade and though it kind of stabilized a for a few years I repeated the ballooning process from then till now. Losing and gaining massive amounts of weight, sometimes in a healthy way sometimes in a less healthy way but it seems always with the same result. So I've come to the conclusion.. Guess what? It's not the food... it's also not that I can be incredibly lazy. I can do the work and eat right but something grabs a hold of me and I spiral out of control till we get to where I am now. Basically with one foot in the grave barely able to care for myself much less anyone else. I got my gallbladder removed and things got worse quickly. I need a different sort of surgery but was told I needed to lose 100 or more pounds, this amount has now increased as I became depressed and stopped caring. I also then asked for gastric bypass, it was humiliating for me to admit I can't do this alone and they told me no, that with out figuring out what drives me to this and having no support it would end the same. So I'm here for a little reflection, writing probably just so I can see it and be accountable even if no one else reads it. And hoping for some inspiration as I struggle with the rest of you. Good Luck... hoping to meet some happy losers soon! laughs

Member Since: 8/6/2012

Fitness Minutes: 111

My Goals:
~To eat healthy, including eating things I hate
~To recover my former fitness level
~To work through my emo food issues
~Lastly.. to be forgiving but not give up. I have many changes to make and some will be sure to go down hill before up.

My Program:
Well for now I am still looking at different approaches, in the past I did all fast and hard and burned out a year or so in. For now I am adding more fiber to my diet. Eating a variety of veggies and fruits that I would normally turn my nose up, trying to get a pallet for them so I can later form a more structured plan of attack. My body currently hates me so walking just a little is just plain painful, so fitness will be a little harder but I am starting by doing some floor exercises and a little extra walking and standing to start... small hurdles.. sighs

Personal Information:
I'm from Indiana, married with a child and stay at home but am looking in to getting a WFHJ soon. So again, many changes.

Other Information:
“War is over ... If you want it.”
― John Lennon

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 Pounds lost: 15.0