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Me hmmm...

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I laugh in the face of diets and exercise bwahahaha!

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The Spark

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I am 34 years old and have been a binge eater with emotional issues as far back as I can remember, which is fairly early childhood. I used to be quite good at losing weight, 15 to 25kg at a time, but I have gained it all back each time plus more! And here I am at my heaviest ever :-p

My dad died of cancer in November 2011. We were very close, and since he died I have really been struggling to want to seriously get my life on track.

I work for the family business (a desk job), from home, and I don't have a driver's licence yet, so I don't get out much, and since I have gained so much weight, and started suffering from GERD (in the form of a persistent, choking cough which has lasted about 7 months), I get out even less. I do whatever I can online. I have been withdrawing further and further, scared to even talk to anyone on the phone lest I start a coughing fit.

Thankfully I have a very loving and supportive family, but I feel unable to interact with them fully in my present state. I want to lose weight and get fit so as not to become a burden to them. I would also dearly love to visit my brother, nephew and niece in the UK, but want to get fit first so that I can enjoy our time together.

I feel that I have lost my spark, lost interest in almost everything that used to interest me, and that I have very little meaningful to add to any conversation.

And so The Spark almost jumped into my arms on an outing to a local book shop. It sat on my side table at first, along with piles of other self help books, promising to change my life for the better, forever, if I could just muster the energy or will power to pick it up.

Well, I picked up The Spark and started reading it a couple of days ago, and I can't put it down (haven't been able to concentrate on a book for ages), and here I am sharing my story and starting to count calories, and hoping that I can unblock my stagnant energy, ignite the spark within and finally lead the life that I am meant to lead, with joy and passion.

I live in South Africa, next door to my in-laws, with my long-time fiance, 2 of my 3 step-kids (aged 15, 17 and 19), 3 pooches and 2 birds. Every other weekend we are blessed to have my mom join our circus (she has a live-in job), and I try to visit my step-mom once a month. I love all my family to bits.

Member Since: 2/10/2013

Fitness Minutes: 43

My Goals:
I want to lose 63kg/147lb

My Program:
I have only just joined Spark People, I have bought a pedometer, and I am starting to take stock of what I eat every day...

Personal Information:
I live in South Africa

Other Information:
I love my family, pets, books, movies, belly dancing, Bollywood, art and all forms of creativity, nature...

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    Hi Exsparktacion,
    I just wanted to welcome you to our Sparkteam. I hope you are having a beautiful day. i am glad you found some inspiration in the book and I hope this place will give you the support you need to help make your dreams of better health, life and family come true. I still deal with chronic illness from abusing my body over 33 yrs. but each day i have been binge/purge free is a wonderful new chance at life with my family. i am sorry to read about your father. I am sure you will find plenty of people that are here during the day and night to chat with. emoticon

    Let me know if you have any questions emoticon
    or I can help you with anything. emoticon

    Bella emoticon
    2799 days ago