Yikes! I'm scary.

I like these bicep shots for shock value, when I'm not flexing my arms look pretty normal

Haircut I would get if I wasn't a big chicken


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Hi Sparkpeople, I am mentally in it to win it again and I am soooooooo glad to be back. I had entered a Body For Life Tracker Team challenge in 2008 and my goal was to be in the BEST shape of my life by the time I reached 50, and I DID IT! My team won a cash prize which was pretty cool, but the best part was how great I felt. I was in control of my eating and working out like a fiend, and it made everything else in my life better. I found myself wanting to clean my house more, clean out the clutter, do things to help other people, be a better wife, I could go on and on...I just felt so positive. Unfortunately I took it to the extreme and became somewhat obsessed and got too thin, at least by what everyone else was saying, I of course thought I looked great . I also came to a huge realization. It was a big let down right after the challenge was over. It's not like anyone really cared, it was just another day and it was over. All that work, all that mental energy to reach that goal, and then what? I knew I couldn't go on forever that way and started to eat like a normal person and here I am now back exactly where I started. I think my body wants to be around 165 and I want to be 145. I have been trying to get my brain into that same inner resolve that I had back then for over 2 years now, and last week it happened. My husband got a box of multigrain Cheerios (which I would never eat because they're CARBS oh no!! and processed carbs no less) and on the box was an access code for a free diet plan. I had to check it out because I think I'M the diet guru and know it all. It looked like normal stuff, no two word diets like "low fat" "low carb" "no sugar" etc. but what stuck me was the structure. Just regular meals with no snacking all day whereas I was eating all day long whenever I felt like it, just an apple or a bite of cottage cheese or a little plain yogurt, an orange....good stuff, just constant eating and thiking about food. Trying to build muscle I was going by the bodybuilders idea of eating small meals with protein every 2-3 hours but like I said, I thought about food all day long. So I decided to try something completely different for me which was to eat a real breakfast, a real lunch,and a real dinner including BREAD!!!, ahhhhh carbs!!!! and that's it. Nothing in between, sit down with a plate for every meal instead of eating in the car, or while standing at work etc.
This probably sounds crazy to normal people, but it's a major triumph if you're like me when you're so controlled by thoughts of food, diet, exercise constantly. I feel free, it feels good. If any of this hits home to you, please add me as a friend, let's talk and support each other!!!! Thanks all - Belle

Member Since: 1/18/2010

Fitness Minutes: 48,929

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Read More About DUMBBELLE - Profile Information moved here. (Updated June 2)

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  • v 62NVON
    Thanks for the comment on my photo! I love, love, LOVE the FIRM. I got a new DVD this week: Advanced Cardio Blast from the BSS3 add ons. I can't wait to try it!
    3024 days ago
    emoticon You have made a great choice!!!

    emoticon to IRON MAIDENS!!!! emoticon
    3028 days ago
    Thanks for stopping by my spark page. You are really doing GREAT on your fitness.
    I, too, am excited to discover what my body is capable of.
    Keep up the great work!
    3030 days ago
  • v MAGGIE1779
    Hi! Thanks for the comment - I am so impressed that you went a whole month without sugar!! That is a definite inspiration for me! :D
    3032 days ago
    Hey! thanks for leaving a message on my Sparkpage!
    I love your pics. I know under all this flab I have muscles similar to that - so you're an inspiration!

    LOVE Cory! I need to find some pictures of my past "idols" and post them as reminders. I'm fighting the menopause demon in addition to my huge appetite, but I know change is imminent - and absolutely necessary for me to be happy and healthy. Strong women are beautiful inside and out! emoticon

    3034 days ago
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