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Three months ago I started this journey again for the umpteenth time. So many times before I had started hard and strong out of the gate only to stumble and fall on my face. Bound and determined to make this happen I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and got back on that horse (figuratively speaking, of course). And every day since then I have worried about losing momentum, slipping up, and losing myself yet again. For three months I have stared at this page wondering what to say; thinking I should update it to show my progress but not wanting to do so in the event that I fail myself... again.

Today I have found my words.

I took myself back to when I first joined SparkPeople in January 2009. I weighed 273.3 pounds. I was outraged and fed up with myself and knew I needed to make a change. Looking back now I know I wasn't truly ready. I knew that changed needed to happen and that I wanted the results, but I hadn't prepared myself inside for what it would take to make that change a reality.

For two years my weight yo-yo'd dropping as low as the 250s until finally settling at 292 pounds. I was astounded at the amount of weight I had allowed myself to gain... and disgusted. Feeling constantly sluggish and tired, out of breath carrying a laundry basket upstairs, and knowing that I was arm's length from topping 300 pounds something inside me... Sparked!

Fighting the urge to jump back in feet first and plan, plan, plan myself to death, I actually stepped back, took a deep breath and eased myself into it. I set broad goals that required change but were easily attainable. I worked on doing one or two things as well as I could instead of micromanaging everything at once. As I saw progress I tweaked and fine-tuned those goals, narrowing down on key problem areas one at a time.

The result: three months of hard work turned to progress and (currently) over 23 pounds lost!

Every day I'm learning something new and bettering myself for eternity. In a way I guess you could say I'm gaining by losing. I'm gaining respect for myself, the knowledge to live better, and years of life to spend with my children.

And I'm losing that fat girl I never really wanted around in the first place...


I sincerely welcome all support, encouragement, and motivation I can get! I acknowledge that I need your support and willingly receive whatever you have to offer... especially if you are here to chew my butt out! :)

If you have any questions, want to befriend me, or just chat... feel free to SparkMail me.

"Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality." ~ Ralph Marston

"You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there." ~ Unknown

Member Since: 1/22/2009

Fitness Minutes: 5,341

My Goals:
* Create and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
* Be a good example for my children.

My Program:
* Make better food choices.
* Exercise regularly.

Personal Information:

Other Information:
Mini Goal #1: Lose 20 pounds in 3 months.
SW: 290 lbs. (4/21/2011)
GW: 270 lbs (7/21/2011)
**Goal met one week early!** (7/14/2011)

Mini Goal #2: Lose 25 pounds in 4 months.
SW: 270 lbs. (7/14/2011)
GW: 245 lbs. (11/14/2011)

Read More About DS12800 - Profile Information moved here. (Updated August 12)

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My Ticker:
 current weight: 248.2 
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