DNJOYS
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Update 6/26/20: For the past two and half years, I've been focused on spiritual and mental health issues. I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life, except for one thing. My physical health has continued a slow but steady decline until it's reached the point it's scaring me. Things I used to take for granted, like taking showers, getting dressed and fixing meals are now the primary accomplishments of my day and getting more difficult. If I can't turn this around soon, I will lose my independence. Continual pain and fatigue have taken a huge toll and my weight isn't helping. I'm coming back to the 5% Challenge to work on exercise more than weight. To focus on moving, even if only for seconds multiple times a day. The weight isn't going to come off until I can move. And I need to move and have more stamina to keep the dishes done up and be able to prepare healthier meals.

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Update 9/30/18: The last 10 months have been focused on non-weight issues and finding emotional healing from my past. I feel like I am a butterfly emerging from a cocoon and 2019 will be my year to begin testing my wings and learning to fly. Unfortunately, while I've been away from home and dealing with emotional issues, I've gained 20 pounds! (That's only 2 pounds a month - a small amount given the circumstances, but it sure does add up!!!)

This concentrated season is nearing a close and it's time to try to find balance and again make my physical health a priority.

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Update: 2018 is going to be MY year, not just for weight loss but emotionally, spiritually and mentally as well. I was a member of the walking dead, but now I'm fighting to find life and begin to really live!

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Most of my life has been one struggle or another of various kinds. If struggle makes us stronger, then I truly am stronger than I think or feel. I am weak and weary from the past 6 years but I finally see a crack in the cocoon wall and am itching to break free and learn to fly. The past 6 years have been about survival and hanging in there. Now the real struggle begins. Gaining strength and stamina to stop this downward spiral and begin to live again.

I am at my highest weight ever and have lost all progress I worked so hard for last year. I'm tired of losses. It's time to break out of the cocoon, no matter how long it takes. So during this Fall 5% Challenge, I'll be grabbing at the edge of that crack in the wall and working hard to expand the opening, gaining the stamina I need to break free and really fly!

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September 2017 Addendum:

While I want a fresh start, there are those who know me that need an update and those who don't who might want to know where I'm coming from. There are more details in my blog dated May 8, 2011 (History: 2006-2017)

It is now mid-September and more than 8 months since I went off Adderall. Med detox is finally winding down and the lines of "this is med detox" and "this is fibro or other health issues" is blurring so I'm declaring it over, although there will still hopefully be a bit more improvement. I have literally lost 6 years of my life along with my health, stamina, work, hobbies and social life - all because of meds that were supposed to be helping me, instead doing the opposite. Health-wise I am in the worst condition of my life with one foot in the door of assisted living. I am weary of dealing with and talking about it. I long for it to be over and to be able to begin to regain some of what I've lost. I believe that time has come. Moving on!!!


Member Since: 3/19/2007

My Goals:
Increase stamina and ability to exercise.
Stop slow weight gain and turnaround so losing instead.


My Program:
Increase movement even if only seconds at a time, multiple times a day.
Be aware of when and how often I'm eating (I tend to graze).
Reduce portion sizes of what I do eat.



Personal Information:
High Weight = 320 (Aug, 2020)
Previous high = 308 (2018)

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1st Milestone = 299

2nd Milestone = 259
(pre med detox weight January 2017)

3rd Milestone = 239
(what I weighed when I de-railed in 2008 and again in 2010)

4th Milestone = 199 Onderland and uncharted territory!

Final Milestone = 169 - 149 ? Final Goal Weight.


Other Information:
Enjoy slow paced computer games including match 3 and jigsaw puzzles, watching flowers bloom and plants grow and flagging during worship. LOVE cats.




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Comments
  • v DIANEDOESSMILES
    HI Dee!!! Hey so GOOD to see you!!! I just read your page. I remember being at that point, and like you are, I reached deep down inside of myself. I too didn't want to lose my independence, for me, I had the paperwork done, an appointment to go into assistance living. I was in my early 50's. I just couldn't cope.

    Instead I got help. If your insurance can help pay for it (I had some out of pocket it was so WORTH it, but it goes by income) with shopping, cleaning and at that point personal care. The personal care was mostly on my own, but with a little help. This helped me to put what tiny bit of energy towards starting to get better.

    When I moved to CO I found a back Dr who first taught me how important it was to strengthen my core muscles. As they strengthened I started to be able to move around more. So I really love your plan above. You are doing that!! As you feel better the food stuff,, you'll get under control. But yes your plan makes 100% sense.

    TY TY TY For the comment on my blog!! I'm currently taking care of my GGS 4 days a week at 9 1/2 hours a day. He's 3 LOLOL right now he's ripping apart a newspaper (It's fine by me) and having the TIME OF HIS LIFE. We can learn from kids. Enjoy the tiniest of things with such JOY. Being an "adult" doesn't mean we can't do the silliest things.
    18 days ago
  • v ALLEYCATPA
    Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you joined the Casual Travelers!
    75 days ago
  • v DESKJOCKEY925
    Hey Dee!
    The Summer Challenge is open this week ... in case you were thinking of joining ...
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    110 days ago
  • v 3VEGGIES
    Have a wonderful day, my friend! emoticon emoticon
    337 days ago
  • v DIANEDOESSMILES
    emoticon Dee!! Hon you are on the MOTIVATION SPARK PAGE!!

    www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_home.asp

    Under the COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT!!

    GOOOOOO DEE!! How are you? oh my blog says what's been happening. Despite it all, I'm Okay but it makes me shake my head!!
    391 days ago
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