CHOCOHOLICLADY

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Just call me Choco or Tams...everybody does! 45 yrs old. Happily married for over 20 years. Have 17 1/2 year old son. My father and younger brother live with us now. (They moved to Idaho after my mom passed away a few years ago -- and then moved in with us to help out after I became disabled in January 2009).

My husband, son, and I came to Idaho about 10 years or so ago when I was recruited for a better paying job and they even payed our moving expenses. We've been here ever since and have no plans of ever returning to Texas.

There are four definite seasons here (usually), no fire ants, no killer bees, haven't even seen a single roach! There is practically no traffic or crime to speak of in comparison to Texas. And you can drive 20 minutes in any direction to find the scenery has changed! Almost no humidity to speak of. When you get into a shaded area there is a significantly noticeable drop in temperature. Too hot today? Just head up into the mountains! We've done that and thrown snowballs at each other in the middle of July! And there is wildllife to be found at almost every turn. In short, we're all pretty much sold on the idea of remaining here!

As I stated earlier I became disabled in January 2009. I went from being a cheerful, hyperactive over-achiever to suddenly being slapped down.

For the first couple of weeks it felt like I had the flu -- achy all over, fever, nauseated, severe abdominal and joint pains. Even though the fever finally went away after two rounds of antibiotics the rest remained and became more severe. Started having low back and sciatic pain, weakness in my legs, balance issues, and sometimes my right leg just disappears, goes away, buckles out from under me. Bladder control was also lost.

I was in and out of the hospital and had so many tests and procedures but none of it really explained what was wrong. Eventually I reached point where I had overwhelming pain everywhere, couldn't sleep (and even when I did sleep I didn't feel rested), couldn't think straight, kept forgetting important things and details, and having lots of falls due to the balance issues and disappearing leg.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS) in Nov. 2009 and began receiving medications which gave only a tiny bit of relief. I have to use a walker because of the balance problem -- and because of all the pain which increases with movement and I move quite slowly. A turtle could definitely move faster than me! And possibly a snail if motivated.

With FMS eventually comes IBS, insomnia, very intense chronic fatigue to go with the unrelenting pain, and I eventually became so depressed by it all that I even had to spend some time in therapy, but I'm past and done with all
that depression stuff. Don't get sad, get mad works for me. Keeps me motivated to keep pushing myself...and pushing the doctors to find answers as to why this is happening. There is something more than just the fibromyalgia at work here and I aim to find out what it is!

Due to the pain I am very intolerant of activity. Wind, cool temperatures, rain and so on make it even worse. So I've pretty much lived in my recliner for the winter months, but once winter has past I'll be back to pushing my limits again.

Since I move very slowly due to the unrelenting pain, I have TRIED to work up to at least making some distance. The best I've managed so far is to go only four houses up the front walkway and back during the warmer seasons.

It leaves me feeling exhausted and shaky in addition to increasing the pain and muscles spasms. It is usually a minimum of 3 days before I recover enough to be able to try it again. But, I keep trying.

The doctor has told me that I needed to try really hard to find it within myself to "work through the pain and fatigue" -- if and when it is at all possible -- and for as long as I can tolerate it --without over-doing it to the point that it causes me to be bed ridden for a week or more. To find a happy medium even if it meant several shorter walks but find a way to get in 20 to 30 minutes minimum 3 or more times a week of walking and in addition to that some gentle stretching once or twice daily. I haven't gotten anywhere close to that! But I keep doing what I can and pushing forward.

I've also tried chiropractic adjustments, therapuetic massage, acupuncture, and detoxifying ionic footbaths. And of course the medications, and medications to fight the side effects of the medications, and medications to fight the side effects caused by the combinations of medications, and..... well....you get the picture. I'm pretty much done with THAT whole med scenario! After an illness kept me from keeping down meds I had a grand mal seizure from the sudden lack of gabapentin. I decided the very little pain relief gained wasn't worth that sort of risk, the weight gain, or being zombie-fied!
Probably made for the perfect, passive, cooperative little patient but....Sorry docs! You can kiss that bye-bye! I'm back and I demand answers...not patches or quick fixes! I refuse to give to up! And don't you dare either!

May 2012 UPDATE: Well, I always knew there was more to it than just the FMS! FMS didn't explain the balance issues and falls. The last few months I did some physical therapy and saw some more specialists. They found out I had severe pelvic instability as a result of past injuries (fall off a cliff, hit by drunk driver, and others). Basically the pelvic bone ligaments are damaged and can no longer keep the bones making up the pelvic girdle stable. This results in SI joint pain, a sudden temporary shortening of either leg, sciatica, throws off balance, and causes spinal misalignment and muscle spasms as other muscles in the body try to compensate, and can even cause incontinence issues. I now wear a sacroilliac belt and between that the PT I am now able to get about the house and walk short distances without the walker.

They gave me some surgical and other options but after extensive research I've decided to remain with more conservative measures for as long as possible because the outcomes aren't always favorable and can leave you in even worse shape, tend to be temporary, and the success rates vary greatly from zero up to only 45 to 83% at the very best. I also have arthritis, spinal stenosis, a bulging T10-11 disc, etc., etc. and I cannot lift more
than 5 pounds or do certain exercises/moves without causing more pain and problems and risking injury. I can, however, spend 10 minutes at a time on certain kind of recumbant bike and go just fast enough to make a mile in that time frame! This is very exciting for me because it is the ONLY exercise I can do for cardio! But that's something!!! :D













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Comments
  • v OUTDOORSWOMAN
    emoticon WHEW !!

    ......oooO................ I walked all the way over here just
    .....(....)................. to give you this (((((HUG)))))
    ......)../....Oooo...... and a bit of encouragement.
    .....(_/.....(....).......
    ................\..)........ Keep on keepin' on!
    .................\_)....... One small change at a time!!

    ......oooO................
    .....(....).................
    ......)../....Oooo......
    .....(_/.....(....)
    ................\..)........
    .................\_).......
    emoticon
    3756 days ago
  • v BKWHITE3
    emoticon for adding me as a friend.
    3756 days ago
  • v DEE107
    Hello and welcome to Losing Weight and Disable and good luck with your goals.

    Dee .
    Leader SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
    Leader Sweet Temptation -
    Leader Losing Weight and Disabled
    -Leader Menopause and losing
    Leader Earth Movers and Shakers
    Leader Grandpas and Grandmas Are Special
    Leader WALK AWAY the POUNDS for ABS.
    Leader Sensational 60's and Beyond
    Leader 40s and up ..Sculpting a New
    Leader Sleep Apena
    Leader Calling all Christian Women


    3758 days ago
  • v CHOCOHOLICLADY
    Yes, that's all very true.

    I guess I should explain my meaning behind His "just letting you know you're still alive".

    It was what kept me going after a seriously nasty wreck in which I was hit by a drunk driver. I was very lucky to even be alive -- BUT there were times when I really wondered if that was true. When doubt crept in I'd tell myself that and it was like an inside joke between me and Him in a way. It cheered me up and gave me the strength needed to keep working when what I really wanted to do was slap my physical "terrorist" (therapist) upside the head and go home and cry.

    I actually liked my physical therapist very much -- and we did alot of playful bantering (joking) back and forth and one day the therapist says "You know what we really are dontcha? Physical terrorists!" So that it is what I started calling my physical therapist from that day forward. Of course that was decades before 911.
    3758 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/10/2010 5:25:43 PM
  • v IDARLENE



    There are other reasons for pain. I had some awful emotional pain because I didn't feel or talk about my feelings. I needed to learn (slowly) to feel my own feelings instead of focusing on other's feelings. Then I learned to talk about the way I was feeling, especially with my husband since we're together pretty much 24/7.

    As the song goes, "it is no secret what God can do. What He's done for others He'll do for you. With arms wide open, He'll comfort you. It is no secret what God can do".

    Jeremiah 32:17 is my life's verse. love, Darlene
    3758 days ago
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