this is a genuine birthday-present-opening surprised photo

just a little lunch in the most beautiful place on earth

I love this guy


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I've been making weight-related goals for years, and if I've learned anything, I've learned they don't work. For me. So now I'm moving forward in a different light. My new goals will revolve around my mental energies, daily emotions, and attitudes toward food and people and life. For example, I'd like to feel good about food (it's really not the enemy!). I'd like to stay tuned in (instead of zoned out) when I eat. I'd like to grocery shop with the specific intention of cooking the food I'm buying. I'd like to talk nicely to myself when I'm eating healthy AND when I forget. I'd like to end the guilt. (Guilt! What a worthless, ineffective emotion!) I'd like to have more correspondence with my body (e.g. "hey, tummy, are you full?" "why, yes, I am, thanks for asking"). I'd like to stay active because it brings me joy (sweating really DOES feel good) and not because I want trimmer thighs.

With that said, I'd like to love myself regardless if I lose weight. As I accomplish the goals listed above, I need to accept their outcome: hopefully I'll be happy and slender, but one out of two wouldn't be bad, either.

I used to think that I needed to weigh a certain amount before the fellas would look at me. But now, after five years of wonderful marriage, I wonder: if he loves me so much, why can't I? I've gone through my early adulthood thinking I needed just one more thing before I was truly, fully happy: husband, travel, career, weight loss, etc. However, after checking off most of the list, I think I need to reevaluate. My life is good! Even if I don't lose a pound!

So here is happiness, right here, as I sit on my exercise ball, type these words, smell the aroma from the spinach-ricotta pie I have in the oven, and treat myself with a bit more kindness, respect, and love.

Member Since: 8/27/2006

Fitness Minutes: 0

My Goals:
-to feel thankful continually
-to eat with joy and passion
-to forgive myself
-to have an idea of what I want to buy at the grocery store BEFORE I get there
-to love myself as I am
-to focus on meals
-to trust myself

My Program:
Quit the obsession of calories! Food isn't numbers, food is flavors. I plan on recognizing when it's time to stop. I plan on skipping daily indulgences (which is an oxymoron, anyway)

Personal Information:
I've been all around the world trying to find myself, but here I am, back in my home state, laughing good-naturedly at myself. Find myself? Haven't I been here, in my own body, all along?

I'm married to my favorite man on the planet. He knows good music inside and out, he's not afraid of chasing bears, and he tolerates my insanity! Oh, and he's cute, too.

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