15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 16,890

This is me, 63lbs of my 64lb goal LOST.....FOR GOOD THIS TIME!!!!

This is me at the in-laws over Thanksgiving 2008, 77lbs lost, size 7 and a new hairdo!

1999 pic of high school sweethearts and the beginning of my weight increase


Workout Clothes

Easter Basket


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I'm a 40 and fabulous Mom, LPN and caregiver to my life partner who is in a wheelchair. Several things have changed in my life since joining SparkPeople, aside from losing 77lbs....YAY ME!!! My FIL passed away suddenly April 27th, 2008 after collapsing at home and slipping into a deep coma for two days. The loss is tremendous and Kyle (his son & my partner) and Logan (our son) as well as myself have been deeply affected. Shortly after his passing, our Son faced a life threatening situation with his gallbladder that required immediate surgery, had he waited a day or two it would have burst and the Dr stated in his case it would have been exceedingly serious. Since Dad is no longer with us, and our Son had his scare (which he is doing much better now aside from adjusting to life without that little filter) I decided to stay home and bring the focus back to my family and myself....thank goodness financially this works for us... and in light of things that have come to OUR attention since Dad passed, it is OUR belief that he supports my choice to put family and self first and foremost.

2008 has been a year of struggles for everyone, and stress has been lurking around every corner waiting for each of us. It's been a main trigger for me in my endeavors to lose the weight, keep it off and maintain a healthy lifestyle. I won't's been difficult at times to not give in and run screaming to the grocery store for a half gallon of my favorite ice cream and eat it all while curled up under the blankets in bed. I also won't lie that while I haven't given in to that urge, I've hit a few hiccups and hit the highest numbers on my daily nutrition intake or surpassed it once or twice and gone through the guilt trips afterwards.......I've also struggled with staying on my fitness routine.....winter time and the holidays have always been difficult for me on a personal level so while I strive to stay/get back on track I'm realistic enough to know it's going to continue to be a struggle throughout the next month or so.

My reason for explaining all of this is to get one message out there. DON'T PUNISH YOURSELF FOR MISTAKES!!!

As someone on here told me, guilt has no place in any of our lives. It is first and foremost a destroyer and none of us, no matter how big the "mess up" is in our own mind, giving in to guilt won't serve anything but to create more guilt and cause each of us to spiral out of control.....and while I'm a believer in Tough Love sometimes the first step in gaining back the control you lose when guilt tries to weasel in is to forgive yourself the mistakes, find the trigger that caused you to make them and move on.

Never forget........we each are human and as human beings, we will make mistakes....but regardless of those mistakes, we are each good people, we deserve to forgive ourselves the mistakes, learn from them and move onward and upward. It always sounded hokey to me but.......

Today truly IS the first day of the rest of my life

I forgive about each of you??

Blessings to all )O(

Member Since: 2/22/2008

My Goals:
To stay focused, positive and maintain my weight loss, forgive myself my mistakes whether they are nutrition or fitness related and live life to its fullest.

My Program:
Each meal (when we are home and it is possible) is planned in advance and carefully weighed and/or measured during prep to keep me focused on keeping the weight off and staying healthy.

I have increased to a 5 day scheduled cardio workout routine and 2 days of strength training, though there is usually at least one extra day due to mowing or other heavy activity. Since my sweetie is paralyzed I lift on him on a daily basis (approx. 175lbs) several times a day. I use mirrors to show me the fantastic results Sparkpeople has helped me achieve, in order to stay focused, because I'm not afraid to look in them these days and I treat myself to little goodies (non-edible) as a reward, because there's nothing wrong with rewarding oneself :)

Personal Information:
I'm a transplanted city girl, from Tulsa, OK to rural MO. I have a 22 yr old son and his father and I are high school sweethearts. My sweetie is a quadraplegic and I provide 100% of his daily needs/care and routines as well as manage the house jointly with Kyle.

Other Information:
I'm an avid reader, love my critters and the only thing I truly can't stand about where I live is the small town gossip/Peyton Place frame of mind.

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 current weight: 162.0 
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