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July 2007 - camping in Kananaskis. I'm about 10 pounds heavier than I'd like to be

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Back view. Yikes!!! I need a butt lift!

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I have been on hiatus from Spark for several months now. Every time I tried to get back, I became scared. Scared of failing one more time, scared of setting goals for myself that I never meet, scared of seeming "pathetic". Why can't that girl just stick to her guns and make it happen? After all, it's only 10 (or 15 pounds). Just stop the pity party and DO something about it!! That's what the voice inside my head says.

There are several things that I need to do to make it different this time:

1. Remember to LOVE the body I am in, whether or not I am at my goal. This can be hard as I have at times put all my effort into keeping my body healthy by running, eating healthy and focusing on maintaining a healthy wait, only to discover that my body is STILL letting me down. Recently discovered polycystic kidneys, low blood pressure, low iron and low Vitamin D levels were causing me to feel tired and depressed ALL THE TIME. I am using supplements and trying to understand my health issues to the best of my ability to make sure I am doing the best that I can for my body. Anxiety also frequently causes me to lose track of my goals and focus inwards, using food to calm and suppress the manic thoughts in my head.

2. I have to learn to enjoy food without abusing it. I feel like an addict. Once I get started on a binge, my mind won't let me stop, even when I get to the point where my body wants no more. I am making a comittment to myself to learn that food can't solve my problems or be my best friend. It is possible to appreciate good food and occasional indulgences without hurting myself in the process.

3. I have to remain committed to my goal and believe that I deserve it. I can't even count the number of times I have come SO close to my goal only to get stuck in an overeating frenzy and end back at square one (or worse). Often as I get close to my goal, I start to feel anxious and feel like maybe I am being selfish in wanting it, and maybe I am NOT that person (the one that weighs 125 pounds and has the fabulous life that goes with it). Maybe I'm afraid that the goal won't be as sweet once reached and I will still not be that person. Maybe I just have to learn to be happy with the person I am inside and realize that THAT person still deserves to reach that goal.

I have to believe that the choice is mine to make. That food does not have to control me and that there is not "magic pill". The power is within me. This time I am going to harness it and use it to get where I want to be.

Member Since: 8/30/2007

Fitness Minutes: 1,731

My Goals:
I would like to lose 10 to 15 pounds and work at maintaining that once I'm there through healthy diet and exercise

My Program:
From Belly Fat to Belly Flat - Dr. C.W. Randolph

The Eat Clean Diet - Tosca Reno

Running 4 times a week and strength training 4 times a week

Personal Information:
I am 40 years old, married with two boys aged 9 and 6

I am a Speech-Language Pathologist and I run my own private practise.

Other Information:
I am 5 ' 7 tall and happy to be fit and forty!!

Read More About ALISONSLP - Profile Information moved here. (Updated January 16)

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  • v DS9KIE
    Hi I’m glad you have joined Eat to Live team. Feel free to look all the message boards and ask many questions. You can also check out the link and the announcements for more info.

    Come and eat lots of fruits and veggies.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2191 days ago
  • v no profile image MAIL2CAROL
    Hi Alison,

    I was just reading about Mariel Hemingway's blisscuits. I notice in your recipe you use xylitol rather than the agave nectar listed on the packaging. Does your recipe still taste like Mariel's?
    2922 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    We're going into the fall season! Let's P-L-A-N for success!

    See you on the Turn Up the Heat team soon!
    2978 days ago
    Welcome to the TUTH (Turn up the heat) team! I've been reading your take on the vegan version of this plan. I think it's doable when done right and you seem to know your stuff. I put some of my thoughts on the team page on the thread you started. Let us know if you have any other thoughts or questions. emoticon
    3070 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon Kudos to you for joining us here on the Raw Foodies Team. This will be one of the best decisions you have ever made. Sparkers come here and join this great team for a multitude of reasons. They may be curious about the health benefits of Raw Food and join to learn all about eating Raw. Many join for the weight loss. Many join the Team for a Detox. There are a great many people who do the Raw Food Diet as a Detox but then they realize how alive they feel and how the pounds melted away so effortlessly they decide to continue to eat this way. There are others who will join this Team for the health benefits of a Raw Food Diet. A diet based on raw food can reverse diabetes, arthritis (I personally have experienced this. I went off all of my arthritis meds after only a few weeks), heart disease, cancer (that is how I became involved with the Raw Food Diet when my sister was diagnosed with Lymphoma), eliminates migraines, the list goes on and on.

    So join us and learn how to make the transition from SAD (Standard American Diet) to a healthy Raw Food Diet. You will be happy you did!

    3182 days ago
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