I hope you are feeling better, 75 years old? Seems I once thought that was old but now as I am closer to that age I think how wrong I was. My inner me is only 13 most days. Still uncertain of my choices and the nativity of my self-talk. Lots of positives being 13, that was before I lost people, my how that impacts us as we age. I have not lost a child but seeing friends live with that event I have seen the chaos it brings to them. I hope you gain strength and figure out what it takes to get through to become strong and happy which is what your loved ones would wish for you. One thought is for you to succeed and do all the things they never had a chance to do. Praying for peace and calm to come your way.
So sad story of yours. If I can take all pain and health issue from my family to myself I would be so happy! I think, it is easy to be ill then cake care for ill child or loved one. Happily right now in my family only I am sick. I am diabetic type 2. I live on Insulin injections, every day from 400 to 600 units. Huge dose. So expensive that every time when it is time to have next Insulin supply I am in deep depression and fear. What if Health care company would not pay for it? It happened one time after another, and now I am never sure, I will have Insulin in my ref. Happily last week Insulin arrived, and now I can live another three month worry-free. Today my DH and I went to the Metropolitan Opera. we live in NYC and we do have subscriptions for The Met, NY Phill, Chamber music. Sometimes we go to theater but not very often. Tickets are way too expensive. In Opera and NY Phill we have cheapest tickets, but best on the level. Also with this price we can go to Lincoln Center almost every weekend. I am disable person. I stay home and go out only with my DH. So, all day long I sit and watch video on Amazon and color my coloring books. Also I love quilting. My right arm in pain and I have problem to eat, so coloring is very helpful to work it out and to fight depression. I very wish you to find your way to find The Peace. My Best Wishes to you.
4/26/18 2:15 P
My heart goes out to you..
No parent should outlive their children yet it's evident that we both have. I can relate to everything you wrote..
I don't have any support from anyone..other than the people here on SP..
I would love to have a partner/companion to journey with..wife or 'partner'..I am just sad and tired of being alone
I can relate to being frozen in time .. sometimes I want to go back in time..turn back the clock and find a 'safe place' to land..
Resident of Gods County here in the PNW .. We don't Tan here in Wa, We Rust
Im soo sorryfor tbe loss off your Daughter .. I came back to Spark end of 2017 after my mother passed. She lived with me & I was her full time caregiver. Being Hyper Focused on mom's health, mine took a back seat. My mom was quite the character! before she passed she sd, "God all my cute clothes from Macy's, & all my daughters are too Fat to wear them, promise me you will keep my favorite ones & wear them".. Feb 2018 I wore my mom's fancy coat to dinner with my sisters. It was hilarious all of laughing at mom's coat & imitating her voice abt how the other two sisters are still Fat!!! Were close knit family with a sick sense of humor so this was all in good fun!!
I started at 355lbs. Asked god to just give me strength to start. I walked my driveway 20 mins was all I could do, but I stuck with it. Im 100 lbs down as of March 2018... I don't count calories or weigh my food.. I eat a low carb diet & practice Intermittent Fasting. Finding what works 4U is key.. I know you will find it too. Cheering 4U!! Alofa
This is going to be a journal for my motivation. I have used Sparkpeople over the years with no success. That is my fault I am sure. I am on the path to obesity again. I reached 180 at one time and after my illness I went to 128. During the years of my weight I had meds for every illness you can get for obesity, I have no diabetes, no high blood pressure, my labs are wonderful. I went to a pool three times a week to walk in the water for no less then one hour each time. You become social and the time goes by quickly. November last year I found out for the second time in my 74 years that my 51 year old daughter had two years at the mos t to live. Well, I lost her brother at 13 to the same fate. The pool stopped, the self pity started to set in. My plan was to go back to the pool, my senior yoga class when she passed. So, she passed in January and here I sit frozen in time depressing over my weight and doing nothing about the fast climb of fat in my stomach! Now I eat very little, I have a toast with PB, I eat my dinner about 2 in the afternoon. My weight is in my bloated stomach, I am giving birth any day the way I look and feel. I have Lymphatic colitis and am just getting off an other 7 week course of steroids. Yeah that really helps with the weight. So I decided to journal and get all of my thoughts out in the open, better then sitting up in bed at midnight and looking for glasses and a pen and paper. I always have great intentions but I will do it tomorrow. At 75 next month how many tomorrows do you have? I have so much to be thankful for. A beautiful home an extraordinary husband, I live in Gods country in NW WA started with mountains and forests every where you look. Rather then trying to get involved with the message boards again, which I never had any feed back, I am going to try this for me only and remind myself it is good to release all of this pent up thinking each day. Today I am going to do my senior walking tape, 1 mile for 30 minutes. I will do it. Sour dough toast, with egg salad and 1/2 small avacado. Well yesterday was interesting. I went right to the walking tape. I made it about 10 minutes every muscle in my hips and legs yelled at me. Cramps and twitching last night in bed. Ok this morning so back at it. A little every day will build up the muscles. I made fried rice with carrot, peas onion and egg roll for dinner/lunch. I only took a bite. Went to bed without eating any more. This morning I had PB toast and a cup of coffee. Will have a bowl of rice and a cup of soup today. Off to the base to return my broken candle, keeping busy better then sitting. I will be back.
TGIF. I retired at 53 but still like Fridays. It is 11 am and I am eating mt fried rice actually made with olive oil no fry. Due to my colitis I can only eat what makes u gain weight. Sweet potato, white bread, white rice, bananas, no seeds, no skin on fruits, no cabbage type vegetables. Pretty much not much healthy or raw. So due to being up since 3 am next to the bathroom I will eat the rice, have a baked potato for early dinner. I can do well fasting, I don't eat after 3 pm and due to degenerative disc disease I go to bed at 7. No sleep before nine but I have to get off my back. Not sure what diet I can be on to actually lose weight just eat less I guess. Off to vacuum and wash some floors, pretty nice out right now, pretty rainy this week. Everything is so pretty coming in bloom. See you tomorrow.