What a wonderful and heartfelt message. I can tell you are a strong person and you WILL get back to where you were in 99. Your writing and the courage I can hear between those lines of words is so strong. You have the support of SP family, friends, and most of all you have God in your corner fighting for you every inch of the way. You know what you want and you can do it. You make a commitment to God and you can make a commitment to yourself to do what is right for you. God bless you in your journey. You've already started your journey and just know people are here rooting you on.
Fitness Minutes: (2,262)
5/4/12 5:11 P
For a long time, I neglected myself. I was so busy trying to please everyone around me that I forgot about myself and unfortunately so did everyone else. I gained and gained weight. Lets just say, I was 135 before i got pregnant in 99...by 2008 I was 250. From the time I had my daughter and Id say 2008, I lost myself in a world of warped happiness and drug induced hazes. Im sorry but I had to go there. I woke up one day and realized that I was a mess. A total and complete mess in EVERY sense of the word. I was trying to self medicate a long history of mental illness and abuse that I witnessed as a child. I was a lost soul. Then, I found this man. This wonderful man. We knew each other from years ago but it was as if God sent him to me. He helped me up out of the sespool I called my life. He held me and let me cry on his shoulder and didnt judge me. He showed me so much positive energy and compassion it was infectious. Before I knew it, I had a wonderful psychiatrist who I trusted and got me on the right medication. I cleaned up my act totally and completely. Today, Im taking care of me.Im doing small things for myself I didnt do for a very long time. A manicure may not mean much to some, but to me it was a beginning of getting back to "that girl"...the girl who cared about how she looked, how she felt, who she surrounded herself with, the girl who put herself and her wellbeing right up there with everyone elses. I thank God everyday for sending me this man to lift me up emotionally and spiritually and also for this blessed chance to regain my life...to lose the weight I gained, to achieve optimal mental health, and to be a productive member of my society. Thank u to Spark too for the encouragement I get from my teams and the wonderful tips on helping me through this magnificent journey of selfdiscovery...Courtney