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SUMTHINGSPECIAL SparkPoints: (11,608)
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Posts: 413
2/24/13 4:30 P

What have you done to prepare for that lifestyle change? Have you bought a new cookbook - or enrolled in a new cooking class? It truly helps - if you want it to be a true change - to provide yourself with ways to ensure its benefits truly stay with you. My daughters and I started watching Food Network shows. While some of the ingredients / methods of cooking may not be healthful. I always find inspiration - and some knowledge to help me make my food healthier and more delicious. If you truly want a change - it is not going to be enough to rely on a handful of recipes - it helps to really change the way you think of food - and change the way you prepare it.

It is possible to love this change - but ask yourself what you can really do to make yourself more successful on that path. Whatever it is - I'm sure you will enjoy the journey!


1SALMON1 SparkPoints: (20,924)
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Posts: 399
2/24/13 12:48 A

Thanks for this posting! I feel the same discouragement - it is tiring. After years of dieting, losing, and gaining back all the lost weight plus more, I topped 300 lbs in my early 40s. Since then I have still cycled, just a little differently - I lose weight, gain back most of it (not all), stall for a while, then lose again. I think I read that people who succeed at quitting smoking have tried to quit on average 9 times before they finally quit. How discouraging that must be, to keep trying again and again after so many failures. But how worth it. Same for us. Hang in there!

CHUBBYTRISH39 SparkPoints: (449)
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Posts: 56
2/23/13 9:15 P

Wow! It's almost as if I wrote those words...I am turning 40 in August and have about 50 pounds to lose. I have been trying since January to "Start" my lifestyle change and I am so motivated for a couple days and then just go back to the old ways. Feel like it is too much work to count calories and measure food. My metabolism is sooooooooo slow. I am gaining weight just sitting here probably!LOL. I know exactly how you are feeling. I am here to chat at any time. I am sitting here writing out my food list for tomorrow. After todays episode of trying to get into a pair of jeans I wore last's time for a change whether I am ready or not! Good luck to us. We can do it...I know we can!!!!

ROANNE_N Posts: 134
2/23/13 8:13 A

Thanks everyone! Great advice. I think I need to make smaller changes. Looking back, I did go all "gung ho" and do everything all at once. Healthy foods, 8-10 glasses of water and 60 minutes of exercise a day. Which is great, but too many changes too quick to stick to. No wonder I got burned out. I'm going back to baby steps and make one change at a time until it becomes a habit. Hopefully this way it will last!

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (201,401)
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Posts: 27,439
2/23/13 7:14 A


Twice in my life I've weighed over 200+ pounds, when I was your age, I decided that wasn't going to happen a third time. Every single member of Spark People has experienced what you're going through. We're all experts at gaining, losing and regaining weight. Well, that was the past. You can't change the past, but you CAN influence and change the future.

I give all new members and anyone looking to get their motivation back one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself is to drink 8 glasses of water today, that's still a step in the right direction.

Good health isn't "all or nothing". Every little bit really does make a difference. That's why SP encourages its members to start with some simple goals first. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not exercising, don't start with an hour. Set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

And that's how good health starts. it starts with a few simple steps. Also, you have to understand that there are going to be times when you will get bored. Those are the times you have to PUSH THROUGH and keep plugging along. This isn't the Biggest Loser where you have someone pushing and constantly motivating you to lose. You've got to find the motivation to keep up your healthy changes.

Here's one thing I recommend you do. Sit down and write out the reasons YOU want to lose weight. Before you lose weight, you have to decide why you want to lose. "I want to lose", just isn't enough. Are you losing because you're worried about your health ? Are you losing because you want to be able to fit into your wedding dress ? Are you losing because you want to run in a marathon ? Are you losing because you want to have more energy ?

Once you have your reason to lose, that's when you need to decide what you need to do to achieve that goal. And personal opinion, goals should be realistic as well as reasonable.

If you get stuck, post on the forums. the spark community will support you.

There is always hope !

2/22/13 10:42 P

It is not hopeless - I am going to be 46 in March and I suffered from an eating disorder for 33 years. March 21st it will be one year since I have not binged and purged. Please don't get discouraged - Baby steps help emoticon

LOVEMOUSE82 SparkPoints: (3,788)
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Posts: 349
2/22/13 9:51 P

You are not failing! You said it yourself. You get bored with it and go back to your old ways. It might help to know what you are eating when you start your "diet" or "lifestyle change". I think a lot of people make the same problem similar to this situation: they start out motivated and vowing to eat well. They stock up on oatmeal and cucumbers. Five days later they are absolutely sick to death with oatmeal and cucumbers!!!! Eating well doesn't have to be boring or depriving. Take some time to research good delicious nutritious food. It isn't all rice cake and cottage cheese and if it was I bet most of us would have given up too. Now in the beginning be prepared to take some extra time to restock your fridge, plan ahead for meals, research and go grocery shopping. But it will get easier and more habitual as you discover your own favorites and ways you like to cook healthy meals...keep in mind this doesn't mean giving up all the foods you are eating now. You are probably already eating some acceptable foods and maybe the problem is portion size or the way it is prepared when you cook it. A lot of it does involve a new way of thinking but by the same token, you don't have to reinvent the wheel. You probably have a good idea of some of the healthy foods that you already like. Start with those and think how you can incorporate those or cook them or even do something unique with them. Then maybe branch out to other foods, ones you haven't tried before. Make this fun and exciting to introduce yourself to new foods and new ways to eat. Definitely a different attitude than "omg, broccoli again, I hate broccoli!" Whatever the foods are you don't like, there's no reason to force yourself to eat them. There are so many other delicious choices you can choose instead of forcing yourself to eat something boring or that you hate.

Edited by: LOVEMOUSE82 at: 2/22/2013 (21:57)
JESSIEJO16 SparkPoints: (155)
Fitness Minutes: (135)
Posts: 8
2/22/13 9:49 P

I hear ya. It does seem hopeless sometimes. I am in the same boat as far as being mad at myself for not keeping up with it. Good advice would be to tell you that you can do it And to take it day by day and that this time is the time but I know that doesn't work for me. So I give to you my motivation and rationalization. Hope it helps! Even though I lost ten pounds last spring and have since gained back fifteen, at least i lost the ten first!! I could be 25 pounds heavier now and I'm not. So if I lose another ten to 20 this year (my new goal) and fall off and gain it back, at least I'm back where I started instead of much heavier.
So don't view this as your next failure. Your ticker says youve already lost 12 pounds- that is success!! Maybe you will gain it all back but, again, like I said, at least you will be back where you started and not heavier.

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 46,222
2/22/13 9:41 P


A big turning point for me was discovering that not only would I have to lose the weight, but I would have to maintain this lifestyle for the rest of my life. After a 30 year battle of losing and gaining, 8 years ago at the age of 43 I began my final journey. I did not care how long it took me to lose the weight, I was going to allow time to change. It took me 3 1/2 years to lose 80 pounds, but before you become discouraged I am proud to say that I have kept the weight off for over 4 1/2 years and counting. The reason, this is my way of living. I have never deprived myself of the foods I loved before I began the journey.

For me dieting meant deprivation until I lost the weight only to fall back into old habits. This time around I allowed myself to have all foods, but in moderation. The minute I took the stigma away, the foods that once caused a binge-fest in other diets, no longer did.

You can do this, but allow yourself time to evolve and trust me you can and will lose the weight.

Take care!
Coach Nancy

ROANNE_N Posts: 134
2/22/13 8:58 P

the same old thing over and over again. I know that it needs to be a lifestyle change and not a diet. I don't even know how many times I've made that "change" only to get bored of it or something and go back to my old ways. it's an endless cycle of losing weight and gaining back more. I keep gaining more and more weight. I'll be 40 in May and I need to lose at least 75 pounds, 100 would be better. I'm almost afraid to try again. I don't want to fail again and end up even heavier than I am now. Of course as I get older I know my metabolism will slow down and I will gain weight anyway. It just feels like a hopeless situation.

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