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CLARK971 SparkPoints: (29,686)
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10/5/12 2:23 P


"Come ON, now you're just showing off. :)" that made me laugh! : )

MAYBER SparkPoints: (120,147)
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10/4/12 8:34 P

emoticon emoticon emoticon

10/4/12 6:06 P

Thanks. Sometimes I just crave greasy food, and if I eat like one little tater tot, I have to pay for it, in tracking and guilt and all the rest. Or not guilt, or more exercise -- the whole thing's a debate. It all MATTERS. The idea of eating 20 of them -- and a buttery grilled cheese sandwich -- without a care in the world was stunning. Then a Coke and a donut with sprinkles? Come ON, now you're just showing off. :)

KJONESANTH SparkPoints: (0)
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10/4/12 4:49 P

I agree with everyone who says that you ca't judge her nutrition by that meal and all bodies are unique but I definitely still sympathize with Carrie. This meal also seems almost obscene to me, though there are probably a million or so "value" meals a day sold to Americas with about the same amount of low-value carbs and fat! No wonder fat is the new normal!

It's a LOT of work to track and exercise an do all these things that you know will make you healthy! I'm pretty much where you are with @70 lbs. behind me and @ 50 lbs. more to lose, so I understand just how much it takes. I think it's natural to resent that other people don't have to do this work, whether because they never developed bad habits or because of the way their body works.

Does it help to say "You are what you eat"? (hehehe) Best of luck! Hang in there, your body may just need some adjustment time :-)

JENNILACEY SparkPoints: (81,972)
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10/4/12 4:34 P

One of my friends has always been super skinny. Like 100 lbs soaking wet. She would gorge on foods she thought was fattening to try to gain weight and just never could, she felt she was too skinny and wanted a bit of meat on her. Even after a pregnancy she's still super thin. Just fast metabolism I guess and she was always very active. Some people just have the opposite problem, gaining weight.

I used to eat like a pig and weighed 110-115 lbs before I had kids. I was just constantly on the go and worked at an active job. Pregnancy and kids slowed me down and I packed on the pounds so it eventually caught up with me. I have been losing weight pretty fast though since I started trying to eat healthy and exercise more. I'm not even eating less than I normally do. Just more regularly and healthier. I set my goals to lose 1-2 lbs and I lose 3 even eating at the middle of my range. But I'm short, active and gain muscle easily so I have a fast metabolism.

Everyone is different metabolism-wise and have different lifestyles. A lot of it comes down to how active you are in your life. Look at Micheal Phelps, when he's training he has to consume 10 000 cal/day! I still wouldn't go back to eating the junk I use to in a million years. You can be unhealthy and thin too. I'd rather be healthy.

Edited by: JENNILACEY at: 10/4/2012 (17:09)
MMEEAAGGX3 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/4/12 1:14 P

You can still eat those things and lose weight...I lost 137 pounds and I eat a lot of junk food...I make SURE I incooperate healthy foods for balance...But I definitely mow face at McDonalds now and then.

SOFTREFRAIN SparkPoints: (0)
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10/4/12 12:38 P

I used to get myself all worked up about the same thing. How unfair it was that my friends could eat whatever they wanted and stay thin while I had to work at it just to be normal. All it did was bring me down and make me feel rebellious against the whole idea of trying to lose weight. One day I accepted that yes, life is not fair. This is just the way it is.

It has nothing to do with discrimination or social injustice, only body mechanics! It's not their fault that they have high metabolisms any more than it's my fault that I don't. We all just have to work with what we've got. Once I accepted this, it was a lot easier to stop internalizing other people's actions and only focus on the ones I control: the choices I make for myself.

FP4HLOSER Posts: 968
10/4/12 12:00 P

She may never get fat. Some people just have a high metabolism! I worked with a woman who was in her mid 40's and was a bottomless pit! She was always begging food from everyone...especially if it was mashed potatoes LOL! She even had her son when she was 40 and was still skinny. We used to tell her someday she would wake up weighing 600 pounds someday. emoticon

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (252,346)
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10/4/12 10:54 A

until I hit 30, that was pretty much me. I ate whatever I wanted and never gained a lb. But I was a 'skinny fat'. I have much more muscle tone now, I'm stronger & healthier.

I do miss not worrying about what I eat. But I REALLY miss walking into a store and buying a bathing suit without having to try it on. That was nice. Too bad I didn't appreciate it at the time.

10/4/12 10:48 A

LOL at "I want to be a fly on the wall when she discovers her first chin hair."

I can remember going to a buffet restaurant and having my mom look at my tray and say "Where's your vegetable?" and me trying to make the case that french fries ARE a vegetable, because they're made out of potatoes, and as everyone knows, a potato is a vegetable.

ELOQUENTZ SparkPoints: (6,844)
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10/4/12 10:09 A

Just coming back to this. I used to work with a "skinny girl". Tara would eat burgers and fries or KFC or Taco Bell every single day at work. When she was a student, she'd get an XL pizza for dinner and eat it cold for breakfast and lunch. We kept telling her that "you can't keep eating like that". "One of these days it's going to start catching up to you". She laughed us off. Well, when she was about 25, she started putting on weight. She kept wearing the same clothing and gradually had more and more pudge poking out of her low rise pants and short shirts (they used to meet in the middle no skin showing as we were in a professional environment, but then it started looking like 14 year old girls do).

I want to be a fly on the wall the day she discovers her first chin hair.

10/4/12 10:07 A

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I feel good about the choices I'm making, but miss carefree eating, just putting on my plate whatever looked good at the moment. What's frustrating is to make healthy, low-fat choices day after day and have the number on the scale seem like I must have eaten grilled cheese and tater tots and a donut instead.

It's true, you never know what someone else is going through. Food can be an emotional issue...

10/4/12 9:57 A

I had an eating disorder for many years. And I looked as healthy as a horse. Not one person ever suspected I was as sick as I was. My doctor told me I would need dialysis if I kept going. My potassium was so low that my heart was skipping beats all the time.
I'm not saying definitely your skinny girl had an ed, I'm just saying you never know- the vast majority of people with eds don't look like they have them.
That being said, now that I"m recovered, do I have days I eat donuts? you bet:)
That's the secret to not "dieting" and making a change for life-being able to let your hair down and eat that donut and know it's not the unforivable sin, that it doesn't have to totally de-rail you. In the end, no one but me says I can't have a donut if I want. There are no bad foods.
If she ate a donut and grilled cheese as a treat, but ate great the rest of the week, that's totally normal and okay. I've found, in my recovery, that if you're too rigid and don't allow yourself treats and to be human, it eventually makes you resentful of your eating plan, and that's when you feel you're "dieting"..I never felt more victorious over my ed than when I was able to eat a piece of cake on my birthday and not feel one bit guilty about it.
Ah well, just my two cents worth:))

10/4/12 9:35 A

This topic represents one of the biggest issues for me. When I see a skinny or even a normal weight person eating a food I would enjoy (but don't eat) it reminds me I have never been able to eat and enjoy that food without guilt and criticism since early childhood. I have been over weight my whole life and I notice people eating foods I cannot eat and wonder what it's like.

ARTSYGIRLV2 Posts: 1,232
10/4/12 9:35 A

Everyone's metabolism is different. She may be able to eat like that for years, but we don't know what harm she's doing her body. Our aim should be first to feed our bodies healthy food and second to get thinner or remain thin.

CLARK971 SparkPoints: (29,686)
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10/4/12 9:19 A

It's not easy. It is easy to say don't compare, but it is hard not to.
It can be frustrating to see-especially when you are working so hard.
You are doing a great job making postiive changes to be healthy. : )

10/4/12 8:31 A

The skinny girl looked healthy as a horse. After 10 months of eating vegetables and avoiding fried foods, it was just amazing to me to see that much high-calorie food on one plate. It was almost obscene looking. I mean the donut had sprinkles on it, for God's sake..... It was the poster child of bad lunches. It just made it ironic that it was a skinny girl eating it.

Wistful is the right word. If I had eaten one tater tot I would have had to go look up the calories and dutifully log it on my tracker. I just wish I could be that carefree and eat whatever looks good at the moment. I could choose to, but I don't want to pay the price. That's all.

CLARK971 SparkPoints: (29,686)
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10/4/12 8:21 A

I grew up being that skinng girl. And all my bloodwork was always fine. I ate a lot of junk in college and didn't gain a pound. There were whispers among my friends about an eating disorder-which was not true. I wasn't excpetionally active either. I never really worked out.

My kids are both like that. Very active, athletic pre teens that drink 2% milk, eat full fat foods and are in perfect health. We actually tried to get my son to gain weight before football season started.

Sometimes I wish I could still eat like that. It was a lot easier. I am in my 40s and have had to change my eating ways as i got older.

BROOKLYN_BORN Posts: 7,563
10/4/12 7:54 A

Hiphop - I didn't take the OP to be judgemental, just expressing wistfulness that she wasn't able to indulge as the person she was observing. One of the deficiencies of the printed word is that intent is sometimes skewed.

10/4/12 7:45 A

I'm going to echo what everyone else said, but it's pretty unfair to YOU to judge your body on someone else's. Who knows what the skinny girl is doing! She might be training for a marathon, or maybe she just doesn't care about her weight, or maybe she's indulging in a cheat meal, or maybe she's satisfied with her body, but really, her choices don't impact your choices. I can't speak to why you are not losing weight, but what she eats shouldn't be a point of contention for YOUR weight loss.

BROOKLYN_BORN Posts: 7,563
10/4/12 7:20 A

Carrie – Exactly right and unfortunately the majority are in denial at best or at worst openly antagonistic to efforts to turn things around. You’re on the right path. I read a blog recently titled “Happy to be overweight.” She achieved the short term goal you’re aiming for and you will too. Good luck on your journey.

10/3/12 8:57 P

Brooklyn -- Interesting, and very true. I read somewhere that in the US, our children might be the first generation ever recorded in the US to have a shorter lifespan than their parents. The rates of illness associated with obesity may cause the next generation to have a lower life expectancy than we do. Sad.

My personal short term goal is to no longer be in the "obese"category on the BMI scale. I know it's not a perfect standard of measurement, but it's just something I have in my head. I'd like not to be obese. I need to lose 30 pounds just to be overweight.

Edited by: CALLMECARRIE at: 10/3/2012 (20:58)
BROOKLYN_BORN Posts: 7,563
10/3/12 8:27 P

As the weight of our nation increases, our image of ourselves is changing. With 66% of us overweight or worse and another % struggling with anorexia or illness, normal BMI or slim people are currently an ever shrinking minority. Maybe we notice them more because here we are on SP working hard to get and stay there, but as a recent article concluded “Fat is the New Normal.”

This was posted on a blog a few days ago

EEJAYBEE Posts: 261
10/3/12 5:35 P

I agree about what society says about weight and image. Somehow it feels as if, if you're slim, then you've obviously got everything under control (even if you've actually got a disordered pattern of eating), wheareas if you're overweight you must be lazy and eat fast food all the time...
I do have friends who are very slim, who eat sensibly but also have bodies which don't store fat (one of my friends was super-skinny AFTER having four children!!)- but I also have slim friends who have very odd patterns of eating. I am pear-shaped, I am always going to have to fight to get slim and stay slim, and I am never going to have the figure of a Hollywood model- but I'm learning to accept that that's who I am, and that I need to ignore what the magazines say!

10/3/12 5:21 P

Just to clarify: I'm not judging anyone. If she can thrive on grilled cheese and tater tots and Coke and donuts and weigh 120 pounds, more power to her.

My salad was fresh spinach and romaine with a light viniagrette and some sliced chicken for protein. Not bad. But I eat a LOT of salads, and it was hard for me not to reach over and grab a tater tot off her plate.

One other thing: I know there are very thin people who cannot gain weight. I'm sure it's tough. But our society rewards thinness in a way it doesn't heaviness, and the thin people who can't gain weight get the pleasure of eating all they want anytime they want. So it's hard for me to summon sympathy.

Just venting a little among my Spark friends.

Edited by: CALLMECARRIE at: 10/3/2012 (17:24)
NIRERIN Posts: 14,299
10/3/12 5:13 P

you simply can't judge a person's diet by a single meal. there isn't a single meal that you can observe that says anything conclusive about that person's health or diet in just one sitting.

for all you know she could have just had her appendix out and can't have much fiber yet. or any of a number of things that you can't assume because you have only seen this person once.

to be perfectly honest when i hear salad i tend to think that most salads are pretty poor choices due to their being drowned in cheese and dressing. so i could see a grilled cheese being a superior choice to salad in some instances.

SMALKIN Posts: 25
10/3/12 4:25 P

I was with you, until I thought about my friend Nicole.

Nicole is rail-thin. She has trouble fitting into size 0 clothes at some stores. She can eat all the grilled cheese and doritos that she wants without ever gaining a pound. Her husband is an incredibly picky eater, which means that they wind up eating fast food most nights. But being skinny doesn't mean she's safe from health problems. She had surgery a few years ago, and had a terrible time recovering due to her lack of body fat. No matter how much she eats or exercises, she simply cannot put on weight.

Or, I think of my friend Brittany. She's got what a lot of people think of as the perfect body: about 5'8", size 10ish, long legs, and a gorgeous face. But Brittany has Celiac's disease, lupus, and is lactose intolerant. So, despite her great body (and in detriment to it), she can't eat 80% of the food available to her. Nor can she exercise most days because her body is attacking itself, thanks to her conditions.

I'm not trying to lecture, but I think we all (and I include myself in this) need to realize that you can't tell someone's health just by looking at their body (or their food), and that everyone is fighting their own battles.

ELOQUENTZ SparkPoints: (6,844)
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10/3/12 4:10 P

I think it's unfair both to skinny people and fat people to assume anything based on one meal you observe. People assume that because I'm overweight, I eat bad food. I don't really. I eat whole foods, cook mostly from scratch etc etc. But I eat too much of it.

SKINNY DOES NOT EQUAL HEALTHY! I'm at one of my heaviest weights but right now my bloodwork for cholesterol and sugars is the best it's ever been.

RUSSELL_40 Posts: 16,826
10/3/12 4:01 P

I have a young girl that works with me. She weighs 120 ( she says). I have seen her eat 2 KFC bowls, a pop, and 4 slices of pizza. I have also seen her pass out from low blood sugars, because she didn't eat for 16 hours, while working 12 of them. She did a faceplant off a vending machine. Total pass out. Plus she had heart arrythmias from not eating or drinking enough.

I don't think she plans to gorge, or starve. She just has horrendous nutrition. At her young age, she burns it off, and stays skinny. Probably the same thing as your skinny girl. Maybe she just got off work, and hasn't eaten in 12 hours.

You have lost 75 lbs since Januray. Two weeks is nothing. Review your menu, and make sure nothing slipped an extra 200 calories in, but otherwise relax.

Edited by: RUSSELL_40 at: 10/3/2012 (16:43)
GINGERVISTA Posts: 6,236
10/3/12 4:01 P

I, too, lost 75#, but this time, with the help of SP & emoticon I did it the right way. I was not concerned about a time frame--had been yo-yo dieting for decades--followed the suggestions & gradually the weight came off & I learned there's a big difference between dieting & learning to be fit & healthy. BIG difference! emoticon

10/3/12 3:53 P

Yes, I have lost 75 pounds since January, so I shouldn't complain. Except I still have about 50 to lose, and those last 50 are very reluctant to budge. I lose a pound, gain it back, lose a pound, gain it back...

Thanks for the encouragement. :) I try not to whine, but some days.....

Edited by: CALLMECARRIE at: 10/3/2012 (15:54)
10/3/12 3:48 P

You ticker looks as if you have lost about 75 pounds since january???
Yes, weight loss is difficult. Weight is different for each person, activity is different for each person, food intake is different for each person---focus on the postive that you are doing for yourself. :)

Dietitian Becky

LISA_SUMNER08 SparkPoints: (1)
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10/3/12 3:45 P

I would have been jealous! But all that doesn't sound appetizing together!

TURTLESDOVE Posts: 1,067
10/3/12 3:34 P

I hate when that happens. More than likely, she didn't eat much else than that the rest of the day, because no matter who you are, it's all about calories in versus calories out regarding weight loss. Or, she could have threw it up after she ate it, which is what alot of young girls do. Or she could have a cocaine addiction or something like that God forbid. Don't beat yourself up over it. Keep on keeping on and the weight will start to drop. It has really helped me to cut my bad carbs down a whole bunch and 90% of the time, eat good carbs like whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and beans. Good luck!

EMILY_B2 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/3/12 3:32 P

Definitely do not be jealous. A number of things could be happening.

She could be enjoying a treat. Hey, we all do sometimes! There may be money issues, and that might be what she could afford. She could be like many of us HERE who had horrible eating habits as kids but fantastic metabolisms until age or babies or something else crept up and bit us on our steadily-growing backsides. I was 115-125 lbs through my early twenties and ate like that...and then I got pregnant. She might not know better. She's ultimately not you, so no need to stress on what's on her plate, or yours, or the results she sees versus you.

If you're eating at the lower end of your calorie range, and exercising so much, that might be part of the stall, though. You need to fuel for your workouts. Try eating at the middle or upper end of your range for a week and see what happens? It's a range for a reason, silly. Explore within the upper and lower limits both, and you'll look like this in no time:

10/3/12 3:18 P

I just saw a skinny girl eating a grilled cheese sandwich, tater tots, a donut and a 32 oz. Coke for lunch. I, at the time, was eating a salad and drinking a glass of water.

I'm not saying I'm jealous, because her lunch didn't look healthy. But I would like to point out that I've been eating at the lower end of my calorie range and exercising vigorously six days a week, and I haven't lost any weight for two weeks.

That is all.

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