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BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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Posts: 2,954
7/13/13 6:20 P

Well I find when I run into to people who say things like that, I just ignore them, smile and keep going forward -- if they are my "friends" vs "acquaintences", chances are I will tell them to check themselves!

PBPHILLIPS62 SparkPoints: (7,613)
Fitness Minutes: (3,056)
Posts: 72
7/13/13 10:48 A

wow, thanks. Thats what i love about SP...such wisdom and generally smart people. the video was great and right on track. it's hard to contain my excitement sometimes, but u'r right, i need to keep it to myself. thanks!

BUFFLIECE Posts: 522
7/13/13 10:30 A

I agree with ANARIE about 3/4 of the way. You have all rights to share your happiness. However, realize that people can be very jealous. Or just not like change because it make them look inward and they don't like what they see. I watched this vid on YouTube that changed my thoughts completely.

The part I've taken from this is...keep weight loss as your secret mission.

Saying simply "no thank you" when offered treats at work with no explanation is your right. Even if people figure out you're trying to lose weight or have lost weight, confirming just opens the door to their insecurities. Opens the door to "oh yeah, you're on a diet, like you're soooo fat" kind of comments. You don't have to take that.

PBPHILLIPS62 SparkPoints: (7,613)
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Posts: 72
7/13/13 7:41 A

are you overstaffed...not in urban dictionary. what does that mean?
these are guys that get mad anyway.
i've been trying to lose for 30 years and just got it right; where was shawn t when i needed him. now i'm 50 and have so many past sports injuries that it's just no fun working out in the extreme anymore. i don't mind the pain, it's the cronic nagging pain that gets bothersome. anyway, yea, i'm trying to be more careful about who i talk to. some people say they are trying to lose but that's just to make them feel better about the large meat lovers pizza they are eating while they are saying it.
How bout the food thing though; are other people shocked about how little food it takes to keep your body going? i can't believe it!

GEVANS7 SparkPoints: (322,319)
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Posts: 2,122
7/13/13 1:12 A

"Are you overstaffed

^ lol. All those hens need some work to do!

"Losing weight is losing weight; no matter how much you weighed before you reached your goal. It means that you are dedicated and that you know what you want. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Don't let nay sayers ruin it for you!!!! "

^ I agree 100%

I also agree with AnnMarie. You may not be blowing your own horn, but if you do boast about your great weight loss, well women be jealous.

HAPPYJAY SparkPoints: (17,353)
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Posts: 307
7/12/13 11:33 P

are you overstaffed?

7/12/13 11:18 P

I never say anything about wt. loss, how much I weigh etc. unless someone specifically asks me. I figure if they ask they are interested.

PBPHILLIPS62 SparkPoints: (7,613)
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Posts: 72
7/12/13 11:09 P

thanks everybody, supporters and dissenters.
i'm struggling with all these issues, as well as the weight issues.
these last couple of pounds are killing me. so frustrating.
my plateaus were162 and 152 and now at 147/8.
at each one, i've had to make radical changes to my diet and exercise.
i can't believe how little food i'm down to; an egg, a salad(greens only)
and 8oz. of fish. when i have to snack, it's trisects. (sp?)
i have a knee injury now and can't exercise as much, so i try to do yard work
in the heat of the day. it works. lol
i talk to my friends about it because we share our progress and failures.
i should be more careful about what i say and who i say it to; success does
make people jealous and angry about their failures. i don't feel that way about other
people's successes but i understand it. thanks for the congrats and the groundings,
i'll be more careful. I have to admit it is hard not to brag a little with people i've known for 20 plus years. drive on people! p.s. i love shawn t's insanity

MISSRUTH Posts: 4,319
7/12/13 5:43 A

First of all, emoticon emoticon !!

I'd have to agree with Anarie. When I lost the weight, I did not "crow" about it. If anyone commented, all I'd say is that I was eating healthier and trying to get some regular exercise. I'm a cancer survivor and I reckon they assumed my lifestyle change was related to that. Most of the people I know are overweight to one degree or another, and relatively sensitive (women especially) about it.

I think because I did not talk about a focus on weight loss but rather always just mentioned a healthy lifestyle when asked-- people didn't push food at me much. Sure, they'd offer me a doughnut or piece of cake or whatever. But if I said no thanks they'd just chalk it up to, well she's eating healthy-- and leave me alone.

Where I'd brag on myself some, was here at Spark with my Spark friends. Just about guaranteed to get you a woohoo.

ANARIE Posts: 13,205
7/11/13 10:16 P

I'm going to be the voice of dissent here. While it IS harder to lose the last pounds than the first, there's another question here.

Why are you telling people how much you weigh?

If you all started at the same time and you've been working together all along and comparing results, that's one thing.

But if people are politely congratulating you on your weight loss and you volunteer the information that you're almost at goal, it's really easy to see how that could sound like criticism to a person who's sensitive about her own weight.

I've always found it's better to just keep mum about weight loss. I never told anybody I was trying to lose, and when it became obvious and they started asking, I always said something vague like, "Oh, I just decided I had to watch what I eat. I try to eat more vegetables, and I exercise some." And then I changed the subject. If somebody really, truly wanted to know how much I had lost and how I did it, they would ask again in a private moment and I would give them more details, but I NEVER brought it up first.

It's just way too easy for their ears to hear "I'm so happy! I'm almost at my goal weight!" and their brains to turn it into, "I've lost my weight! You haven't! Neener, neener, neener! What's wrong with you?"

I'm not saying that you've done anything wrong. But sometimes there's a difference between what we say or do and what other people think we've said and done.

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (57,456)
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Posts: 2,545
7/11/13 7:44 P

Sounds like jealousy and lousy friends! Losing any poundage is hard and should be celebrated. Losing my first 70 pounds was much easier (though not easy) then the last 29#s and this last pound till goal is kicking my tush...up and down and up and down for weeks....I just want to see 145 on the scale...just once before I transition to maintenance lol!

FITWITHIN Posts: 26,174
7/11/13 7:31 P

Awesome job on your accomplishment thus far. The next time your friends make that comment; you should tell them it is a big deal to you, because you worked hard to get to were you are now. And, that you still working hard to get to your goal. Tell them that you don't appreciate the negative comments they are giving you. Keep your head up and emoticon !

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (599,871)
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7/11/13 7:16 P

Losing weight is losing weight; no matter how much you weighed before you reached your goal. It means that you are dedicated and that you know what you want. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Don't let nay sayers ruin it for you!!!!

ANGELA557 Posts: 17
7/11/13 5:50 P

First of all, seems to me your friends aren't being very "friendly". Maybe you should think about getting new friends, LOL!.

Second WAY TO GO!!!!!! The last pounds are always the hardest! and you did it (insert dancing yellow smily face here).

third, They are probably jelouse of your awsomeness and want to put you down and bust your bubble, but your bubble can't be busted cause..........yeah thats did it!!!!, HA and they didn't.......

Hang in there and don't let them get you down.

CIRANDELLA SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 6,094
7/11/13 5:12 P

It can be a tremendous struggle for those who seem to have relatively less weight than many to lose. For one reason, those last few pounds cling to the body like a dying man to a life raft - they creep off in mere ounces at a time. Plus, the image we see in the mirror looks pretty good - so there's even a temptation to table weight loss and say, "Well, everything seems to be good enough..."

So for uncomprehending onlookers to say tens of pounds are far easier to deal with than a hundred, say, can be hard to be in another's shoes. That takes empathy, and not everyone has that cherished quality.

I applaud you!

MEGAPEEJ Posts: 732
7/11/13 4:19 P

First of all, congrats on almost reaching your goal! We all know here that losing weight isn't all that easy, and is a big mental and physical accomplishment!

I think the first pounds and the last pounds are hard in different ways. I think the first are harder mentally, having to change your bad habits, learn how to properly eat and exercise, work through the soreness of an unfit body. The last are harder physically - your allowable deficit becomes so small that you're fighting for each ounce of loss, you have to exercise harder to get the same calorie burn you saw previously, you may have a lower calorie range than before.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,583
7/11/13 4:09 P

I don't think your friends should diminish your accomplishments. They are probably jealous and don't like being reminded that they are where you used to be.

EXNOLA Posts: 320
7/11/13 3:46 P

I disagree with your friends just from my own life experience. My husband has about 100 pounds to lose and he can lose 40-50 in just a few months of trying. It slows after that and it is a struggle to keep it off, but the initial loss is fairly large and fast when he starts a diet. I, however have much less to lose and struggle to lose even 5 pounds. The 10 pounds on my ticker is the result of 16 months of effort.
Yes, it is enormously impressive to lose 50, 100, or more pounds. It takes a lot of effort and time and even more to keep it off. But that should not imply that losing less is not worth excitement or praise.

LOVELUCY Posts: 569
7/11/13 3:40 P

I hate it too when people say, "oh, you are so skinny!" I weigh 125 lbs.. I weighed 120 last summer. Ummm, I need to lose 5 lbs. and it isn't easy at age 50, and it is so much harder when you get close to your goal weight. I don't just want to lose weight, I want to maintain a healthy lifestyle because it is harder as you age; I want to be around awhile, lol.

PATJOONWW Posts: 107,878
7/11/13 3:40 P

I would hate that too! Wish I had done something when I got to 180 instead I waited til over 250 and many years later. And I think when I get to 180 the weight loss is not going to be as rapid as it is now. Good for you not to let your weight get more out of control! emoticon

Keep up the good work and much success on your journey!

emoticon ~Pat~ emoticon

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
7/11/13 3:39 P

Pfft, what they seem to not be understanding is, it is a LOT harder to lose the "last 20" than it is to lose the "first 50".

I went from 245 to 195 over 6 months - YEAH IT IS HARD I won't deny, it takes a lot of soul-searching, life-changing, planning, work and determination. But honestly, if you really work at it, it's not that hard to lose 1-2#/week when you're 200+. Now i'm under 200 and already I notice, the weight doesn't just fly off my body with weekly regularity anymore. And the closer I get to goal, I know the more hard-won each pound will be. I wouldn't know because I'm not there yet, but I see enough people here on Spark lamenting the slow 1/4 or 1/2 pound losses they see when getting right down to the wire. YEAH IT IS STILL HARD.

It's sad when people who are supposed to be our friends are so quick to diminish us. Yes, we are all in this together. We have different struggles depending on our starting point - but I don't think it's any more or less "difficult."

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (256,024)
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Posts: 14,965
7/11/13 3:39 P

actually, I think more people would say that the last 20-30 lbs are the toughest to lose.

the less you have to lose, the slower it seems to come off. And if you've been going at it for a while, you have to keep changing things up for progress to continue.

personally, I say kudos for not letting your weight get so out of hand!

PBPHILLIPS62 SparkPoints: (7,613)
Fitness Minutes: (3,056)
Posts: 72
7/11/13 3:31 P

that i'm almost down to my goal of 145. a lot of my friends say, "big deal, it's a lot harder to lose weight when u'r 250, 350...all u did was go from 180 down to 145, big whoop!" I mean, i get it; kinda. but, really, aren't we all in it together? isn't weight loss just hard, period? i just get so frustrated by my friends not supporting me and they know how hard it is! what's with that? 180 to 147...145 here i come! all u haters...don't hate.

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