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5/22/12 10:21 A

My son can stress me out but with how much he makes me laugh which eases stress I think it balances out in the end..

BABYSTEVE11 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/21/12 8:06 P

My kids are the same age and since I don't have any help its hard for me to find the extra time to do much of anything and working just adds so much more stress

_LOSTDREAMS09 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/21/12 10:18 A

I have 2 kids, ages 3 and 1. They stress me out daily. I figure I get most of my exercise chasing them around, but I still like to "Dedicate" time just for me working out. It is a LOT harder to find time that way, though. Just do what you can. No one is super mom.

QUASIOR SparkPoints: (9,005)
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5/18/12 6:43 P

Hey! You are going through a very common situation - I know, I've had three under three and I've had two more since.

I didn't start my full on exercise/eating right thing until my youngest was 4 - all other attempts were big FAILs for me.

So hats off to you right there.

OK: the best advice I can give you - you probably won't want to but you need to. You need to let go of the idea you can do everything yourself. I don't know if you can put them into a child care group of a couple of days a week, and forgive yourself. You are a human being with needs just like those three little ones who are relying on you for absolutely everything in their lives. You need a couple of days a week to be doing something for you. You might work out those days, or go swimming for fun, get pampered, put your feet up and read a book or pop on a movie. Some people even like working. If you can't afford a couple of days off, maybe you have a grandparent who might be available to take them just one day a week? Who probably would love to spend some quality time.

You could also look into "1-2-3 Magic" the most fantastic discipline program - if you can eliminate emotions from shaping their behaviour it's the best program. It stops all the anger/frustration you may be putting into those relationships. No more stress. You've also got to allow for - the children are tired or hungry and need X met.

Do you have playgroups there? Somewhere you can get out of the house in a safe environment with other mums is great on in so many ways! They are no doubt needing to do the same. This is a relief when you can't get child care.

Do they have play gyms there? Mum takes children to a safe play area, and relaxes with perhaps a hot drink while they play? The children get all their wiggles out and you can have a breather.

Another thing that might help you is put some structure in their day. This might be staggered around naps that the younger ones will need. So while one or two are having down time, switch on some DVD (can be learning like MUZZY - languages, or even Sesame St), reading a book or drawing pictures and they can have quiet time with or without you. But have little activities on the go (that don't require much effort (takes a bit of time to organise initially but worth it), like a CD of children's music for dancing, play doh in a bucket, water play outside, trip to the park, painting. You may have room to set up a mess area inside that's OK for paint, or you could get a cheap set of plastic furniture for on the grass on dry days. But have this all structured into a time frame that fits their wake/sleep schedule. Working in snack/water breaks between activities full of fruit/veg/dips like humus to break it all up.

And most of all, pat yourself on the back. Everyone feels this way - everyone! You are doing a great job but these suggestions are just there to make your time with them more relaxed and enjoyable. No one likes stress. Good luck!

JADOMB SparkPoints: (134,622)
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5/18/12 4:20 P

Both my kids are home today. My son is on leave from the ARMY(he's a 2nd Lt. just finished his Armor training at Ft. Benning). My daughter is home for a couple weeks and just finished her finals at Sac State. (she will be a Senior and is in the AFROTC). They are both doing great and no longer really stress us out, but it is still there. I am just glad that we trained them up right and made it through all the stressful, tough times as they were younger. It truly pays off as they get older.

So don't give in or give up, just find more ways to cope and/or do it better. We looked to all the worldly sources to help us raise our kids and worked very hard to do it right. Sometimes we blew it and many times we had to adjust the experts ideas to fit our kids. We did NOT do it on our own. In our case, we leaned on our God, Jesus Christ to help us through times we felt we could just not gather the strength to go further. Keep the Faith.

HOTBODY76 Posts: 12
5/18/12 10:03 A

Having a 2 & 4 year old is the root of my stress. I am a person who loves to have a lot of time to myself and that is just non-existent now. Their father helps, but its the bare minimum. I have not taken care of myself in a good long while. There are times when I think of just going to the airport after work, getting a one-way ticket and disappearing for awhile! The crazy, psycho thing is when they are away at grandma's or with daddy for the day, I miss them and I want them hone to complicate my life!!! :-)

Aslo, I 100% agree with what RESJOHNS2012 said! I have them on a very strict schedule. We seldom vary from that, but if I did, I'd be in a hell of trouble!

Edited by: HOTBODY76 at: 5/18/2012 (10:05)
COLORRED2 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/2/12 1:11 P

Hi ETEH123!
You certainly do have your hands full! I think your feelings are very normal - having 3 young kids takes every ounce of energy and patience we moms have got, and I'd be surprised if we didn't feel the need for a break by the end of the day! I think you've gotten some good advice here about taking care of yourself and looking for support from other moms and help from family, if you're lucky enough to have them nearby. In my time working with Focus on the Family, I've found lots of encouraging advice on their website - like this article - . It sounds like maybe you're looking for some ideas on discipline - you might find it helpful to check out some of the parenting articles, as well - . Hang in there, ok? It doesn't seem like it now, but we always hear about how fast this time will pass - and the time and love that you pour into your kids' lives now is all worth it!

Edited by: COLORRED2 at: 5/2/2012 (13:12)
CRINKLYMONKEY SparkPoints: (4,750)
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4/30/12 6:52 A

All parents get stressed by their kids. We stressed our parents out as well. LOL Payback I guess. emoticon

4/28/12 3:22 P

I haven't met a parent yet who is not stressed out at one point or another by their kids. You are perfectly normal! I work in daycare (not where I imagined myself to EVER be, lol) and then come home to 3 kids. So I spend 9 hours a day with 12 one year olds then come home to a 15, 13 and almost 5 year old (all boys too). One thing that I have found from working is that kids work better with a schedule. Do they have a set nap time or rest time? Do you have any planned activities during the day? Basically, it may be beneficial to you to plan a schedule that includes many activities but that doesn't tie you up all day. Let them play with whatever toys they want for an hour or so, then have breakfast. After that, go outside and play. The kids at my school have fun just running after me on the playground. I have fun too because I am getting in some exercise and I know I'm wearing them out for nap time, lol. Stay out for at least 30 minutes, then come in and do an art project, or reading books, dancing to music, chasing bubbles, etc. Then have some lunch and TAKE A REST. For all of you! You need to rest too because kids can be exhausting. Let them nap or rest (playing quietly for those who don't nap) for 2-3 hours, if possible. Then have a healthy snack, let them free play with toys again, then back outside. When your husband gets home, let him take over with the kids while you work on dinner, or just take a few minutes to yourself. As for the discipline part....time outs work if you're consistent and also if you give them to yourself when needed. Parenting is not a perfected science so don't feel guilty. You will make mistakes, we all do. Hope this helps some. Take care and please stay in touch! emoticon

XTRACATE SparkPoints: (14,893)
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4/28/12 10:33 A

You are a normal mom (whatever normal is) kids drive us all crazy sometimes and being at home with 3 little ones all day is stessful and hard on anyone. If help is a available never say no if a friend or family memeber offers to take one or more for a hour or an afternoon and ask for help if you need it, it does not make you a bad mom.

TIAYORK SparkPoints: (0)
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4/28/12 8:04 A

I am with you when it comes to understanding children, my daughter is almost 6 and yeah she does things that will crawl under my skin but I will not lose my temper with her, I don't believe in spaking my child but what I do have is a Naughty chair, & believe me it works because yeah they will cry & scream but when they finally sit there & think of what they've done it is well worth it

RED7979 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/27/12 12:23 P

You really shouldn't feel guilty. i have 3 kids 3,5 and 7 and it is really stressfull. What works for me is trying every day to make time for my self.

JADOMB SparkPoints: (134,622)
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4/26/12 8:27 P

You may be able to find articles on stress relief on this site and just by googling. But it doesn't mean they will all work for one individual. Especially with children. The most important thing to remember though is that they are just kids and you are a big adult. So if one finds themselves at the point of losing it or disciplining a child, take some breaths and think long and hard about what you are doing. And if you still feel a child needs some kind of discipline, DON'T administer it when you are upset. The child needs to understand that they did something wrong, but NOT that when their parent is MAD they get in trouble. It's a fine line but one that parents need to understand when working with small children.

In the mean time though, find those articles and find the things you can do that may help you to keep calm. Keep the Faith.

LAMBOG73 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/26/12 5:36 P

I know this has to do with me about kids since my kid is 3 1/2 going on 30. There are times I want to scream and there are times I just want to cry. Any advice to staying calm, cool, and collective and maintaining your weight loss plan:)

ZORBS13 SparkPoints: (196,863)
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4/26/12 12:35 P

Use exercise as a stress outlet instead of eating.

No mom guilt allowed. I am lucky that I am an only child, so by nature I am very very selfish, and have no problem taking my son to daycare or leaving the house for hours to exercise, or shop, etc.

ETEH123 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/26/12 12:30 P

thanks so much for the support. today has been a better day and i just have to try not to let them get to me like that. hopefully tonight will be a better night too. and youre right we should try to ask for more help from others.

JADOMB SparkPoints: (134,622)
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4/26/12 11:56 A

Having that many young ones would definitely be stressful. We only had two, but they were only 1.5 years apart, and they could be a handful. I remember days I would get home from work and my wife would have the deer in the headlights look on her face. She had had enough of them. LOL So I would take a quick break to eat and clean up a bit then take over. I am a firm believer in that it takes a mom and dad to be the most successful parenting plan. While all other may work, this is the best.

It also is very helpful when there is close family members around to help once in awhile. Sadly, we really had none, but our next door neighbors were like our grandparents and they would sometimes watch the kids for us when we needed a break. Once was very needed since both of us got the flu at the same time and nearly ended up in the hospital.

Just be careful on the "discipline" thing. Yes, they do need it, but not when you are at a weak point and not thinking straight. You don't want to ever be more out of control than your kids, remember, you are much bigger.

You are right to be trying to get and stay healthy and to eat healthy, that is something that will also help you to be strong when needed. Just take breaks and get rest when you can and be patient with your little ones. My prayers are with you, Keep the Faith.

ETEH123 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/25/12 8:02 P

I feel guilty like I'm not appreciating them enough when I feel this way. I just want to get them out of my hair as soon as my husband gets home. I just can't take anymore wining and crying. They're driving me crazy. I have a 2, 4 and 5 year old. I wonder if I don't discipline enough and that is why they wine so much...or maybe they just get tired towards the end of the day. I just get stressed...I want to cry, binge and pull my hair out. I'm trying hard now to concentrate more on being healthy for me and taking care of my health by not binging and by exercising but it's so hard when I feel so stressed out. anyone else relate?

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