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PINKVAPOR1965 Posts: 349
11/4/12 8:35 A

yes departing from my brother im going through the same thing i sont know how to feel anymore I love him but its time for me to fade and let him grow into the beautiful butterfly He must be that God meant for him to be emoticon

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,530)
Fitness Minutes: (296,613)
Posts: 27,194
11/4/12 7:00 A


Don't blame yourself. Breaking up with a long time boyfriend is hard. It's worse when that person lives in the same house. Will he be moving out ? If he has to stay for financial reasons, then you should try thinking of him like you would a college room mate. He's just sharing the space, nothing more. It'll be tough to make the emotional break, but once you do, you'll start feeling better. letting go will take time.

Quitting smoking is just as harder if not harder for some people. You're probably feeling more than a little overwhelmed. Don't beat yourself up because things may seem like they are falling apart. You can get your life back in order, but you have to set some priorities. Don't try to do everything at once.

Set some simple goals. Quitting smoking cold turkey is NOT easy. So, why not try to cut back for the time being ? If you smoke 1-2 cigarettes a day, that would be a big improvement over a pack a day. You may find weening yourself off is less stressful than going cold turkey.

Have you joined any of the Spark teams for members trying to quit ? If not, I'm going to encourage you to join one so that you have the support of other members trying to quit too.

Take things one day at a time. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated.


JHISEROTE SparkPoints: (8,887)
Fitness Minutes: (7,443)
Posts: 209
11/4/12 1:14 A

Break-ups are hard...extremely hard. Especially if you have been together a long time and you are used to having someone around. Being alone is scary.
DO NOT blame yourself. Relationships don't always work out but it's ok. Right now, you are right in the middle of it and can't think straight but I promise you will look back and wonder why you were so distraught.
The worst thing you can do is be angry at him or yourself! You will put that anger out there and believe me, it will come right back to you and you will feel 10 times worse. Instead, think positive. Think about all the things you can do now as a single woman that you couldn't do while you were in a relationship. Think of all the can meet new people, take up a new hobby, you can have your remote back (haha), you can come and go as you please, you don't have to answer to anyone, you have complete freedom, you can hang out with your friends more, you don't have to pick up after someone else or maybe he was the neat freak and now you can throw your towel on the floor, no more arguments, no more drama, no more worrying about what he may be doing, throw a party, have fun, you can go shopping and spend as long as you want trying on clothes and you don't have to think about him as you plan what or where YOU want to eat...there are endless possibilities! Just don't drown yourself in old memories. Your friends and family are going to be your lifelines now...reach out to them. Being alone isn't always a bad thing...learn how to love your own company. Try new things and make yourself the most interesting person you have ever met! Become who you have always wanted to be!
You can do are worth it!

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (250,328)
Fitness Minutes: (41,449)
Posts: 26,972
11/4/12 12:58 A

It sounds like you are having rather a rough time at the moment. It is really hard to try make one change to our lives, but when we are faced with a few changes all at once, things become quite hard to cope with. I can certainly understand that with your relationship break-up you would be wanting a cigarette, but try to not give in to it. Are you using patches? I hope that you are able to find an apartment very soon - hopefully in an area where you know people. Do you have family or friends close by who might be able to help with a place to stay for a while?

I wish you all the best in finding somewhere to live, and wish you well in your healthy lifestyle journey as well.

Hang in there, and know that there are many people on SP who will help to support you through this. Just keep posting on the message boards for that to happen.

Take care,
BIG hugs,

ANGIECA91351 SparkPoints: (118)
Fitness Minutes: (172)
Posts: 4
11/4/12 12:50 A

I really don't get cravings when that time of the month comes,but I was surprised with it this morning during my walking/jogging exercise. A familiar tug nudged me..ouchie....and I immediately started to speed walk back home. So I'm living with my boyfriend that broke up with me and doesn't feel anything for me anymore...I'm trying to quit smoking...and Iabsolutely want a cigarette right now... and I have to find an apartment for me and dog I can spend christmas by myself.... life is wonderful emoticon

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