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10/2/12 2:13 P

Thanks SO MUCH for all your answers. It helps massively to be able to speak how I feel without fear of ridicule or misunderstanding. I am determined to do it and I hope that taking baby steps will help me

I cant find the strength to go to my doctor or a group, I just feel so embarrased about it all and feel mortifiied at telling someone what I am doing.

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone

GEORGIE1957 Posts: 391
10/2/12 12:38 P

Dear Jaqueline,

Today is my Birthday and I want to give you a gift...................It was the hardest gift that God ever gave me and that was to Love Myself. It was easy to love others but not myself. When people hurt my feelings I would stuff them way down and binge eat. That was many years ago. I had to learn that when I couldn't control my binges, I had to control what I brought into the house. So over the many years I've had to not bring in cookies, ice cream, cakes etc because I knew I couldn't control myself to only eat a portion. I had to bring in healthy food like fruit, which I really find frozen grapes as good as candy. I guess what I am saying when I realized that I wasn't dealing with my feelings, I was eating out of control. Now many years later I know how to tell people with love when my feelings are hurt. The other side of that is people who don't stuff their feelings strike out and attack the person verbally or physically. If we would have been taught to just say something as simple as "You hurt my feelings" instead of escalating the situation or stuffing how you feel with food. As for the clothes, I've been there too and have gone to Salvation Army Store or Good Will to buy my clothes. I know the pit feels deep right now but be encouraged Sparkpeople can be there for you............and don't be embarrassed with your mother.................I mean you being a mother wouldn't want your children not to see you because they are embarrassed. If you mom is negative about your weight just tell her you need her support and not her criticism. Let her know how you feel and maybe she will be more helpful and considerate of your feelings. Then again, if she isn't supportive in a loving way which you need then a little distance until your confidence is stronger isn't a bad thing. Check out Overeaters if you have one close by and sometimes they will talk to you on the phone as well. I hope we have all helped in some small way to encourage you to try again. Remember it is a healthy life change and you can do it. Check out all the successes on Sparkpeople - people who have lost from 5 - 500 lbs and all struggled along the way and didn't quit. Try to do an exercise streak. I had been so lazy for too long and finally on July 4th started an exercise I have been doing treadmill walking in my home for 91 days. I went from 20 minutes to 45 twice a day and there are many times I don't want to do it........................but need to. So get healthy for you and for your family. YOU CAN DO IT! My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers.

Edited by: GEORGIE1957 at: 10/2/2012 (12:42)
DNRAE1 SparkPoints: (56,391)
Fitness Minutes: (14,350)
Posts: 932
10/2/12 12:33 P

I don't have any solutions, but I do know about mothers nagging about losing weight. My mom was at me too, for years, but I finally learned to tune her out and spoke honestly to her about my struggles with overeating. It helped. She just worries about you and wants you to be healthy. Try talking to her about what is going on with you. Good luck and lots of hugs. emoticon

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (199,863)
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Posts: 27,303
10/2/12 12:29 P


Welcome back to Spark People ! I know things may seem overwhelming right now, but you can take control of your life again. At one time or another, every single member has felt the same way. We're all experts at gaining, losing and regaining the weight. You can't change the past, but you can influence and change the future.

Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality. if the only healthy thing you were to do for yourself today was to drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction. Don't try to be perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy. Start with some simple changes.

Example, if you're not used to eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not used to drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not used to regular exercise, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

And that's how good health starts. Don't worry about how much weight you have to lose. instead, start with the first five pounds. One small change is all it takes to change your life.

Now, have you ever considered talking to a therapist about your issues with food ? Don't be afraid to seek professional help. Going to your doctor for a physical every year is just as important for your long term health as the losing weight is. It's important to take care of yourself inside and out. If you're struggling emotionally, that's going to make weight loss difficult.

One thing you might do is join some of the great Spark Teams. There is a Spark Team for members who are dealing or dealt with eating disorders. Join the group. You may find the support helpful.

Take things one day at a time. One meal at a time. Be kind to yourself as you would to others.


11TERRY20 Posts: 237
10/2/12 10:54 A

Hi Jaqueline,

My heart goes out to you. I, too, have struggled with an eating disorder and addiction issues. What's always been the starting place for me when faced with these challenges is to admit what's going on with me and then to seek help. That's just what you've done! So (to my way of thinking, anyway) you are on the right track. Give yourself a giant pat on the back!

The next thing I do is the thing I fear the most. Yeah, I know, you don't want to hear that. I'm not saying to choose more help out of the phonebook at random. I'm sure you're feeling really vulnerable, so research it. That way you'll feel more in control of your life and your choices. Maybe you want to email Doctor Birdie at SP for advice on how to choose the best doctor in your area. Or a coach, or a dietician. You can also check out Overeaters Anonymous. Support was the most important thing for me in my journey, especially during the early days. It's all about learning to take good loving care of ourselves.

I keep asking myself, "What's the best way to take care of myself in this situation." And then waiting for my heart to speak the truth I need to hear. It's always steered me true if I ask it and wait for an honest answer.

You're on the right track. Please be patient with yourself. Change takes time. Everyone I've contacted here at SP has been wonderful help, so keep asking.

*Please remember these are only my thoughts and I am in no way an expert. You can email me if you wish.


SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 46,222
10/2/12 8:56 A


Try not to look at the journey you are beginning as yet another diet. Diets work, but if you do not make this journey a lifestyle, you may find yourself on the diet roller coaster that many of us have found ourselves on. Many times people find that the minute they start a 'diet' the restrictiveness of the plan can actually trigger one to crave foods that they know they won't be permitted to eat on a diet.

This is why SparkPeople allows all foods in moderation, BUT it is going to take planning on your part. Even just making one or two small changes in your current lifestyle can be the boost to keep you moving. Things like drinking water in place of soda or eating a veggie/fruit at every meal or vowing to walk 10,000 steps a day. These are all simple acts that once they become a habit, you can then integrate other healthy habits into your lifestyle.

Hang in there! You can do this!

Coach Nancy

10/2/12 8:49 A

Hi I am in a really bad place at the moment. I was always thin when I was younger but I started dieting at 18 and have obsessively ate since that moment. I have struggled with bulimia but managed to stop that when I fell pregnant. pregnancy to me was an excuse to overeat and now 4 children later I am 2 pounds away from being obese!! I have been on Sparkpeople before but I ran away because I ended up with compulsive overeating. In the last month I have put on a stone and I am frightened because I dont know how to stop. I am scared because this time last year I had a stone to lose now I have 3 stone to lose and my weight is going up and up. I dont know where to turn, I am embarassed of myself and I hate going out. None of my clothes fit now. I dont see my parents very often becuase they live a long way a way but last time I did they were shocked at how much weight I had put on. That was 2 months ago and I have talked to my mum on the phone alot since then and she constantly asks if I have started losing the weight yet. I will be seeing her on Monday and I am dreading it because I now weigh more than when I last saw her.

Can anyone give me advice, I am so sad and fearful of not being able to get this under control. I dont want to see the doctor becuase I am so embarassed.

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