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4/4/13 12:19 A

I try with the exercise, but I think it is going to take some serious therapy to get past my issues. I might as well deal with my issues of why do I use food to feel better ........ like a drug....... rather than be concerned about what it tastes like at the same time. Some people have to be on hideous diets to stay alive, so it isn't all about taste.

I will make an appointment tomorrow. At least now I have some goals for therapy.

WHOLENEWME79 Posts: 950
4/3/13 11:11 P

I find that many people have preconceived notions about what "diet food" or "healthy" options should be- Things like unseasoned, poached chicken breast with broccoli and dry toast. They expect that they must cut out things like bread, pasta, cheese, pork/sausage, fast food, all salt, milk, wine, beer, etc. Their attitude is, healthy food doesn't taste good, or they think they don't like healthy food and don't really try to find something yummy because they think they already know what health food is or should taste like.

That is entirely unrealistic and I the healthiest people I know would turn their noses up at that. Healthy eating doesn't mean never having mashed potatoes with cream and butter, but having smaller portions or making small modifications to use less of the calorie and fat dense foods.

Check out and see what you find. You could buy frozen meals and see if you find something you like, then go from there. Maybe you eat what you normally eat, you just eat less of it.

As far as exercise... I love it, but I didn't always. I just learned that the more I exercise, the better I feel, and the more I enjoy it. I also had to find things I like. I enjoy the sparkpeople DVDs by coach Nicole, and I really find I like strength training. Maybe you like to dance, or would rather swim, or walk or bike. Again, experiment and see what you like.

It all gets easier, as long as you are willing to put for a little bit of effort. Give these changes a fair shake- a few weeks at least- then reassess and see how things feel then.

Best of luck.

4/3/13 6:29 P


Thank for the idea of a pedometer. I have had a fitbit for a year and recently it died and was covered under warranty and got a replacement. That right there was a win. I hate it when things don't work and it seems that for a while the things I bought had problems. I bought a scale last September and I had to get it replaced last month. Not to be funny, but it said I exceeded the weight limit which was 440 pounds and I don't even weight half that. Also under warranty. I bought one of those awesome bidet toilet seats that didn't work when it got here. I drove myself crazy with that one trying to get it to work. The company sent a replacement and all was well.

I am doing a little better. I was pretty depressed and wanted to give up. I was doing a lot of sabotaging in my life to make sure it was even worse. It seemed the only thing enjoyable in my life is eating.

I know a lot of people who dig the eating for two idea. I am sure that once the baby is born that you will be glad that you didn't.

I put some exercise videos on you tube on My Plex so I can watch them on my tv. I did an 8 minute one today. I took a walk to try to get rid of my headache. 5000 steps later and back for some ibuprofen. I will get the rest of my steps on my treadmill later with some elevation because I have to be fit enough to get to my friends third floor apartment that has no elevator.

Thank you for taking the time to write!


LITTLE1DER Posts: 934
4/3/13 1:21 P

First thing you need to try is changing the "I hate this- I don't like that" mind set. There are countless studies and book and shrinks out there that will tell you a positive mindset will produce a positive outcome.
Focus on the things you do like. You say you walk a lot, get a pedometer see how many steps you are taking a day and figure out what that means to your fitness goals, or go online and find a site that lets you map your walk/run figure out how many miles you walk a day and then time yourself and figure out how many miles/hr you are going then see if you can shave a little time off but walking a little faster or add a few steps by taking a different route once in a while, make it fun and interesting.
You don't like flavorless chicken-who does? There are thousands of recipes for chicken on this site alone and you aren't just stuck with chicken breast, you can eat dark meat, fish, beef, pork, etc. just count it accordingly. Make a plan to try one new recipe a week for something that sounds good. Candy is dandy in moderation I have a little chocolate or a treat everyday.
As everyone else is saying, we all are works in progress-I'm 5 months pregnant and still need to track my food and exercise because I have certain risk factors and need to manage my weight-I would love to be using this baby as an excuse for "eating for two" and I get down about having to track and watch everything so close too but then I try to put a positive on it; I'm doing it for the baby, I like my feeling of accomplishment when I have gotten my walks in or stayed within my calorie ranges. Some days I am spot on, some days not so good but the next day I clean slate it, try to meet my goals and move on.
You can do this with a little positivity and light you will see a difference.

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,827)
Fitness Minutes: (48,271)
Posts: 2,449
3/29/13 11:20 P


I just sent you a Spark Mail.

Don't let those baboons get the best of you!
I ate candy, too, today. So what! Some Easter candy is not going to derail my health. Now, if this was before Spark, it would have gone something like this:
Mmm...Easter candy. And more Easter candy. And more & more Easter candy and whoops! I have nothing left for my baskets - better go back to the store. Oh well jeepers - I've already blown it, might as well eat every. thing. in. SIGHT!!! I'll begin again tomorrow....

Now? I have SOME Easter candy. Nothing is off limits; I am still a work in progress but I am learning to better portion control each & every day. I can eat anything I want - I just can't eat unlimited quantities. Learning to be satisfied & enjoy one See's coconut egg (vs, 10) is an art form, one I am learning and practicing every day. Sometimes it's one step forward / two steps back. Other times you'll seemingly leap ahead. But it sure as heck beats the alternative of misery!!!

You can and must eat yummy things that are healthy...losing weight is more about what you eat. Aim for 80-85% healthy yet good-tasting stuff. The rest can be treats so you won't go insane. : )

There's a whole world awaiting you that you just haven't discovered yet!!
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BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
3/29/13 11:01 P

"I need to find a way to be less miserable."

Well.... yes. Yes you do. This should be your primary focus right now. Weight and fitness can come later.

I might have written a post much like yours, if I had been post-writing a year and a half ago. I was not in a happy place. I was miserable. Eventually I hit the sort of rock-bottom miserable where I just had to do something, because I could not carry on that way anymore. I spent *months* working on the process of "fixing me" from the inside - moving from a place of misery and self-neglect (and self-sabotaging behaviours)... it was not easy. Trying to imagine putting the pressure of "losing weight and eating healthy" during that time is impossible. Heck, back then I was struggling with the challenge of simply taking my prescribed-medication and brushing my hair in the morning... the chances that I was going to care about eating kale and hitting the gym were about, oh, zero. Baby steps, you gotta start somewhere... start where you are, no matter how far it is from where you want to be.

Please try and take care of the you that you are today. You're worth it, we're all worth it, and it surely is a mystery how we can become our own worst enemies sometimes.

3/29/13 9:32 P

I have no idea what a presidential physical fitness test is, but do you get hit there for under performing? I'm glad the crappy school I went to didn't have that.

I walked today. But I also ate candy. I did buy some squash to steam. I still have not done that yet.

I think that someone hit the nail on the head. I am miserable.

I can't go to a gym because of my social anxiety. I have a gym membership that comes with my health insurance. I cannot have someone on a treadmill on either side of me. A class is pretty much out of the question unless it is dark. I took a yoga class in the dark and that was ok. Who ever told all these gyms lets put in the most annoying florescent lights money can buy.

I need to find a way to be less miserable.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,384)
Fitness Minutes: (296,463)
Posts: 27,182
3/29/13 1:21 P


If you're walking on a regular basis, that IS a step in the right direction. Pardon the pun. ;)

Exercise isn't just about burning X calories in Y time. The benefits of exercise go beyond what we learned in PE class. Yeah, I remember the torment of having to do the Presidential Fitness Tests. Boy, could I write a book !! But, you know what ? Well, that was high school.

Physical fitness changes when you get to be an adult. There are LOTS of fun things you could do to be a bit more fit. Like I said, exercise isn't just about burning calories. A regular exercise program can help us reduce our risk for cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, diabetes and may be even cancer. Regular exercise can also decrease or reduce symptoms of depression. They didn't tell you those things in PE.

If you find the treadmill boring (I feel like a hamster in a wheel when I'm on one), then you need to try something different. Do you have a gym membership ? If so, take a look at the group exercise class schedule. There are lots of great classes you could take that are not only good exercise, but fun too. try spinning if you enjoy cycling. that's an indoor cycling program. try kick boxing. try pilates. try yoga. try step class. try Body Pump. try boot camp.

If you don't have a gym membership, go to your local library and see what exercise DVDs they have. Libraries are not only great resources for books, but you can borrow DVDs too. try a different DVD workout until you find one you really like.

Do you like martial arts ? sign up for tae kwon do lessons. they have them for kids and adults. take dancing lessons. try a fun class called Zumba. that's a Latin dance based workout. try belly dancing. Do you ride a bike ? Get out your bike and go riding. go hiking. learn how to rock climb. play tennis. play soccer.

It's ALL good. you don't have to hit the treadmill to be fit. there are lots of different things you could do. You could even go play golf. just keep your body moving. Why ? because it's FUN and it keeps your heart healthy.

The fact is, if you want to lose weight and be healthy, you might have to do things you don't like. I don't like hauling my keister up at 5am, but I do it to get in my workout.

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LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,827)
Fitness Minutes: (48,271)
Posts: 2,449
3/29/13 12:54 P


It is my humble opinion, having traveled this road three x's (losing 50lbs twice & regaining, then losing once again w/ Spark) that if you are that miserable, you're doing it wrong!!

I was just done w/ the whole thing and did not want to endure the agony & torture...I, too, toyed w/ just accepting being fat & unfit or perhaps entertaining surgery.

Well guess what: you, too, can do this. I am the biggest preacher of veggies ever now, and I just about loathed them before. And like others have posted, I will NOT eat sad, pathetic, lonely boring "diet" fare. No WAY!! Not one bare carrot stick or celery stalk has passed these lips. If I'm doing celery, it has delicious chunky peanut butter on it. Only now, I use my food scale to measure out a correct portion.

The only scale I use is to weigh food, not myself. I eat a TON and I enjoy it all. Yes, I changed my ways in that I don't eat a Big Mac and a pint or two of Ben & Jerry's in a day anymore. But so what!! I have something MUCH better - the confidence & knowledge that if all these other Spark People can do it, then by God, so can I. Life is tough; it's even tougher when you're heavy.

One of my favorite sayings I learned here: "Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining is hard. Pick your hard." But I have to say, while there will always be some challenges, doing it the right way means far, far less torture. This time around was the absolute easiest and I'm maintaining it as well. The key is NOT to deprive yourself. I have the biggest inner two-yr-old who rears her cranky toddler head if deprived.
She rarely comes around anymore.
Give yourself permission to not be perfect! There is no place for perfection in this journey. That alone is so liberating, and takes a lot of the pressure off.

You just have to put forth the time & effort to find what works best for YOU. I make it a point to drive to the store (sometimes an hr round trip) w/ the best produce as for me, that has been the key to this weight loss thing. It is so worth the effort and expense (I cut back other places). That works for me.

Don't do anything you can't envision doing for the foreseeable maniacal 'dieting' or crazy exercising.

If you don't take the time and effort to explore what works for you, no one else will (or can, for that matter).

Please: I implore you - go through the Woo-Hoo posts & the Success pages. I assure you, there is a large cross section of every kind of person there, and they have all done it. You can, too. There's nothing stopping you except your head.

I wish you nothing but the best.
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3/29/13 12:47 P

PE teachers have no clue how they mess people up. If we didn't run fast enough we would get hit with a large paddle by a woman who likened herself to a racquetball champion. And this was done while they followed us in a van. If I saw her today I would go ask her to wait while I go get a pair of Doc Martens and then stomp her some good ones in the head.

I don't drive, so I get plenty of walking in. I don't mind that. Then I do additional treadmill. But I guess that person below is right. Food is for weight loss and exercise for fitness. I have to do more stretching because I have arthritis of the spine. I hate stretching too. I hate all exercise...... just because I went to a school ran by baboons.

I think I need a break from all food that is tasty so I could just use it as food. I think about maybe going to a place with no convenience stores for a few months and see if that helps because I was raised eating bad things. My dad died from complications of diabetes and my mom had several cancers. I know that we all have to die of something, but they link nearly all death in America to being fat. My parents were both very morbidly obese. My brother now has been two years with heart failure and has done nothing to improve his health.

I need to find something I like doing besides eating............

Edited by: DIETROCKSTAR at: 3/29/2013 (12:50)
CLARK971 SparkPoints: (29,686)
Fitness Minutes: (23,835)
Posts: 827
3/29/13 12:03 P

there are a lot of great recipes on sparks-so you don't have to eat flavorless food to eat healthy. maybe start with small goals. add a few servings of veggies. one of my first goals was to reduce the sugar in my coffee. i didn't stop the sugar and cream all at once. i just reduced sugar from 2 teaspoons to 1, then to 1/2 then to none.

track what you are eating, so you can see where you can start to make small changes.

think baby steps. that way you won't feel overwhelmed.

good luck!

Edited by: CLARK971 at: 4/4/2013 (09:50)
SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
3/29/13 8:54 A


Oh my can I relate! I hated exercise--every part of my being and I do agree your past history can create issues down the road. For me it was my 6th grade PE teacher telling me I would never be a runner. Well 40 years and 80 less pounds later, each day I lace up my shoes I prove her wrong. But the deal with exercise is finding the activity you love to do--not necessarily the one that burns the most calories. If you love what you do, you will continue to do it no matter what.

And the more you do, the more you want to put the best food in your body--I liken healthy living as a health evolution continuum. You take a few small steps and they begin to carry you down the path to healthy living.

Take care!

Coach Nancy

Edited by: SP_COACH_NANCY at: 3/29/2013 (08:55)
SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (250,183)
Fitness Minutes: (41,449)
Posts: 26,957
3/29/13 4:35 A

Getting some exercise IS important, BUT there are many ways that you can get it. Just mobilizing more than you would normally is a great start. If you use a car, then park a wee bit further from where you would normally. If you take a lift or escalators, try taking the stairs for AT LEAST one flight. If you work, have more loo stops and more water cooler stops. Use my "putting groceries and laundry away one at a time" method. It will help with depression getting in some extra exercise, too, and it sounds to me like there could be some of that in there???? (you mention "I guess I could go and get some therapy. But it won't change anything that happened." Well, as someone who has HAD extensive therapy, I can tell you that altho' you are quite right in that it won't change what happened, it can certainly change how you still react to what happened, which can allow you to move forward. I suffered severe depression after a really bad car accident a few years ago, and the sequale to that was shoddy treatment in hospital. I ended up having Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which teaches you to alter your thought processes and rationalize more accurately rather than relating the 'now' to the original issue all the time.

Now the food:

YES food is everywhere, and YES, we DO need to eat, but there is no reason why you can't prepare the bulk of what you eat yourself. That way you can enjoy food with less sodium and less unhealthy fats and sugars. Increasing the quality of your protein to lean meat, skinless chicken, fish and legumes is GREAT (and can taste wonderful) and increasing the fruit/veges is also really good. It is easily done by making tasty casseroles. I make a yummy (skinless) chicken drumstick/apricot casserole which is extended with loads of lentils, onion, red and green capsicum and dried baking apricots and dried dessert apricots. It really is Y_U_M_M_Y, Tonight I had a Lamb/Aubergine Casserole with lots of lentils, Aubergine, Onion, Tomatoes, Garlic, OAT BRAN, and Balsamic Vinegar. I don't use much meat, but it seems like I use more, and it is really tasty.

I bulk cook my casseroles and containerize them into single serves, then freeze them. There are a variety in the freezer so I am never stuck for variety. It is VERY healthy, and also saves a fair bit of money doing it this way, too. I am sure that if you do something like this you will not only enjoy eating healthy, but it might give you the impetus to get going rather than appearing to (sorry for this) look for excuses. I hardly EVERY buy any food from cafes, etc. Even when I am going to eat my lunch away from home, I take my own. That way I KNOW what I am getting - I have total control over what I put into my body!

My obesity never came from poor choices of food or even over-eating in the normal sense. It just turned out that I was one of the unfortunates who gained weight on what most people needed to maintain :-( I was also very active, and have always exercised. The reason I don't do much now is because of skeletal issues - I have arthritis of the spine and hips and scoliosis, so it can make it painful - that is why I do my walks inside my own home, so I am not jolting/jarring my spine and joints.

I went to have a peek at your SparkPage to learn a little more about you, but you don't have one so I couldn't. If you create one you will find that you get loads more support from the SP Members - they will be able to drop by and leave encouraging little messages, and the occasional Goodie. They are always nice to receive :-) It is also a good way of making some really good friends who can help motivate you and help you to feel less down.


3/29/13 3:18 A

Thank you both for replying to my posts. I really appreciate it. Sorry to be such a downer. I am not getting my drugs (food) and it makes me moody.

3/29/13 3:01 A

I guess I got the idea that you have to exercise from sites like this one that ask me what exercise I did today. I know that a lot of my attitude about exercising comes form the jr high and high school I went to and abuse that went on there. Others who went there also don't enjoy exercising. I guess I could go and get some therapy. But it won't change anything that happened.

I think the whole thing about food is that it is worse that a drug. It is everywhere and most of it isn't healthy. If eating healthy and exercising were easy and enjoyable then we would not have this epidemic of obesity. I'm not sure what to do. I am just not sure how I can be successful this time when I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds over the years. But I guess more to the point is now that I am older. There is nothing that I do enjoy.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (250,183)
Fitness Minutes: (41,449)
Posts: 26,957
3/29/13 2:45 A

WHOA!! It sounds like you have a totally unrealistic view of a healthy lifestyle. Where it comes to exercise, find something that you ENJOY!! You don't have to go to a Gym and do hard-out gut-busting stuff. I get the bulk of my exercise in by putting my groceries and laundry away one at a time. It works well, and the beauty is that it not only doesn't seem like work, but it also doesn't seem like exercise.

Now for the nutrition - who said that eating healthy has to be flavourless???? I eat VERY healthy, but I can tell you that it is NOT like that at all. It is about the spices/herbs that you use, and yes, I eat chicken often!

You are the only one who can do this.

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." - Henry Ford

You just have to decide whether you can or you can't, but I put it to you that you CAN if you really want to!


BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
3/29/13 2:42 A

I have lost 26# so far, and I haven't exercised one bit. Now... I am not holding that up as a shining example, I really SHOULD be exercising (and I'll come 'round to dealing with it eventually.. probably). Just making a point that you do not HAVE to exercise like a fiend to lose weight. Exercise is for FITNESS AND HEALTH. What you eat is for weight.

Which brings me to my second point. I *do not* eat "flavourless chicken and vegetables" - ever, ever, everevereverever. I definitely would not be able to make a lasting change if i had to eat unenjoyable, "punishing" foods. The stuff I eat is amazing! I am eating better than I ever did before. Poring over recipe sites and cookbooks, enjoying trips to the produce store, the italian deli... I will NOT eat "low fat string cheese" under any circumstances (just say no to plastic "cheese!"), instead I have asiago, parmesan, stilton with ginger... all full fat. I just eat... half an ounce at a time. Which honestly is more satisfying than a half pound of string cheese, in my opinion.

You can buy more fat pants if you want! But, there really are other options. It IS possible to make it a pleasant even gourmet kind of journey.

3/29/13 2:02 A

I don't like exercising. I take that back. I only like being done exercising. I don't like eating flavorless chicken and vegetables. Should I just go buy some more fat pants?

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