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JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (577,795)
Fitness Minutes: (349,967)
Posts: 16,355
9/28/13 12:04 A

Just be friends and move forward if you are not comfortable with him.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,529
9/27/13 4:18 P

Look at it this way. At least he is honest with you and is telling you that he just wants to have fun. And you can be honest with him and say, I am looking for more than that in a relationship.

We will just be friends unless you change your mind (which he probably wont) and I will keep my options open

I dated a guy once and he strung me along. He knew he wasn't interested in marriage and never told me. So I wasted a year and a half on him. It turns out that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I haven't found another but being single is better than being with him

Remember when God closes a door, you had better not go around and try to find a window

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 9/27/2013 (16:20)
AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
9/27/13 3:55 P

So a man can't hold your hand unless he commits to marriage?

Why do you refer to yourself as a girl? Aren't you in your 40s?

My thought is that if holding someone's hand counts as a "regret," then you are not doing very much real living.

KRICKET57 SparkPoints: (256,173)
Fitness Minutes: (258,669)
Posts: 2,515
9/27/13 8:34 A

I have to agree with the other comments, if you do not tell him you don't want him to touch you, he will not understand. If you want to be friends with him, sit down and talk to him. Explain why you are uncomfortable and why you gave him the cold shoulder. If you do not want to be friends, you still should explain why to him.

TRYINGTOLOSE64 Posts: 93,051
9/27/13 6:46 A

I agree with what Archimedesii said and will add that's he's probably giving you the cold shoulder because that's what you are giving him. Afterall I can guarantee that he's not a mind reader, so he has no idea what he did wrong because you didn't express yourself.

Edited by: TRYINGTOLOSE64 at: 9/27/2013 (06:49)
ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,705)
Fitness Minutes: (296,898)
Posts: 27,213
9/27/13 6:03 A


I don't know anything about the social standards of dating in Malaysia. I know that in the US, it's not unusual for couples to hold hands or have the guy put his arm around the girl in public. It's considered a sign of affection here. Women aren't considered cheap if they let a man hold their hand.

These days, I've noticed very few couples holding hands. Back in the day, that was a sign of affection. Times and social standards changed. They are also different across cultural lines too. So, what may seem innocent here may not be so innocent in Malaysia.

Did you tell this man that you felt his actions were inappropriate ? If you didn't tell him to stop, then of course he'll assume that you condone his actions. If you didn't want him to hold your hand or put his arm around your shoulders, you should have said,"please don't do that".

If you told him to stop and he didn't, then yes, you should stop seeing this man since he doesn't seem to care about your feelings. No, you are not cheap because a man held your hand.

EOWYN2424 Posts: 9,108
9/27/13 5:43 A

I went out with him twice and now I regret it! We are both dialysis patients in the same shift at the same center. He has made it clear that he is not interested in marriage yet during both outings he held my hand and put his arm around my shoulder several times!

Huh? He's not interested in a serious relationship but he still wants to do couple things like that? Well, I don't appreciate being used! So I avoided his calls and stopped going out with him but I am still civil to him, no reason we still can't be friends but he is now giving me the cold shoulder.

Does he think that I'm so cheap that I will let him touch me with no commitment? I'm so mad at him!

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