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PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/14/12 10:54 A

disappointed in myself.

In one of the spark emails I received last week, there was an offer for a free week at Curves. I figured what the heck and signed up for a class today at 9am because I had a rare day off. Last night I set my alarm for 7:30 and this morning I woke up to it. Drank a coffee, walked the dogs, got dressed, and headed over to the Curves across town. Then nothing.

I arrived and saw a parking lot full of cars. My anxiety flared up and I sat in my car for 5 minutes telling myself that I would be fine. These people are here to lose weight and would not judge me. Then I started wondering if I had signed up for a workout class like I thought or if maybe I had signed up for a "weekly meeting" where I would be expected to weight in and talk about my feelings about my weight. I had no idea what to expect when I walked in.

Two minutes before nine, I put my key back in the ignition and drove back home.

I chickened out of what could have been a really good opportunity. I could have met new weight-loss buddies who would help me on my way. Could have benefited from trying something new.

And now my boyfriend has called a couple of times, to see how it went I'm sure, but I keep ignoring the call because I don't want to admit my failure to him. When he asks why I didn't go what will I say? I don't like new things and can never follow through on anything. That's what I'll tell him if I want to tell him the truth.

PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/13/12 7:43 A


I stuck to the salad bar and who knew the Chinese buffet had fresh orange slices? I ate about a whole orange and some white rice with soy sauce. I allowed myself one of the tiny square desserts they offer and had one bite of my boyfriend's slice of pizza just so I wouldn't want to grab one of my own.

Oh and I didn't go to the gym.

And guess what! I lost 0.2 this morning! I lost weight after going to a buffet the night before! It's such an "I can really do this!" kind of realization. I'm so happy.


PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/12/12 1:30 P

anxious and nervous.

Tonight is my boyfriend's mom's birthday and she wants to go out for a Chinese buffet. I don't like Chinese food so I usually stick to the pizza and french fries that they put out for people like me. That and those Chinese donuts: the fried dough balls that are covered in sugar. Oh, and the dessert table in general.

But now I can't. Nor do I want to eat like that.

I've told myself that I will stick to the salad bar and away from the carb-loaded and sugar coated treats.

But will it happen? I think I will be ok tonight but when it's put in your face it's an entirely different situation.

Wish me luck!


SPARKFRAN514 Posts: 51,795
3/10/12 8:40 P

emoticon emoticon
excited Proud

Changed the resistance on the Elliptical today to 35 and incline 16 and managed 45 min before i had to lower the resistance to 25 for the 10 min then to 10 for resistance for a five min cool down have burned that many calories in a ride for a while 425 cal/ not very many miles 2.0 but with the change in the setting the trainer who is there to help any one with a question told it was good for my first day at those settings. did few cool down work outs and felt great. home and did not graze but ate my planned snack !!! have been having problems just limiting myself that snack i want and some times eat more so will give my self a star today for that and one for getting my water in and now when i have my tea it will be extra water woohoo feeling better about my journey today after stumbling on Friday with my eating over my calorie count for the day. emoticon

Edited by: SPARKFRAN514 at: 3/10/2012 (20:43)
PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/10/12 6:16 P


I just finished supper and I still have 300 calories for the day which is super exciting for two reasons.

Reason one: It's the weekend and I usually do HORRIBLE on the weekends. With no structure I don't know how to control myself but every Saturday and Sunday that come around, I get a little better. I was starting to dread the weekends which is just plain awful. Now I can love them again!

Reason two: I'm going to the movies tonight and I know my boyfriend is going to buy popcorn which I will be able to indulge in (a little)! I'm not going to stuff my face but knowing that I can have some is so awesome. You really don't have to tell yourself no to treats if you just moderate. I used to think that moderation was a load of manure but it is true. Make room for special occasions (we go to the movies maybe two-three times a year) and you don't have to be thrown off of your healthy train. Popcorn, here I come!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/9/12 9:33 P

torn and confused.

I am under my recommended calories by about 100. I wouldn't worry about it except my minimum is 1200 which puts me around 1100 for the day which is not healthy. I just finished tracking everything and realized this. Now what is better: eat a small snack (banana and a glass of milk) when I'm not hungry or leave it be and eat too little for the day?

It goes against everything I've learned/ been practicing to eat when you are not hungry but I just don't want this to have adverse affects tomorrow morning on the scale. I did go to the gym today so I don't want my body thinking I'm starving it, I just had a busy day and ate well when I did stop to eat.

It's 9:30 pm. I'll be headed to bed by 11. I just don't know what to do.

HAPPYFRAN Posts: 204
3/9/12 8:36 A

work till 2:00, go pay bills, go swimming, home to make dinner and then netflix tonite. Motivation.....YES

PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/9/12 6:52 A

agreeing with TRYINGHARD54 100%. emoticon

TRYINGHARD54 Posts: 5,292
3/9/12 5:38 A

glad its Friday

PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/8/12 7:17 P


It's my off day from the gym (3 on, 1 off) and I feel like I don't deserve to eat.

I slightly over ate at supper (barbecue!) and have no way of counteracting my indulgence. I know the scale tomorrow is going to show a small gain and it's beating me up. I'm exhausted, I do really need the day off to let my body recoup but I just want to go workout until the gym closes.

I've worked so hard to lose the weight I've lost and I haven't seen 135 in over a year! So how do I reward myself? By eating too much on a day where I can not level it out with a workout.

I walked my dogs before supper but even that was a strain on my legs. Now it's cold and dark out and I just want to curl up and never face the world again. I know that I'm doing things right. I know that I'm getting healthier from the inside out. I know that one day isn't going to kill me. I just don't like letting myself down and that is what I did today.

Now I have two hours until bed and I am hungry...

PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/5/12 8:02 P


At this morning's weigh-in I was shocked at the 0.4 gain. I started thinking about how well I ate yesterday and how "hungry" I was last night but did nothing about it because it was past 8pm and with a bed time of around 9pm you really can't afford to eat that late. I should have lost or at the very least, not gained!

So of course this morning I was feeling defeated and what does that make me want to do? Eat. I ate my normal granola bar and drank my usual cup of coffee but that was just not enough to satisfy my hurt feelings that the scale left with me. I wanted more, I "needed" more. As I went to go raid the cupboards, thinking there was no point in trying to eat healthy when it doesn't do any good anyway, I stopped for a moment and told myself to stop. I grabbed a banana and continued getting ready for work.

I don't know how but I let myself know that this was not a set back. Bodies do weird things sometimes. You could be doing everything right but see no (or disappointing) results on the scale. I told myself to not ruin everything I was working so hard to achieve. After eating my banana I went to work feeling satisfied and ready for the day.

At lunch, I ate an apple, a yogurt, and I discovered that scrambled eggs are not just for breakfast! And two scrambled eggs don't even set me back 200 calories! Back to work I went.

When I got out of work, there my workout clothes were, sitting on the bed, calling to me. Just putting them on makes me feel good (my butt looks so nice in my new yoga pants!). Off to the gym I went. It was crowded and humid and my iPod had died. Yet nothing was stopping me. 45 minutes later, it was supper time.

Taco salad (without the taco, I'm not a fan of tacos but the mix of everything else is amazing). Piling lettuce up until I could not see the bottom of the plate. A portion of ground beef. Lots of tomatoes and black olives. Sprinkle of cheese. My dinner (that was oh so filling and delicious) cost me less than 500 calories.

Now as night approaches, I feel the "hunger" pains a coming. Log on to Spark People and see that I still have 100-300 calories in my allotment for the day. Banana it is. What better dessert than fresh fruit. Naturally sweet. Already comes in it's own serving size. Good for my insides.


That one realization this morning. That one pause. That one moment it took to tell myself that "Yes, yes I can do this". That was all I needed to make good decisions all day long. How amazing a feeling that is. This is do-able. This is possible. This is going to happen.

I'm going to make it happen.

Edited by: PEANUT883 at: 3/5/2012 (20:04)
BEE4357 SparkPoints: (10,551)
Fitness Minutes: (11,906)
Posts: 97
3/4/12 6:24 P

emoticon emoticon

CHARLY-G SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (175)
Posts: 20
3/4/12 12:38 P

I am very new at this but I got on here thinking I was going to change everything that was making me miserable. Only thing is I'm discovering trying to be "perfect at everything" leads me to total failure!!!! Concentrate on what you did "right" like the elliptical, WooHoo, and not 100 calories. Don't give up!

JIBBIE49 Posts: 72,596
3/4/12 11:45 A


3/4/12 11:31 A

Woah! You can't expect to lose weight eating at that unhealthy level. You must consume 1200 or more calories or your body is going to hold that fat hostage because it will think your about to starve. I am losing about 2 pounds a week eating between 1300 and 1400. Try it out, eat right and exercise. You can do it, and you can do it the right way!

It seems like you think that the calorie amount that sparkpeople is giving you is your maintenance calories, no those calories are geared towards weight LOSS. You wouldn't gain weight until you hit welllll above that.

Edited by: DESIREEMOORE at: 3/4/2012 (11:33)
PEANUT883 Posts: 32
3/3/12 10:55 P

Upset with no reason. emoticon

I am supposed to eat between 1200 - 1500 calories a day. Today, I have clocked in around 1300 and I'm freaking out. I've been around 1100-1200 since I started on this website (2 weeks ago) except for a mess up day or two (around 3000) and I just feel as though that extra 100 calories I ate (over the MINIMUM that is recommended) is going to make the scale jump tomorrow morning.

I went to the gym and did the elliptical emoticon for 30 minutes earlier which is more than enough to level me out but I feel as though I am on the edge of a panic attack because I am so tired of the scale's (seemingly unjust) readings.

I'm just tired of being fat. I know restricting myself is worse for me than eating my recommended calories but thinking about the scale not moving tomorrow or worse, increasing, gives me a headache.

Stress makes you lose weight right? Because I have plenty of that. emoticon

Edited by: PEANUT883 at: 3/3/2012 (22:56)
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