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EVOLVINGONE SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (327)
Posts: 10
10/19/12 1:42 P

For myself, I've had to learn that I (as in 'me, myself, and I') need to be my best support system. I've struggled with my weight for decades...and lived in denial about it...blamed it on baby fat after my babies were born (they're 32, 29 and 27 now; that's no longer working for me, obviously!)...blamed it on my personal relationships and stress.

The truth of the matter is that I am the only one who is in control of what goes into my mouth, how much my body moves, and the 'self-talk' that I receive.

This week, I'm going to concentrate more on my 'self-talk' being loving, instead of self-defeating.

BRITOMART Posts: 8,305
10/19/12 12:11 P

Good post--especially the end. NO one can be a 100% supporter (that's God, I think) but if a person learns to ignore unhelpful comments WHILE keeping an ear open for valuable but unwelcome insights, she's on target, imo.

After all, support isn't always hearing what we want to hear, but listening to what we need to hear. The best friends are honest as well as supportive.

Edited by: BRITOMART at: 10/19/2012 (12:12)
CMCOLE Posts: 2,667
10/19/12 8:21 A

Good for you for evaluating your situation and needs.
I'm sure others will benefit from your words of wisdom

10/19/12 8:16 A

Wow, what an interesting, thought-provoking post. Thank you for posting such a concise statement regarding support/non-support from others.

Best of success to you.

NONA-UK Posts: 245
10/19/12 5:49 A

I struggled with weight loss for several years and finally it's working for me due to changes in my personal situation that have removed some of the overeating triggers for me. But I've found it interesting to sit back and look at the reactions of those around me. While everyone is on the surface supportive, sometimes even those people can do things that could sabotage your efforts if you let them. But the more I resist those things, the easier it gets for next time, so I'd say as well as looking at yourself, look at those around you and how you respond to them. It's no good blaming other people for your weight...but it's not always easy.

Those who help
Find yourself someone who can genuinely support you and give good advice, it makes a world of difference! I've recently met up again with an old friend from 10 years ago who couldn't disguise his reaction to how I look now. He was shocked. He, in turn, looks better than he did 10 years ago as he made a lot of good lifestyle changes. We talked about it for a while and he asked some very pointed questions (he always could get away with being quite blunt with me, it's not so much what you say as how you say it, and he has good intentions), and then discussed his changes with me, and gave me some good advice. I've now got someone who'll support me 100% and help me when things get tough, and also get tough with me when need be but in a nice way. He really wants to help me sort myself out and it feels good, and it's also a help in that I feel 'accountable' to someone else now.

Those who hinder
Even those who want you to succeed can be less than helpful sometimes. You just have to learn to ignore those things. Then there are those who want you to succeed but are a bit jealous/daunted when you do and they don't. My example of that is two ladies at work. They are lovely, but have also put on a lot of weight, and moan about that a lot. We all used to moan together. They say they are eating healthily and trying but really they are not. They bring in a lot of food to share round the office, sometimes healthy, sometimes not, and they are both strong characters who do not like to take no for an answer. But i've learned to say no to them now and they have backed off and stopped trying so hard to get me to eat what I don't actually want. Example - they had a big pizza delivered the other day in the middle of the afternoon and offered me a slice, this time a simple 'no, thank you' worked, whereas before they would have kept going on about it. The whole office has a delivery of pastries and stuff for lunch once a week during a meeting, paid for by the boss, everyone else dives in, I don't. But every week people are trying to push them on me. I don't even want to eat them - they are not stuff I particularly like so it's no treat for me - but I think people feel strange eating when someone else isn't. They even complain that I'm making them feel guilty. That's their issue though, not mine.

So find yourself a 100% supporter.
And learn to ignore any pressure from those who are getting in the way of your weight loss, even if they mean well, even if they are friends, even if they are nice people. That 'just one won't hurt' atttitude is about them, and is not to help you, and it gets in your way.

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