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8/8/13 10:39 A

Great responses, all. However, I need to rethink how to phrase my original query because I can see by the responses I'm getting that I screwed up the essence of what I originally said.
Thanks! Great advice and observations by everyone for the differences between men & women and what they're looking for in a mate.

....back to the verbal drawing, not ALL my threads work out.

LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,135)
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8/8/13 10:26 A

I think what people see as 'standards' might be more about how the first impressions go when you meet someone. For example, if I see a really physically attractive guy being a complete a$$ and making a fool of himself, he immediately becomes less or not attractive to me. On the converse case, my BF actually first approached me when I was all sweaty and gross after a work out (we fenced at the same club so he was sweaty and icky too) but his conversation skills got to me and we ended up going out (still are emoticon ).

At the end of the day we're all looking for someone to share the journey with, either for a short while or for life. That person may come in an unexpected package.

REBCCA SparkPoints: (416,542)
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8/8/13 9:34 A

IMHO I see men as yang and women as yin. Two sides of a harmonious circle. Men tend to think in headlines and women in details. Men seem to think more linear and women more laterally. I do not feel like standards are gender specific in choosing a relationship partner. emoticon

8/8/13 9:32 A

Not easy to analyse what people find attractive. But what I DO know is that it is a matter of taste and a culmination of attitudes, growth and incidents, environment, upbringing etc from childhood right through to adulthood.
Thank goodness taste varies. My sister's perfect guy leaves me cold, except as a brother in law. My best friend's perfect guy makes me break out in hives. My perfect guy has my sister and my best friend running for the hills.
It is all relative. Taste overlaps sometimes, I know.
Not being picked does not mean that the object of affection is being picky. It just means that that person would be someone else's dream guy/girl.
Sometimes, opinions can be swayed by polite gentlemanly persistence. Girls are more prone to change their minds though.
My opinion.

TACDGB Posts: 6,136
8/7/13 9:55 P

I also believe that it's about what is on the inside that matters............

TACDGB Posts: 6,136
8/7/13 9:53 P

I think it depends on what the person is looking for in a partner. I have seen a well dressed man with his wife and she is wearing stained sweat pants, sweat shirt and hair uncombed. And she is 50 lbs. over weight and he is in great shape. I've also seen the drop dead gorgeous woman with the guy who isn't so great looking. I think some people have high standards, some people don't and some people just settle for what they get.

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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8/7/13 5:23 P


Could it be that men think with the wrong head at first sight of a woman!

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (252,096)
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8/7/13 1:31 P

it also depends on what you mean by 'relationship'
are we talking about scratching an itch, or actually spending time with someone?

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (252,096)
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8/7/13 1:15 P

depends on the person & usually depends on their age.

I've never been fixated on looks. Actually, I don't usually find a person really attractive until I know them. As far as the money, I'd rather be self-sufficient. I know I'll ALWAYS have *me*!

I do think that as people mature, substance becomes much more important than what is on the surface.

And some people just get tired of the games. There are LOTS worse things in the world than being alone.

8/6/13 7:02 P

I should have left out the "generalization" in my question but I was hoping that it was understood that the preface to the question was enough to so that it wasn't received as hard and resolute, it was suppose to be received as an observation.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,484
8/6/13 6:50 P

I like to think of the differences like
SHALLOW HAL (the movie with Jack Black/Gywneth Paltrow )
YOU'VE GOT MAIL (Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan)

Or as Shrek would put it: ...
Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers.
You get it? We both have layers. "

and you can shed a lot of tears while you're chopping up the onion layers.

ICEDEMETER Posts: 1,332
8/6/13 6:18 P

Gotta strongly disagree with this premise, even as an extremely broad generalization. If anything, I'd see it as the opposite.

Seriously, do you have any idea just how many women stay with a man on the premise that they can "fix" him? Yet, there are very few men who will walk in to a relationship with that idea (the few generally suffering from some version of "White Knight Syndrome").

"Standards" are such a personal thing, and vary throughout life. What was perfectly acceptable to me in my 20's would not be tolerated now, and yet some attitudes that I shunned back then are just fine now. Priorities shift between looks, accomplishments, personality, compatibility, and so many other things as you hit different stages in life.

The one generalization that I would feel comfortable with is that those of either gender with the highest "standards" (the 5-page, single space, "Must Have" list) tend to be the ones who are single the longest...

GOALWTIN7 SparkPoints: (2,121)
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8/6/13 5:28 P

Don't like generalizations. I do think though that people get the best they are able to attract. A good looking rich guy will have a very good looking woman by his side that may be also accomplished. A young woman with a good body and pretty face who has self esteem will pick a man going places in life and can earn a very good living. This is not saying that don't like these people who they are as people, they do. It's just that you can like many different people on the inside so the accouterments of what they have and look like does come into play.

LAURIEANDBLUE2K SparkPoints: (57,143)
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8/6/13 5:16 P

I disagree, I think men have a higher standard as far as looks and body go when starting a relationship. I believe women look at more than just appearances. (sense of humor, kindness etc)

CHEETARA79 Posts: 3,944
8/6/13 5:15 P

Nope. My husband chose me so he must have the highest of standards. emoticon emoticon

8/6/13 4:50 P

It seems to me that women have a higher standard than men do (typically) when choosing someone to start to have a relationship with.

Women; do you find this to be true?

Any thoughts?

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