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MRSWILKI SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (6,295)
Posts: 136
11/30/11 10:33 A

I don't know your Grandma so I'm going to assume the best of her.
Probably she is concerned about your health, and feels that money would be a great motivator to get you healthier. Relatives can do hurtful things unknowingly or with good intentions. Especially if she has never had a weight problem she probably thinks this is a very generous offer (after all 1000 is a lot of money and she might not realize how difficult it is to lose 40 pounds).

You have to lose the weight when YOU are ready, otherwise it will never stick. However, if you are ready anyway you could get support from her. Maybe talk to her and explain that you don't like being bribed, that is insulting or hurts your feelings or whatever it is that you feel right now. But tell her that you do want to become healthier, and maybe she could instead help you get on the right track. If she was willing to hand you 1k, maybe she would be willing to help you pay for a gym membership, or a personal trainer, or some new workout clothes, or some cook books or something. Tell her that helping you get the tools you need to lose the 40 pounds will help you out much more than just giving you money at the end. Explain that it is a difficult (but doable) task and you need family support.

ROOSTER72 SparkPoints: (26,758)
Fitness Minutes: (24,072)
Posts: 568
11/29/11 9:48 P

Do you really want to lose weight?

If so, I would say 'Great - I'll donate it to [insert favourite charity name here - maybe something health related?]. Afterall, I want to lose weight for myself - but if I can help someone else on their health journey that would be terrific.

ASHAIXIM Posts: 2,616
11/29/11 2:20 P

Give her my number! LOL ;)

It's really dependent on why and how she's "bribing" you.

Is it a "disguised" insult? Is it done out of love? Is she helping to support and motivate you (in her mind)?

Personally I would love to get $1K for losing 40lbs!! But really it's why she's doing it that would influence my advice on what to do... also what your weight is because if 40 lbs is more than you SHOULD lose of course that's bad too...

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,705)
Fitness Minutes: (296,898)
Posts: 27,213
11/29/11 1:18 P

ECO... thank your grandmother for their kind offer, but let her know you're refusing because you'd rather lose weight in a healthy manner.

My aunt made a very similar offer to me when I was in high school. Told me that if I could lose 25 pounds by Christmas, she would buy me a set of skis and boots. Sounds like a great offer, doesn't it ? Just lose 25 pounds and get a pair of skis. Needless to say, I took her up on her offer.

Back then, I didn't know anything about how to lose weight in a healthy fashion. What did I do ? Stupid things like any other teenager. I starved myself and yes, I lost weight. BUT... I didn't lose 25 pounds. I think I lost 20. anyway... not good enough. so, I didn't get the skis. AND my family proceeded to tell me that had I really "wanted" those skis, I would have lost the weight. They felt I didn't work hard enough. Can't even tell you how that made me feel. All my cousins had skis and I was the poor, fat relation.

I won't say that was the incident that put my on the weight loss roller coaster, but it certainly kept me on it a while longer.

No, you do not need a bribe to be healthy. You can do this on your on !!

LIMONADE34 Posts: 925
11/29/11 12:47 P

I am sorry to hear you are getting pressured by your family to lose weight. I agree that you should sit down with your grandmother and explain to her that bribing and nagging you to lose weight isn't going to make it suddenly happen, and is in fact detrimental to your efforts. You should be making changes for yourself, not for some old bat with nothing better to do than badger her grandchild.

It may be difficult for you to get the message across to her, but try your best to ignore her and don't let it get to you if she continues to harass you about it. Talk to a friend, go for a walk, or get on Spark when you feel like you need support! Walk out of the room as soon as she opens her mouth if need be; you leaving isn't rude, but her haranguing you is.

Stay strong and come here for support when you need it! emoticon

YELLOWDAHLIA SparkPoints: (94,861)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 13,413
11/29/11 9:27 A

Wow- cool!
My grandma offered me $100 dollars to lose 100 lbs (when I was 12 years old- that was 36 years ago)...I did it. Didn't keep it off for very long though.

BRITOMART Posts: 8,260
11/29/11 9:20 A

Ignore the 'bribe' as you call it, lose the weight. If she wants to give you a 'present' after you've lost what you wanted to lose anyway, it's serendipity, and not control. She can't pay you to lose weight (something my company's insurance company hasn't gotten figured out yet by the way) but if she wants to give you money, use it as an extra, spontaneous costs-me-nothing reward.

You have to do the work, and that means finding your own motivation. Everything else is, ultimately, distraction--or excuse. Don't let your grandmother become either, especially don't let her become your excuse for not losing.

KARATE_KID SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,005)
Posts: 1,546
11/29/11 8:28 A

Sounds like your grandma means well. You could explain to her that you've got to do this for yourself, not anybody else, in order to succeed.

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
11/29/11 8:26 A


You are in control of your own life. If you are not ready to lose the weight, I would sit down with your Grandma and tell her you appreciate her concern, but you need to lose the weight when you are ready to lose the weight, even if she rescinds her offer.

Below are some links to a few SparkPeople articles that may help you on your journey.

I wish you well!
Coach Nancy

LINDY2202 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (12,386)
Posts: 332
11/29/11 4:50 A

I am not sure the problem here, please elaborate.

ECO_SAVVY Posts: 492
11/29/11 2:54 A

My Grandma offered me 1,000 dollars to lose 40 pounds. I can't handle the bribes anymore. How am I supposed to handle someone trying to bribe me like this?

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