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LOLEMA SparkPoints: (105,894)
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Posts: 5,169
10/27/13 9:15 A

Action is required! Speaking as a now 54 year old adult who experienced this on more than one occasion as a young woman in the business world. I was so shy, quiet and didn't want to cause any waves - THE WRONG THING TO DO! If I could go back it would be so different!
It is wrong and should not be tolerated.
Regardless of what others think, regardless of who owns the company it needs to be brought to a supervisor, owner attention!

ANARIE Posts: 13,192
10/26/13 11:47 P

You didn't do anything wrong. However, the company is in a very, very dangerous situation right now. They need to hire an HR legal specialist ASAP, because they are flirting with serious violations of both harassment AND whistle-blower laws. It doesn't matter how tiny the company is; they're going to have to act and do some training and write up policies. They are incredibly LUCKY that this happened to you and not to someone else who isn't a relative of a company owner, because if an employee in your situation sued, it would probably bankrupt the company. I don't know how you can go about getting that info to the owners-- probably the best way is through your sister. (Or your husband if this is his brother.)

It's illegal for a company to allow someone to harass you. They did the right thing legally by getting rid of that temp. However, it's also illegal for them to allow you to be harassed for telling. They need to get that stopped, and probably the best way is by making ALL employees take training in what a whistle-blower is and how and why they are legally protected. Most companies actually provide that training automatically, every year or two, instead of waiting until something happens. Since something did happen, they'll probably have to have an expensive workshop, but in the future they can do it online for a few dollars per employee.

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (577,408)
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Posts: 16,341
10/26/13 11:41 P

You don't have to put up with it. Report it, and if that doesn't work, file a police report.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/26/13 11:13 P

Don't quit your job over this you said you make good money and why should you quit a good paying job over this you did NOTHING wrong... You did the right thing and this supervisor needs to get warned and if he keeps it up he needs to get written up and then fired if he keeps this up.
So what your brother in law is one of the owners, he'd of done the same thing even if you weren't his sister in law, he'd of done the right thing to and called the temp agency and gotten rid of that low life. You don't go to work to be sexually harrassed and as for the bullying your getting at work if it gets worse then you go back to your brother in law, but why should you quit a good paying job when you did nothing wrong.
These other people are just bullies, I bet they wouldn't of tolerated anyone sexually harrassing them , but because your brother in law works there they are bullying you now? nooooooooo don't put up with this and don't quit you were in the right! emoticon
The way the economy is now hold on to your job, these people aren't worth it!

Edited by: FENWAYGIRL18 at: 10/26/2013 (23:15)
SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (250,566)
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10/26/13 5:27 P

I feel for you being in that situation. Please know that YOU did nothing wrong. You actually did the right thing.

Any employer has the obligation to ensure that the work environment is safe, and that includes from sexual harassment. In NZ the firms that employ a number of people are supposed to have a formal policy on procedures for this, and I don't know if it is in law or not, but I know that at least a couple big employers have a designated staff member to act as the 'go to' for this sort of thing. They also have the policies for this on the message boards in the staff room and a couple other places.

It sounds to me like the firm you work for may not have a formal policy, OR if they do, it isn't known by the staff. Perhaps it is time to suggest that a policy be created as well as procedures to protect others in the future. Do you have a large lunch-room? Perhaps you could request that all supervisors/employers and the staff have a meeting about this (not about YOUR specific case) so that it is all in the open and no assumptions to be made.

Good luck,

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,661)
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Posts: 27,204
10/26/13 3:31 P

Hi, Angie !

You did the right thing to go to your supervisor. Unfortunately, it seems as if your supervisor might be as bad as the temp when it comes to sexual harassment or just plain old harassment. You went to him with a professional issue and he gossiped about it. That was extremely unprofessional and he deserved to be reprimanded. The fact is, he's acting like a spoiled child. What will he do ? If he's smart, he'll let it go. But, if he's the jerk that I think he might be, he may make your life miserable by continuing to spread gossip. If so, you've got to put a stop to it immediately.

Let HIS supervisor as well as your brother in law know that he's creating a toxic environment for you. You have every right to be treated like a professional. You didn't do anything wrong. You did the right thing.

Don't your co-workers know that the temp was sexually harassing you ? If they think you should have just shrugged it off, what sort of people are these friends and co-workers of yours. I would really think twice about confiding in any of them because they have just proven they aren't your friends. Friends DO NOT turn their back on someone.

Definitely keep in touch with the upper management. Let them know what's going on. I appreciate that times are tough, but that temps behavior was out of line and he should have been fired.

For now, be professional and act professionally. I hope this will blow over. If not, you have have to consider talking to a lawyer. that's just outrageous behavior not only by your supervisor, but your co-workers too. It means, you can't trust any of them. You're going to have to be careful what you say.

REBCCA SparkPoints: (412,653)
Fitness Minutes: (216,100)
Posts: 22,798
10/26/13 3:24 P

Hello Anelakanoa,

I am sorry for this issue. If I was in your situation I would take this as an opportunity to practice detachment from others who are seeming to treat me with less than friendliness. I would refer and work on integrating Miguel Ruiz 4 agreements:
The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

ETHELMERZ Posts: 20,262
10/26/13 2:57 P

Lawyer, not a weight loss web site...........

ANELAKANOA Posts: 4,221
10/26/13 2:23 P

Okay so I've been at my job 8 years, and my brother in laws one of the owners of the company. Anyway last week Friday I had to work with a temp who had only been there 3 days. The plant manager was on vacation until Tuesday so only the supervisors were there (not including the owners that work in the corporate building). Anyway this guy was making sexual comments to me, talking very dirty and didn't stop after I told him to twice. Finally I felt so uncomfortable I went to my direct supervisor to have him moved. I didn't want to go to him though because he doesn't like and has a tendency to gossip but I had no choice. I had to get that guy away from me. My supervisor moved the guy but after work I was still shaken up by this, I didn't want to wait for the plant manager to get back Tuesday so I went to my brother in law. My brother in law called the temp agency and got rid of the guy immediately.

So now this past week has been hell for me at work. On Monday I didn't come in to work because I was sick and on Tuesday when I came in I had 3 different people come up to me saying people in my department were talking bad about me. Saying I have the power to get people fired, that poor guy, its a factory and I need to get tough skin, I had to go tattle to my brother in law, etc.....All over a temp who only worked there 3 days.

The supervisor upstairs came down to tell me he was going to talk to the owners of the company because it's wrong what people are saying and they need to be reprimanded for it. I guess one of the people talking bad about me was my own supervisor (from what I heard) so the other supervisor felt very bad about this. So on Wednesday the other owner wanted to talk to me. I told him no one was saying anything to my face but they could be saying it behind my back. I told him I was thinking about quitting (it's that bad).

So he decided to call an emergency upper management meeting Thursday where from what I heard my supervisor got talked to. Now the situation is even worse. Now no one in my department is talking to me, it seems like people are afraid of me. It is very uncomfortable.

I don't know what to do?? I make really good money, been there 8 years and thought I built some work friendships with people. I never have tattled to upper management about anything in 8 years (well only one time when my check was accidentally opened by my supervisor a couple years after I started). What should I do??

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