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CIVIAV SparkPoints: (66,367)
Fitness Minutes: (55,330)
Posts: 3,730
12/10/11 10:29 A

I think this is one area of life where you need to work at learning what a spiritual soul mate looks like. Then it isn't about how good things are or not. You stay in the relationship for the long haul, good or bad, sick or healthy -like the vows most of us might take when we want to formalize things. There are so many life issues that can have us want to end a relationship but that's not what makes the relationship. It's not the daily stuff but how your life lessons tie together and whether you are responsible for the relationship as well as yourself. Hmmmmm, interesting to think about...

MARIJO150 Posts: 340
12/10/11 10:24 A

@ TMW54812, I think you are right on the money, everyone can't be at 100% of their game every day, things happen in life and I know that my husband is gonna step up and put in 90% if I need him too and I would and have done the same for him.

In May I will have been married for 20 years, we've made it through military deployments, hard financial times (more than once), family disputes, loss of loved ones, bouts of depression, etc and let me tell you when one of us is low the other really has to pick up the slack, telling the other to "buck up" would not be demonstrating love. Both people in a relationship have to demonstrate love in order for it to work in the long run.

DWROBERGE Posts: 374,074
12/10/11 12:41 A


JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (599,506)
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Posts: 17,075
12/10/11 12:21 A

The best relationship advise is to be true to yourself and to find a person who is not exactly like you, but has your same values. Always, always be faithful to each other and worship together.

AMYNYNJ SparkPoints: (66,187)
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Posts: 1,130
12/9/11 11:03 P

Don't discount the "nerd", the "geeky guy" or "the nice guy" they make the best friends and husbands.

LAKERSKB24 Posts: 329
12/9/11 10:16 P

Wow wow WOW at the responses.
Thank you to EVERYONE that responded. This has helped so incredibly much.
Keep them coming if possible. I was actually worried about posting the question because I didn't know if it seemed too silly, but I was way wrong!

GRATEFULBOB Posts: 2,756
12/9/11 8:47 P

you should be able to talk about everything that is on your mind no matter what it is and be able to discuss it without getting into a fight

TACDGB Posts: 6,136
12/9/11 8:43 P

be honest and live your life like an open book. If you hide nothing you have nothing to hide. Always be yourself around that other person. Be loving and caring. Give your 100% and expect no less.

MIAMI_LILLY SparkPoints: (203,575)
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Posts: 10,171
12/9/11 8:41 P

LoL...I learned in a college course "Marriage in the Lord" it's always 100/100. Each partner must give it their all to work. After 19 years of marriage, I think it was great advice.

Also know you can't change anybody. Know what you want, and understand that your partner isn't going to change their qualities or personality to suit you. Be who you are, and let your partner do the same.

TENNISJIM Posts: 11,750
12/9/11 8:40 P

Acceptance and learn to be patient and compassionate

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 26,791
12/9/11 8:35 P

Actually TMW54812, I think that both people need to give 100%, total commitment to the relationship! Partially in doesn't cut it... IMHO.

(who has been with her best friend since 1974)

TMW54812 SparkPoints: (130,415)
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Posts: 1,594
12/9/11 8:00 P

No such thing as 50/50....sometimes it's 90/10, sometimes 10/90, a good relationship, each partner must willing to do more than "their share" when called upon.

Married to my best friend 40 years!

SWEETSUGAR7 Posts: 2,450
12/9/11 6:47 P

Be yourself
Tell the person up front what your goals and future plans are. If they are not close to what other person is looking forward to or plans you make want to reconsider meeting other people.
If you cannot tell the person everything (reasonably) there is some things that don't need to be said. I think if you can talk to someone as a friend and laugh together that is great.
If your bonking heads find out why? If it is something you cannot live with then move on.
You need to find someone that is good with money and does not over spend or have debts. In the future that might not be so good. If they are doing something about and really getting somewhere and not showing signs of doing things that will make things go backwards.
I like to find someone that will take good care of there self and eat right or is open to eating right with you.
Are they fit or a slob or in the middle. Health issues are good to know.
Does this person have the same interest as you?

I told my ex from the start what I wanted and he made it sound like he had the same ideas but later. Well I guess I didn't realize how later he meant. So he did admit that he strung me along as long as he could to keep from marrying or anything else like kids.

Be with someone that has common ground with you and communication is huge. You see red flags ask questions. If you continue to get no where or answers. Move on!!!!

Good luck! Have fun and see where things go. After 6 months decide if this is what you want.


12/9/11 5:49 P

Be with someone who you can be yourself with. I was dating a guy before DH that I really liked and we had fun. But when I met DH I realized that I wasn't being myself with the other guy, there were parts of myself I was suppressing.

JAGODDARD4 Posts: 163
12/9/11 5:40 P

Don't go to bed mad and always (even if it hurts) be honest with yourself and your partner.

_TRACEY80 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 153
12/9/11 8:16 A

You can't rely on anyone but yourself to make you happy.

ZOMBIFIEDNERD SparkPoints: (6,506)
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Posts: 105
12/9/11 8:07 A

You can't change anyone but yourself.

DIGIT00 Posts: 8,813
12/9/11 7:02 A


KRISUA SparkPoints: (306,384)
Fitness Minutes: (62,867)
Posts: 7,841
12/9/11 5:01 A

Talk about everything, the hard and hurtful topics included. You will get hurt, but talk anyway.

LAKERSKB24 Posts: 329
12/9/11 3:08 A

I'm 24. I've been with a great guy for a few months now.

I was just curious and wanted to hear from others;older people, experienced people(I'm really not experienced with this whole relationship thing) etc.

What is the best relationship advice you've been given, or you've heard. Something that really helped you in your relationships. Or, what's the best thing you've learned about relationships?
It's late at night, can't sleep! Forgive the randomness of this :)

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