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DESTINEE318 SparkPoints: (15,716)
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Posts: 109
7/20/13 9:29 A

Aww thank Kara. I say these thing because I am constantly arguing with that voice in my head that says I am not good enough. I see someone at the gym with a perfect body running and my first instinct is to want to be them. then I have to remind myself that "the grass always looks greener on the other side." And then I have to tall myself" if you always think the grass looks greener on the other side... maybe you need to water your OWN grass!" and thats what I do.
The thing that makes this process work is knowing whats good about me and what still needs work. There is so much good about me, I really dont want to be someone else. i just need to fine-tune the things about me that aren't working.

7/20/13 8:31 A

What wonderful message Destinee318. I will take that with me today.


DESTINEE318 SparkPoints: (15,716)
Fitness Minutes: (8,794)
Posts: 109
7/14/13 8:19 A

"What others think about me in not my business!' As long as you know youre doing what you need to do, don't let what others think dictate your reality. If they told you the sky was yellow and the sun was black would that make it so. its only when someone says something that rings true to my own belief or insecurity that I find myself being hurt by what they say. what I do in these situations is compare myself to MYSELF and ask myself am i doing something to make a change about it if it bothers ME and not them. I am not here to live a life acceptable to others. I am here to be myself as God created me that rings true to my own hearts wishes. Give yourself a hug. that always helps me. emoticon

KRBA201076 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 24
7/8/13 4:22 P


With all due respect, if your friends are saying that then they are not your friends.

6/30/13 12:56 A

Wow, that was wonderful advice for her by Wannathin. Trying on different pants until she gets the right fight is great. I did that at one point in my weight loss and felt so good in the pants. Woot.

I know my pool walking is changing and shifting my body weight. Its been great. I haven't lost a lot recently but my body is definately changing. My overhang is not as pronounced.


Edited by: KARASMILES at: 6/30/2013 (00:59)
DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,458)
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Posts: 9,717
6/27/13 11:35 A

Just to be clear, for those who have suggested it, doing core exercises will not reduce belly fat. Even assuming that the OP has that much to spare, all that will do is strengthen the muscles UNDER the fat. You can't target weight loss from specific areas with certain exercises. :)

WANNATHIN Posts: 907
6/27/13 8:14 A

Your friends are super-dooshes! At your weight, how can you be FAT????!!!! They're a bunch of fat heads, if you ask me.

Perhaps you should ask a store sales assistant to help you find all the different styles of jeans and try on one of each, until you find the best fit that makes you look and feel GRRRRRREAT! That way, you'll feel confident and worry less about such hateful comments.

And besides, you still have a few kg to go to your goal, so you never know what a difference that could make. However, I'm sure you are beautiful and fabulous RIGHT NOW, so live it up and ditch the dooshes! ;)

MCFHARPIST SparkPoints: (63,120)
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Posts: 1,890
6/27/13 12:46 A

Do you do core exercises? That might help. Also, your so-called friends are insensitive, rude, and truly need to shut their mouths. They must be REALLY insecure to say such things to you. Unload them!

Spark On!

6/24/13 6:31 P

Hello, I was thinking that with my "muffin top" I would try doing some tummy exercises to shift around the problem. Some bodies are just going to have this issue, like mine. I really cant expect my tummy issue to go away because I want it to, or wear different jeans. I am going to have to work at it. As you, I do not like it either. Frowns.

Good luck. Try the exercises on this site. They are yummiful.


KNITTY_JESS SparkPoints: (7)
Fitness Minutes: (9,010)
Posts: 323
6/23/13 4:19 P

Low waist jeans just create muffin top. If your jeans are tight you will leave marks. If not, don't worry about it. As far as the comments, people are jerks! You are supported and loved here.

6/22/13 9:49 P

So sorry to hear this! Unfortunately, criticism is a part of life, and one of the most difficult things we all face. I know that those haters not being constructive, and I agree with all the people that have already reassured you that you deserve better, and "real friends" don't say things like that. In addition to those comments, I would ask you...

1) If you are feeling badly about your appearance in clothing, remember that everyone needs to shop around to find things that look good. Even actresses that stun with their beauty have to try on several gowns before finding the perfect outfit to hit the red carpet.
2) Try shapewear for an immediate difference in the muffin top. We all need a little help to look good sometimes.
3) If there is some merit to their critiques, what goals can you set to improve that part of your appearance? You are clearly thin now, but there's also no harm in setting goals and trying to improve things you are unhappy with. Talk to an expert or do some online research -there are several exercises that target those love handles.

Good luck!!!

CRUMP8470 Posts: 34
6/22/13 11:27 A

it appears that your so called friends may be jealous of something that you possess that they don't have; or either they don't have a life. they are not friends if they are calling you fat. they sound more like bullies. if they know calling you fat upsets you and they continue to do it, i would consider finding some new friends. they are affecting your self esteem and that can keep you down and depressed. friends are supposed to uplift you and support you. i would rather be alone. i also have muffin top, but with the right fit, i feel im as cute as anybody in the room. and when you look good, you feel good. you can make it work. i believe in you. stay positive!

DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,458)
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6/17/13 6:31 P

Eowyn, if I remember correctly, you live in a culture where fat-shaming is the norm, don't you?

You are not fat. REpeat it. Say it out loud! Anyone, even the slimmest, can have muffin top from poorly fitting jeans. You may have the body type where low-rise jeans simply don't look good on you; that's okay. Not every type of pant is for every body type.

Dump the jeans, and try to find new friends. It may be easier said than done; either way, know that what they think isn't true, and it isn't a reflection of YOU. You are beautiful, desirable, and look great in a pair of properly-fitting jeans.

6/16/13 9:48 A

Ignore them you are doing good. Keep on plan and the over hang will go away emoticon emoticon lISTEN TO SIMPLE LIFE2

SIMPLELIFE2 Posts: 707
6/15/13 7:30 P

Get new pants AND new friends. Problem solved.

You are NOT fat. You are more than your weight. Focus on what your body does for you every day and love it for that. And perhaps instead of focusing on your weight, focus on ways you can help others -- family, friends, community, etc. Volunteer and meet some new people who want to help and are supportive. Get out of your own head and your shallow circle of friends.

KARATE_KID SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 1,546
6/15/13 9:39 A

"Fat" is the most common and most hurtful thing that women get to hear. This means ALL women, even women at healthy weights, even women who're underweight. We even say it to ourselves. Don't listen to it. Keep with the program to feel strong and healthy and learn to say positive things to yourself, then unsolicited criticism will have less of an impact.


PECHEDOLL SparkPoints: (2,022)
Fitness Minutes: (1,590)
Posts: 20
6/15/13 9:28 A

I would say to them, please dont say that to me. I am a woman, i do a million things a day in this body and it is mine. Keep shooting girl!

JENELG Posts: 53
6/15/13 1:46 A

Friends are those who support you and not those who bring you down. My suggestion would be to get new friends or hang out with your real friends who appreciate you for who you are.

I personally find the high waist pants to be more comfortable and better fitted. However, you do not have to do it because your friends say it, if you are comfortable with the pants you have, then keep them :)


GRAPHICS2 Posts: 13,944
6/14/13 10:18 P

I wonder why it is so much easier for people to make comments about someone overweight condition even when it is not solicited? and they seem to think its OK to do so too.
It really bothers me.

CHELHART SparkPoints: (4,092)
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Posts: 97
6/14/13 11:36 A

Everyone's body has at least one "problem" area even if they are at a healthy weight...and even when they're at the low end of the "healthy range". A lot of it's genetics. Weightloss and exercise help, but it doesn't go away. I carry a lot of my weight in my butt and thighs. So does my mom, my aunts, my grandmother, etc. It happens.

In the case of your friends telling you that you're fat. I don't care how heavy you every become, that is NEVER appropriate for your friends to tell you that you're fat. You need to tell them very directly that their comments are very rude, inappropriate, and that you will NOT tolerate their toxic remarks.

MSNOVEMBER SparkPoints: (277)
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Posts: 27
6/13/13 6:09 P

I LOVE low waisted jeans. Unfortunately I too have the old muffin top ( although not for long!)
Don't listen to the haters! Stay strong.

WVWISHIEFAY SparkPoints: (1,874)
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Posts: 54
6/13/13 5:00 P

Not sure I'd want to be friends with people who try to belittle me or bring me down.

I like JCWATL's suggestion!

JCWATL SparkPoints: (43,603)
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Posts: 707
6/13/13 4:48 P

Your "friends" are crazy jerks. Who says that to ANYONE!?

You should reply back with "I have put on a few pounds. You have too. Let's go workout together!"


COANNIE SparkPoints: (9,512)
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Posts: 241
6/13/13 2:02 P

Those people are hateful. Stop hanging out with them.

I have found that higher waisted jeans will stop the over-hang. You are 122 pounds, so not fat.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,705)
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Posts: 27,211
6/13/13 10:42 A


Your fixating too much on your looks. Don't tie your self worth to a number that stares at you from between your toes. You are not fat.

Your "friends" and "family" need something better to do with their time. Is your weight all they ever talk about ? If so, they lead really sad lives. Stop listening to their criticisms. They're worthless.

Keep accentuating your positives !

ZORBS13 SparkPoints: (197,069)
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Posts: 15,854
6/13/13 9:42 A

Wear properly fitting pants and you won't have muffin top.

EOWYN2424 Posts: 9,108
6/13/13 9:30 A

I get an overhang like a muffin top over my low-waist jeans! I know ppl call them love handles but to me, they're more like an overhang over my jeans!

It's sooo depressing! And a few of my friends are saying that I'm 'so fat now'! Help!

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