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CANADIANFROG09 Posts: 1,994
7/8/13 9:45 A


GUDDIGO Posts: 1,081
7/8/13 8:48 A

Never help a person who can help is going to bite you back

ROXYCARIN SparkPoints: (95,965)
Fitness Minutes: (82,553)
Posts: 3,996
7/8/13 12:47 A


JUDYAMK SparkPoints: (30,896)
Fitness Minutes: (9,921)
Posts: 2,247
7/8/13 12:38 A

You are enabling her & she knows that. So the next day go knock on her door & tell her you need her to pay the money back she borrowed because you have an up & coming bill to be paid, & since you lent her money you thought she would do you the favor in return by paying you back.It is all you will hear is stammering & stuttering because she can't. Or when she ask you for money say oh I was just going to as you later on today that you need money, She may soon stop!!! We always had a girl at work always wanting to borrow lunch money but never paying it back they all gave it to her then they complained she would not pay back. I told her NO the very first time I said " you have the money for lunch but you chose to buy cigarettes." she never ask me again!!!! Turn the tables on her, your in charge of your money not her!! I do not let people use me !! Get strong stand up you will feel a lot better because you take control of yourself not her taking control of you!!!!

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (57,456)
Fitness Minutes: (36,342)
Posts: 2,545
7/6/13 3:55 P

I think we have all had neighbors like this. Some people always seem to be so needy yet never want to help themselves or others.

They are hard to deal with as they are quite brazen and don't take no for an answer.
All you can do is say no and keep moving.

CRABBYTHING SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (19,643)
Posts: 138
7/6/13 3:21 P

You can't be her personal bank. Even when we are completely broke I would never ask a friend or neighbor for money. I just can't imagine.

BABYSOX Posts: 3,063
7/6/13 11:52 A

Perhaps the best gift you can give her is to say No and allow her to stand on her own two feet. She needs to be successful in accomplishing things on her own. By giving her money, you are actually doing her a disservice. You have a good heart.

MOLLYSGAN Posts: 481
7/6/13 9:48 A

Thank you so much every one, she is in her mid 40's, but her mind is like a child; she had a boy friend who is 15 years younger than her, they were together for many years, and his mother move him to another town a way from her, now she is at lost; she had 5 brother and sisters, but every one have their own life and problem, I will not see her for while, now she knows that I can't help her.

I guest I was feel sorry for her, and just try to share what I have with her, since we were tole to help those who are in needed. Thanks, God Bless !!

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
Posts: 2,954
7/4/13 4:28 P

I agree with everyone else....this person is not your friend, she is using you for $ -- that isn't what friends do!

FITNESSGONNABE SparkPoints: (10,580)
Fitness Minutes: (4,962)
Posts: 304
7/4/13 1:54 P

You do not owe her anything, even an explanation. Just say no and walk away. Report her to the management for harassment. You should not have to put up with this at your home. I know it seems rude, but some people's behavior requires a harsh response.

CAMEOSUN SparkPoints: (86,617)
Fitness Minutes: (5,698)
Posts: 10,426
7/4/13 5:03 A

You should report her to the apartment manager. She is now harassing you for $$. Not acceptable.

KKKAREN Posts: 12,754
7/4/13 4:51 A

I'd tell you don't have the money and you must get to work. Sorry you can't afford to help her.

RONNIEHUEY Posts: 12,033
7/4/13 3:08 A

Tell her you can't afford to help her.Tell her to pick up cans and bottles for extra money.Here it is 1.85 -2.14 a Lb.for cans.That's what I do when I need money for gas etc. years ago I fed a horse and two goats on cans I collected and it was only 35 cents a Lb.Good luck!

EOWYN2424 Posts: 9,108
7/4/13 2:47 A

I would ignore her and just walk away! If she tries to stop you, scream!!!!

LOISJOHN14VS6 Posts: 863
7/3/13 7:15 P


ZZYYGGY3 Posts: 2,422
7/3/13 5:48 P

she sounds like a moocher. Say no, and let her be mad. You have your own problems it sounds like. You do have your heart in the right place though.

DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,458)
Fitness Minutes: (15,905)
Posts: 9,717
7/3/13 5:42 P

Repeat after me. "No."

Say it again.

Don't give her anything else. You don't have to explain why. You don't have to feel bad about it. "Sorry, but no. I wish I could, but I can't. Have a nice day! Oh, I think my cookies are burning. Have to go, bye!"

I've known people like this, and as long as you're willing to give them something... ANYTHING, they're going to keep coming back for more.

Don't even give her change. It's okay to say no!

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
7/3/13 5:38 P

Awe I feel bad for you cause your heart is in the right place but you need to stop giving this person money you don't have. The little money you have should be for when you want something special for yourself, she keeps going back because your giving in , you need to get a back bone (believe me I'm not saying it to be mean, but she's using you) and tell her look I'm on disability I have no extra money for you, you need to go find help elsewhere and stop harassing me for money because she's harassing you and tell her if not I'm gonna have to get the police involved because she's like holding you hostage until you give it to her and that's not right!
I think it's horrible that she was pathetic enough to take your change, that is just pitiful! Believe me I have financial problems and would never ever think to shake down a neighbor for money or my relatives for that matter. I haven't been able to go food shopping in months but you don't see me asking for hand outs, you need to start thinking of yourself you don't have much and what little you have don't give it to this person.....

7/3/13 3:44 P

Tell her you can't give her money anymore. Then speak to the apartment manager about it.

GEVANS7 SparkPoints: (299,724)
Fitness Minutes: (172,093)
Posts: 2,122
7/3/13 2:57 P

STOP helping her in any way. She is not a friend. She's using you.

DMJAKES Posts: 1,635
7/3/13 2:17 P

She keeps pestering you because she knows you'll give in. Think up a reply and have it ready when she comes around again....something like

"I'm sorry, I don't have enough to pay my own bills, let alone anyone else's. Have you checked with _____________________ (insert local charity, food bank, or welfare agency here)? Be prepared to repeat it if need be--you don't owe her any explanations or excuses, so don't give her any. If she continues, tell her she needs to stop because your answer isn't going to change.

My mom has had people follow her to her car coming out of the grocery store asking for money. She's so meek she'd always give them a dollar (they usually asked for $10 or more). I finally had to call the store and tell them I'd be encouraging her to shop elsewhere if it didn't stop.

GOALWTIN7 SparkPoints: (2,121)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 306
7/3/13 1:50 P

If she never pays you back you need to stop giving her money, even loose change. You are on a tight budget yourself and have to think about yourself and your pet for emergency reasons. Once a neighbor asked me to go into business with them out of the blue. I had a business and was not looking for another one. It turned out she just wanted to use my money, none of hers, for an idea she had. I said absolutely NOT and she never asked again. Build an invisible wall with these people.

7/3/13 1:19 P

"Moocher" - Someone who always asks for things and favors constantly and will never leave you alone. They will ask for money, rides to places, for you to do simple tasks they could do easily but they think the whole world should cater to them, basically just a leech to everyone around them, a parasite to the community.

Nope, I currently don't know anyone like this.

MOLLYSGAN Posts: 481
7/3/13 1:06 P

I live in the large apartment complex, have over 180 unit here, one of my neighbor stop by last night and early this morning,when I was on my way out to grocery store, I don't own car, and depend on public bus to get to and from any where.

She started by ask for $ 25.00 for Light Bill, when I told her I did not have, she than ask for $ 11.00, still I told her no, because I just pay my rent and water, it took over one half of my check ( am disabled), and I got my animal & other expense, in the past, I have help her for foods and other item; when she ask for money, I never get it back, so this time I play smart, she did not want to leave, even know I keep on telling her about I need to get to the bus stop, finally; I give her my change jar that I keep loose change, she took some and leave, and ask what will I cook tomorrow, I told her since I by my self, was not going to do any thing, especially I am been under 2 doctors care for the last two month, was so glad she left, and hope don't have to see her too soon, do you have friend or neighbor like my ?

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