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WARMSTRONG2 SparkPoints: (429,982)
Fitness Minutes: (150,111)
Posts: 15,636
12/27/12 8:55 A

For success you need to be losing weight for yourself and your own desires not someone else's. Once you have that understanding be satisfied and joyful on reaching your goals not those of someone else.

SUNSHINE6442 Posts: 2,314
12/27/12 6:55 A

You need a new man in your life....this guy sounds like nothing would make him happy....

There is a saying... Never make anyone a priority in your life when you are an option in theirs...don t ever let him make you think you are not good enough!

I agree with CHESAPEAKE60 he isn't much of a partner.

CHESAPEAKE60 SparkPoints: (7,731)
Fitness Minutes: (12,886)
Posts: 440
12/20/12 8:15 P

I would have to question the use of the word partner in your post. A partner is someone you are working with toward a common goal. If this person is always finding fault he isn't much of a "partner".

Having said that, I agree that the decision to live a healthy life style has to come from within.

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,376
12/20/12 8:12 P

Gotta be honest, unless you're doing it for YOU, it's going to be awfully hard to stay motivated. I've been doing this for 3+ years now, and I'm barely halfway there. Please understand that this is a process and though you probably won't take as long as I have, remember that progress is progress no matter how slow, and at the end of the day, as long as YOU are happy with YOU, then the opinions of others shouldn't matter. I'm not doing this for anyone else but me. I've heard "You don't need to change a thing" so many times which proves that others really won't care if I lose weight or not. Maybe your partner is only criticizing you because you're making outside approval worth more than it is...if that make sense?

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
12/20/12 7:03 P


Weight loss takes time and you cannot rush the process. Ten pounds in 3 weeks far exceeds the rate at which many experts recommend (1-2 pounds on average after the first few weeks). When you find yourself not eating enough, this is when cravings can hit. This is why it is far better to allow an occasional treat so that you do not deprive yourself of your favorite foods. This needs to be a life-long journey to health and when we focus too much on the number, we lose sight of our goals.

Coach Nancy

TULAA3 Posts: 308
12/20/12 6:59 P

I agree with Nancy-this journey will not happen unless it is for YOU! And if your partner is not able to be supportive and encouraging no matter how well you do, then not only will that make it harder, but that's not the kind of partner you need.
Be careful-it sounds like some of the things your partner is saying are similar to things that abusers say. Don't feed into unhealthy comments-you are better than that!

What do you want to look like? What reasons do YOU have for a healthy lifestyle? What kind of support do you need in your life? Demand better for yourself-you deserve the kind of life you want.

AMYSTONE4 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (540)
Posts: 21
12/20/12 6:55 P

so far ive lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks. this past week only lost 1.5 pounds. so upset. doing everything right. working out and eating within my calorie amount. i would expect more than 1.5 pounds. just want to eat a whole bag of cookies. but im not. got about 35 more to loose. but havent had anyone even notice that ive lost weight.

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
12/20/12 6:36 P


You stated that the main reason you are trying to lose 20 pounds was for your partner. Is this something you want and are ready to do? The reason I ask is, that many times when we try to change for others, it is much more difficult to stay motivated than when we want to do so for ourselves.

When we take the focus off the scale and place it on to making healthy life-long habits the weight will follow. We must commit to living this lifestyle for the rest of our lives. This does not mean total deprivation, either. In fact with careful planning all foods are permitted, just not on a daily basis. But remember too, that exercise is another factor we cannot overlook.

I wish you well!

Coach Nancy

ONDIET25 SparkPoints: (5,416)
Fitness Minutes: (957)
Posts: 301
12/20/12 5:47 P

I am trying to lose ~20lb and the main reason is that my partner has asked me to become more fit. I've been trying to lose this weight for that past few months but I feel so unmotivated because i feel no matter how I look , he still will find something to be unhappy about. If i lose 2 lb and i show happiness, he would say something like "yes, but your arms are still flabby" so it is rather discouraging .
I now don't care about how he might feel but I want to lose this weight to prove I can do it and I want to look good for myself. but I need help to get motivated and move on from these unhealthy discouragements.

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