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SIMONEKP Posts: 2,764
2/26/13 4:08 P

If there's a history of eating disorders then it is understandable that she's concerned, especially if she thinks you're at a healthy weight.

FEDGIRL4 Posts: 2,182
2/26/13 3:06 P

She seems concerned. Maybe she reacted badly because she does not want you to go back to anorexia. Also some people obsess over the scale number. I stopped doing that last year because it was too much of a distraction and I used that number to gauge success or failure.

CILER11 Posts: 265
2/26/13 10:09 A

It seems that your friend is just concerned for you. It may be a good idea to talk with her frankly and openly about her reaction and the feelings you both have about it. Even if you don't talk counting calories and what not with her she will see the efforts you are making to eat better and I worry that without addressing it there could be some issues.

2/24/13 11:58 A

I have a history of eating disorders, and my husband watches me like a hawk, to make sure I am eating. Any sign of weight loss, talk of weight loss, purchasing of new exercise equipment, and he immediately goes to red alert.

I used to get really mad about it, but now I know he does it, because he'd rather have me alive and little chubby, than thin and dead.

Be safe and be honest with yourself, and prove to your friends and family that you can be healthy.


BEANBYDESIGN SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 1,021
2/23/13 9:06 P

If you've struggled with an eating disorder in the past, it makes sense that your friend would be concerned. For some people who have had an ED, calorie counting can be a trigger that can cause disordered eating to re-emerge. It doesn't sound like you're headed in that direction, but it makes sense that your friend would be concerned, and it's something you should be monitoring yourself for. It also might not hurt to run your goal weight by a doctor to confirm that you're not aiming too low for your height and build.

JILLO137 SparkPoints: (8,170)
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Posts: 149
2/23/13 4:13 P

Thank you soooo much for this answer!! You just helped me a lot!! I was anorexic when I was 14...... (I wasn't a really bad case, because I got out of it without professional help) I told her about that, and maybe she's really just worried about me. But I feel like tracking your food doesn't just help you to eat "less&controlled", in my case it helps me to eat "healthier". When I had a serious problem, I just stopped eating, and didn't care at all that it is bad and unhealthy for my body. Now, thanks to SP, I realize how much you can damage and hurt your own body by not eating enough.

BEANBYDESIGN SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 1,021
2/23/13 3:31 P

It's possible that she's worried you're trying to get "too thin." The last time I lost weight, I got a lot of flak for my mom when I dropped below a particular size, and it was because she thought my goal weight was "too low." It wasn't - at goal, my BMI was still 21, and my doctor signed off on my goal - but she'd literally never seen me that small, and we live in the suburbs where people tend to be thicker, so it was jarring to her to see me that small. My guess is your friend already thinks you look healthy, and is freaked out by the fact that you're trying to get smaller, since it looks to her like you don't need to. (It's also theoretically possible that she likes being the only one in the relationship who has an "amazing" body and is threatened by the possibility of yours being as or more amazing, but that doesn't sound likely based on what you've posted.)

It may be possible, as well, that she has past experiences that you don't know about with an eating disorder (either her own or someone else's) and that's why she's overreacting to the notion of calorie counting. I have a dear friend who was anorexic as a teenager, and even after she was recovered and at a healthy weight, she still got flipped out in conversations about calories and calorie-counting for awhile. It was a topic we just had to avoid for awhile.

Regardless of the reason for her response, the solution is simple - don't talk calories with her. Just keep doing what you're comfortable doing, and don't bring it up. I know it'd be nice if you could talk to her about this since you live together, but we can't always get the ideal reaction from our friends and family. Focus on your own journey, and leave her out of this piece of it.

(Disclaimer: I'm taking you at your word here that you're not trying to get overly skinny and your goal weight is appropriate for your height and build. It's also possible you're already truly thin enough and aiming for a goal weight that's inappropriate. If that's the case, her concern is justified, and you should talk with a doctor about what would be an appropriate goal weight for you.)

JILLO137 SparkPoints: (8,170)
Fitness Minutes: (5,092)
Posts: 149
2/23/13 2:53 P


I just told my best friend that I track everything I eat, and she literally got mad of me, because she said I worry waaaaay to much about my weight... I mean of course, I'm not obese or something like this, I just would like to loose the weight I gained here in the United States before I go back home in a few months... But I really don't see why she's angry about me trying to loose weight and tracking my food... I think tracking the food you eat is a perfect way to actually KNOW what you eat.. What's so wrong with that??? My friend has an amazing body, so I don't think she's jealous or whatever.... I'm just confused why she reacted like that....
Should I just don't mention this whole topic again when I'm talking to her?? (we even live together, so we talk all the time and about everything...)
I love her, but she made me a little bit mad with her overreaction...

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