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LISAWMI SparkPoints: (50,169)
Fitness Minutes: (37,224)
Posts: 1,416
1/17/12 12:00 P

Yes, very true. I'm doing well food wise today but my heart is breaking.

BAM0827 Posts: 3,023
1/17/12 11:34 A

Glad to read your mom is doing better. I know it can be frustrating to see someone we love makes poor choices around their health (or anything for that matter). In our minds the choice seems so clear! Hopefully she and her significant other will take this as a wake up call!

I received this quote last week from a friend who sends them daily. I think it is so true .. "Think about how hard it is to change yourself and then you'll realize what little chance you have of changing others." I'm going to keep this in mind when I keep hitting a wall with loved ones - it's going to help my sanity :)

Be a support to your mom but doesn't lose yourself in the process. A fellow Sparker said once - the only problem food fixes in hunger - if you're not hungry, food isn't going to make it better.

LISAWMI SparkPoints: (50,169)
Fitness Minutes: (37,224)
Posts: 1,416
1/17/12 11:11 A

Thanks for all the support, I made it through last night. She is fine for now but she smokes and drinks a lot and still works 40 hours a week at age 67. She is 4'11 and about 80 pounds. She is close to emphysema already and if she doesn't quite smoking and drinking her odds of having a major stroke are very high. I know I can't make her do anything but it kills me to see her struggle when she has two daughters that are more than willing to help her- she really doesn't have to work if she would let us help. Her significant other smokes and drinks heavily too and I like her odds of quitting if he were not in the picture but with him in the picture I just don't think he can do it.

PUDDLEBY Posts: 282
1/17/12 12:54 A

Remember that eating over your limit will definitely not make you feel better, but likely quite the opposite. My mother also had a mini-stroke and recovered completely. In a strange way, these can be blessings in disguise. Doctors can now treat her with medications, and monitor her so that this (or worse) doesn't happen again in the future. Maybe too this will make her reflect on some lifestyle changes.

1/17/12 12:13 A

You know...eating comfort foods had been my saving grace for a long time. Sorry to hear about your mother I pray all goes well for your family. Now real talk...unless you take care of yourself and get the weight off you will need to watch for health indicators for yourself. Trying to resolve issues and stressful moments with food is not the answer. Do some web research about your mother's condition, color like the SP member suggested, take a nice relaxing bath or just do the best thing you can do for yourself...think about yourself and where you are trying to be.

1/17/12 12:04 A

I'm so sorry for this situation! Take a deep breath.

What other coping skills do you usually fall back on? Are you religious? Does prayer help?
Can you call a friend and chat? Hot soak in the tub?

Anything that will take your blood pressure down a notch and allow your emotions to settle. Silly as it sounds, coloring with my daughter helps me.

FAT2FIT480 Posts: 5
1/16/12 11:09 P

I'm sorry, that is hard to go through. During stressful times like this that I've experienced, I just have to remind myself that eating may be a temporary fix but won't help me to feel better later on. Take a walk, listen to music, call a friend or family member to vent, read a book, watch a movie, read some positive Spark People articles, take a bubble bath - treat yourself with something you find relaxing and that helps you deal with stress but doesn't involve making unhealthy food choices. I know none of these things will solve the trial you are experiencing but they may help you to temporarily relieve some of your stress so you can feel better able to cope with it for a while, but making unhealthy eating choices even though it may feel good at the moment to stuff your face with chocolate, it will just add to your stress and unhappiness later. Think of something that personally makes you smile and take a few minutes to yourself to relax and have fun, but make sure you won't regret that something later. emoticon

1/16/12 9:56 P

Take a few deep breaths, you'll get through it. If you really want to eat try some fruit instead of chocolate. Do some jumping jacks or push ups, something to get the stress out. You'll be ok, and if your mom is in the hospital, the doctors are taking care of her and she'll be ok too.

How is she right now? Is she able to talk, what good news have you heard about her situation?
If she is self-destructive, this might be the wake-up call she needs to start taking better care of herself. My grandmother has had so many mini strokes, they all were terrifying in the moment, but eventually she was put on medication and she has been fine ever since. That was 10 years ago, and she's 90 now. It is a scary situation, but you don't have to eat candy and junk to cope. (That's what i'm trying to learn) Try a stress ball, try walking, call someone and talk or make yourself a cup of tea. I hope your mom gets better soon!

LISAWMI SparkPoints: (50,169)
Fitness Minutes: (37,224)
Posts: 1,416
1/16/12 9:17 P

I am at my calorie limit- I allowed myself three hershey nuggets. I need to hold out but I am an emotional wreck right now. Mom's ministroke may be minor now but could be an indicator of a major one to come especially with her self destructive habits.

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