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EASTENDCLAM Posts: 2,760
1/13/13 6:29 A

Everyones advice of finding more things to do together that are active is spot on. Get him up and moving, let him see the results himself (with an occasional - something different about you - you're looking good - attaboy kinds of things) and soon he'll be leading YOU to new activities!

N16351D Posts: 2,349
1/12/13 11:41 P

You can't make anyone exercise who doesn't want to. So, try to make it fun for him. Most men, in general, tend to be competitive. How about playing basketball, tennis, getting on a co-ed softball team, backyard football with family/friends, or doing other sports with him? How about asking him to go hiking and/or biking with you? Is there anything that you can do with him to draw him into exercise and movement without using the word, "exercise," and just go out, play games and have fun?

Are there children in your lives? Can you "rent-a-kid" and take them to a park to play and get on swings and teeter-totters with children, or do those things without a kid?

Do either of you like swimming and have access to a pool? How about going out dancing together, or taking dance lessons together?

Good luck! I have lived with a couch potato most of my married life. These tactics worked early in our marriage, but as we got more responsibility (kids, house, etc.) he sat on the couch and I went to exercise classes. But I do know my husband will move for competitive sports, but not for classes or lifting weights.

Best wishes!

KRISTEN_SAYS SparkPoints: (82,009)
Fitness Minutes: (48,676)
Posts: 5,092
1/12/13 7:46 P

He has to make that decision entirely on his own. I agree that you'll have to lead by example. My boyfriend started exercising every night after work, and he tells me that I'm the one who inspired him to do it. So he may decide to join you, but don't nag him to do it :)

LUCKYNUMBER23 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (15,322)
Posts: 449
1/12/13 6:35 P

My husband is pretty fit size 36 pants and nice arms. I go to the gym more than him. I notice the more I go, the more he goes. I think you just have to lead by example. He will see you fit and he will want to follow. You eat good - he will eat better. Good luck.

DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,458)
Fitness Minutes: (15,905)
Posts: 9,717
1/12/13 5:50 P

There is no way to force him. nagging won't help (quite the opposite.) That old adage applies here:

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

The best thing you can do is keep doing what you're doing, and keep inviting him, but keep it low key. "I'm going for a way, I'd love it if you'd join me!" and if he says no, smile, wave, and say "Okay! Be back in a bit!"

Insert whatever workout you're doing there. :) Make sure he knows he's welcome, but don't pressure him.

RAIN-I-DASH SparkPoints: (1,184)
Fitness Minutes: (1,284)
Posts: 40
1/12/13 5:21 P

Like ArchimedesII said, let him decide for himself. My boyfriend has just recently started working towards being healthy himself (more because he wants a job really badly, and he needs to lower his blood pressure for it). He's started eating healthier (and I've started cooking healthier foods for him when we have dinner dates together), and we're starting to do active dates (walking together at the evenings). Walking for us is a good starting point, and it allows us to have a bit more time together with our busy schedules.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (200,180)
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Posts: 27,333
1/12/13 4:59 P

While we all have the best intentions, we can't induce our loved ones to lose weight. They have to make that decision every bit as much as we did. If you try to force him to do something he doesn't want to do (even for all the right reasons), he's going to resent you. Didn't we resent that same behavior when our loved ones told us we should lose weight or hit the gym ?

Your BF will lose weight or hit the gym when he's ready. Right now, he's not ready. Instead, you're going to have to set the example. If you continue your healthy habits, with time, he may become interested when he sees all your awesome results.

If you want to do something together, suggest taking an evening walk or if you don't want to go out after dinner, take a walk to the park at lunch. That's something fun you can do that might ease him into a regular routine. But once again, you can't force someone to do something they aren't ready to do. His weight loss journey is different than yours. His reasons will be different too. You have to respect that.

Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 1/12/2013 (17:01)
AKRAEMER21 SparkPoints: (912)
Fitness Minutes: (211)
Posts: 20
1/12/13 4:53 P

This question is for anyone... I am trying to get my boyfriend to work out with me ( i like him the way he is) but I know hed feel better if he atleast toned more How do I get him involved in my weightloss journey and have him possibly start his own?

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