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8/7/14 1:47 P

I am so sorry you had to experience such a negative communication from a person that clearly has poor manners!
It is nobody else's business, what or who you are unless you give them permission to make it their business. In my experience it is close family, friends, my doctor etc that have any business in discussing ME. ANNNNNND the only time I expect family and friends to talk about something so personal is when I ask them for their thoughts and opinions. Sure, a true loved one may express worry and concern at times but are much more tactful than your co-worker I am sure!
Don't get discouraged! I am glad you reached out today because we all have times when we need to vent, share, and or hear about other peoples stories. I am still looking for my I am enjoying the search as I live and learn from each days experience. I had a rude awakening today when I stepped on the scale! Up again after taking 2 months to lose 5 pounds. I have no intentions of letting it get in my way though, I am a fighter and I will succeed! SO WILL YOU!

HADLEY123 SparkPoints: (22,511)
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8/7/14 9:37 A

I have peek-a-boo mojo right now too so I can totally relate. I've been more maintenance-ish - not tracking, mostly slacking but holy smokes that's no one's business at work! Once when someone at work told me I was getting fat, I told her she wasn't aging all that well. I'm mean like that.


8/7/14 8:58 A

I totally agree with TERRI101959. Forget the haters! Like water off a duck's back, as they say. Most people struggle with 10 pounds. If they don't, then they just don't understand. Sounds like your coworker is being ugly to you and wants to hurt you. If not, then it is simply ignorance. Hence, you should IGNORe him/her. Believe in yourself. You can do this. And it is no one else's business unless you choose to include that person in your journey (like us!). You are awesome for working on this and caring for your body!

TERRI101959 SparkPoints: (22,625)
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8/7/14 6:05 A

A coworker says "you're getting fat"!!! That is unbelievable, especially when you weigh 135 and I don't care what height you are. If you are like me and struggle with about 10 lbs you would love to see gone, remember to be happy that it is only 10 lbs. Be happy with the body you have, just track your food every day no matter how bad it is (because it would be worse if you weren't tracking believe me) and get a lot of exercise.

RTGRAFF SparkPoints: (7,658)
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Posts: 100
8/6/14 5:52 P

I too have strayed from the path and am returning after a few years. I've come to the conclusion that this year, starting from my birthday (July) is a year where I'm not gonna do the same routine things at the same time everyday. That apparently never worked for me. Change is my new keyword. Change my attitude about food, exercise, life in general. So far, this adventure has paid off. No longer am I shackled to the scale - I will see what it says and adjust accordingly. I've lost 4 lbs since this attitude change. Life is an adventure that leads you down a twisted road with many different ways of getting to the same destination. Sometimes you take the long way, sometimes you find a shortcut. I just know that I'll make it to my goal, and I ain't gonna stress over any setbacks.

KAJK193 Posts: 83
8/5/14 8:07 P

Mine has been missing since the beginning of the year. I started with some awesome goals then life stepped in and I got way off track. Finally this month I realized I need to get back on track and start working hard again. So far so good. One thing I didn't do was beat myself up. I just started over and trying to stay positive.

SPARKFRAN514 Posts: 52,304
8/5/14 10:27 A

I have played lost and found with my Mo Jo this summer set gaols and fallen short of meeting. one thing that is helping me to get my MO Jo even if its in slow motion is to remind my self how far i have come so far. look at pictures of me before Spark people and the lesson i am learning that setting smaller goals is often what i need instead of working on six at once do one

EL-KABONG SparkPoints: (7,042)
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Posts: 96
8/4/14 8:49 P

Some great replies heer, many of which I can apply to myself, especially about losing the all or nothing mentality. It really is about baby steps. Who knows, maybe next I'll be sailing on Lake Winniposocee (I know, spelled it wrong)

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,483
8/4/14 8:06 P

ditch the ALL OR NOTHING philosophy and focus on where you want to be six months from now. Giving yourself permission to treat yourself is fine...go back to making better choices with the next meal. If you want to reach your goal, then you need to change your mindset and decide that living a healthy lifestyle is worth the change in habits. You can change your taste preferences, you can change your tolerance for sweets and salt, you can increase your normal activity level...and it can all become your new normal..but you have to want change

FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 2,148
8/3/14 10:28 P

Quitting smoking ones with a bit of weight gain but you will soon lse that. And quitting is so good for your health, congratulations.

8/3/14 9:17 P

It's so nice to know I'm not alone. Ive been dealing with a nasty divorce which has cost me about $10 grand along with the stress of waiting for the outcome. Only thing that was important was my kids but bonus, I didn't have to pay him a cent, instead he needs to pay me support. I've gained about 25 lbs back and just started back on antidepressants again hoping it would give me some energy and some help concentrating at work like it had last year. I smoked my last cigarette the night after the divorce trail and although I was ready mentally, physically it kicked my butt. I just want to have some kind of self control and ambition!!!! Oh, and did I mention I gained 3lb over the weekend and didn't really eat crap. That does NOT help when I am trying to get motivated and step on the scale.

8/3/14 2:49 P

MOJO?! I haven't even been able to SPELL MOJO for the past six months! I've lost 115 lbs, but recently found 30 of them. When I say I was perfect losing those 115 lbs, I mean that in the most sincere, realistic way. I deviated not one iota! I truly believe that's where my falling off the wagon began. I lost the weight on Jenny Craig. I will know knock them. Without them I would still be 299 lbs. But trying to transition to my own food has quite honestly been difficult. I started back on Sparkpeople on Saturday. I did great the first part of the day, worked out, ate great up until and including lunch, then I lost it! I won't get into what I ate, but it involved a WHOLE package of cookies at one sitting and milk. And that's all I ate from 3:00 until I went to bed.

I've shaken it off and I must say today is going wonderfully. I'm following the Sparkspeople eating plan and I feel great. I'm trying not to beat myself up. I am very proud of losing the initial 115, and I know I can lose the remaining 50 I need to to reach goal. I am refocused and recommitted and re-energized! I'm doing Turbo Jam. Day 1 was yesterday. I am determined to follow the schedule for the whole month, which I've never done! I definitely got this this time around!

BROADBRUSH Posts: 1,806
8/3/14 11:13 A

i am far far on beyond 'losing' - i am lost!!! i have absolutely no more energy to devote to fending off insults, trudging along with no support and indeed - incredible resistance to trying to run a healthy kitchen. i was an island unto myself - but my island is now pretty much sunk..
keeping things out of the house that are not conducive to weight loss, health and vitality ; bringing in fresh fruits and veggies to be consumed when prepared for every one..
i am 'TIRED' to the nth degree.

KY_RD79 Posts: 169
8/3/14 8:01 A

Love this thread! The MOJO is key to meeting our goals I am a dietitian and I find that when I talk to people- most of the time- they KNOW what they need to do. They just need MOJO! So, I suggest finding someone to help keep you accountable and motivated. That is what I try to do with my patients. The SparkPeople community is great for that, too. Keep posting things, join a team, start a blog, etc. I tend to not listen to my own advice so I started a blog to try and keep me more accountable. I think it is easy to let ourselves down and get off track but the more people we have involved in our journey with us, the harder it is to quit....which is a good thing! emoticon

ANNEK913 SparkPoints: (17,710)
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Posts: 44
7/31/14 12:57 P

I have had to reset my ticker for weight loss instead of maintenance recently. It feels so frustrating! It has been harder for me to go back to those slightly stricter habits that helped me lose weight in the first place after having the freedom of maintenance. But, each day it's getting a little easier. After (almost) 3 weeks I am finally seeing some changes in my weight. I suspect that I lost a lot of muscle mass and building it back up makes the scale do funny things. So I have had to focus on the non-scale victories -- being able to increase the resistance on the elliptical, doing another set of abs, getting rid of the muffin top a certain pair of pants was giving me, etc. I love threads like this so that we can all remember we are HUMAN and all we need is a little boost to keep trying!

NEWGOALS4ME SparkPoints: (7,254)
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Posts: 44
7/30/14 10:08 P

Maybe you're being too hard on yourself. One small imperfect step is not really a setback. None of us can travel this road in a perfect straight line. What fun would that be anyway? How would we ever stop and smell the roses? We wouldn't ever know they were there if we continuously walked with blinders on... Just so we could remain perfect. Embrace those sideways steps and as others have said, learn something then continue on.
Good luck.

FITMARY Posts: 8,766
7/30/14 8:52 P

Start-overs are actually good for the very reason you mention. They bring NEW ENERGY!!!
What helped me more than anything is a good gym with lots of classes. I love aerobics, Zumba, anything where there is fun music and a fun teacher cheering me on. If you can swing it, I'd highly recommend joining. For me, it's been crucial that the gym is relatively close to my home and has lots of group classes. It's more fun with gym buddies, people I only know from the gym. In most cases, I don't even know their last names or their professions, but we have such a blast "dancing" together. BTW I'm almost 60 and many of the people in the group are even older.
I'd also suggest starting small. It was a huge help for me to pledge to do "just 10 minutes" of exercise every day for 100 days. Of course there's a Spark team to help you do that. That made it a habit and now I'm hooked.
Stay strong and just keep going! Good luck!

Edited by: FITMARY at: 7/30/2014 (20:53)
FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 2,148
7/30/14 1:08 P

I lost my mojo recently too and while I was looking for it I got down to business with my eating and exercise. Usually I find my mojo on the Zumba floor, and I'll be looking for it again on Tuesday.
But until I find it, I'll be faking it til I make it.
And for you, gee you are pretty close to your goal, you'll be there in no time.

WINDYCITYCYNDEE SparkPoints: (95,371)
Fitness Minutes: (94,383)
Posts: 2,378
7/30/14 12:02 P

I can't think of much to add to all the comments here, but one of the things I like about SP is the 10-minute rule. Are you tracking and getting a small amount of exercise every day? Just doing those two things might help you get your mojo.Your colleague needs to focus on herself, by the way!

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (200,007)
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Posts: 27,316
7/30/14 10:42 A


Welcome back to Spark People ! One thing I'm going to encourage you to do is read the replies to the OP. There are many many good replies that will help you get back into your "groove".

Mostly, I do give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

take baby steps literally and figuratively

EAGLEMOM3 Posts: 75
7/30/14 10:20 A

It is amazing when life gets in the way I go way off Spark People Routine and it is so hard to get back. I need MOJO and return to Spark People for encouragement and support.

LEANMEAN2 Posts: 20,021
7/30/14 5:42 A

There are so many good comments on this message board. Thanks to everyone.

CAMEOSUN SparkPoints: (86,617)
Fitness Minutes: (5,698)
Posts: 10,426
7/29/14 4:31 P

emoticon Just get back on track again. I sure we've all been there before. I know I have.

LIZMVR Posts: 72
7/28/14 1:06 P

I'm glad you're back at SparkPeople! Your coworker sounds a bit rude, to say the least, but I'm glad you're already turning that into motivation. Good to see you here and best of luck in sticking to it, despite any slip ups that are bound to happen :)

VUKELK Posts: 623
7/27/14 10:08 A

I was into such a good routine....getting up at 4:45 and on the treadmill by 5:00 Monday - Friday. I would get to work early and walk 5-10 laps at the Fitness center. I would walk before lunch. Then a son started sleeping on the family room couch more often then in his own room so I was being a considerate mother and not walking him up with music and treadmill noise.
So now I've had a hard time getting back into that early am routine. I need to force myself to get started again....I felt better and was more awake for the start of each day. I'm making a promise to myself to restart my routine tomorrow and start a new streak......son on couch or not....hope he likes listening to One Republic.

ANLAOCH SparkPoints: (7,209)
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Posts: 34
7/27/14 10:03 A

This is going to sound funny, but I have found that when I start with the negative talk and thinking that singing a song from a Christmas Children's Class.....Santa Claus is Coming to Town that I start smiling and keep going.

The song says.....Put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door.

DAISY-HIBANA SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (8,671)
Posts: 341
7/26/14 8:14 P

Very nice reply, TIFFFIT! Loved your thoughts as well, JARVEK7!

Edited by: DAISY-HIBANA at: 7/26/2014 (20:16)
LEANMEAN2 Posts: 20,021
7/26/14 11:44 A

very motivational. thanks.

REDGIRL54 Posts: 255
7/26/14 10:03 A

We all have challenges everyday. It is so easy to fall off of the plan or off of the wagon. The thing that helps me is to think positive and believe that every day is a new day and a new start. Take life one day at a time!

Remember emoticon

MAUNIEP42 Posts: 174
7/25/14 11:11 P

AVEINDHA, I have also fallen off the wagon recently! UGH! I was doing so well, too! I try not to beat myself up over it though. It happens! We just have to get back up and on it! WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER! Good luck!!

COLUMBINE2 Posts: 2,307
7/25/14 10:46 P

I fell off, too, after almost 5 years of SPing. My strategy is to pick something easy (which is really SP's strategy with Fast Breaks) that I can accomplish & feel like worth something. I start with drinking 8 glasses of water again. I think going back to the basics as if you were just starting SP is a good idea. I'm back on board again, lost a few pounds, turning down unhealthy foods & substituting better choices. It gets easier each day One motto I like is "If you don't like starting over, then don't quit." No one's perfect, so do the best you can & give yourself credit for each and every good choice. Strive for more good choices each day.

You can do it! Baby steps first, then bigger ones!

We're with you all the way!

KEEPITSIMPLE_ Posts: 4,835
7/25/14 7:26 P

I have to echo all. Great suggestions everyone, and they all work. Even once you succeed in reaching your goals, it's not the end. It really is forever, and you'll have ups and downs. The secret is to NOT jump off completely. Just make a change at the next meal, snack, take advantage of an exercise, big or small, don't drink the glass of wine this time or the chocolate, etc. You can turn things around completely, even in the same day. Also, I always go back to just 10 min of movement during these times, then move on. Just re - adjust right away. I've been maintaining for 4 years now, and still have these spells now and then, but they don't last long, because I don't want to go back, and I don't go overboard.

OLDEROWL Posts: 1,368
7/25/14 6:59 P

Wow, it is amazing how much common sense has been posted here. I really like Tifffit's post. so much that I repeat it below. Reminds me of Tomas Edison's reply when he was asked why he kept trying to find a successful incandescent lamp after "5,000 failures". He said something like 'Failures!! They are not failures!!, Each time I learned one more thing that will not work!!'
So, like Tifffit said, "I'm a firm believer that it takes several attempts before we have ALL the tools we need to make permanent changes. Every time we succeed, then fail, then succeed, then fail, we've learned something else. We add those lessons to our later attempts until finally we have everything we need and we have that final success! "
Each setback is a lesson about life. Life is not simple and easy; it is complicated and hard; only one thing is certain; those who don't give up will usually succeed.

Edited by: OLDEROWL at: 7/25/2014 (19:06)
JARVEK7 Posts: 9
7/25/14 5:01 P

Hang in there. Get back in the game and on the program. I had a setback earlier this week and after feeling like crap, I re-booted and got going again. You can too.... we believe in you!

PS I watched the Rocky marathon and it helped me get focused and inspired.

Edited by: JARVEK7 at: 7/25/2014 (17:02)
DACADOOO SparkPoints: (6,794)
Fitness Minutes: (5,609)
Posts: 90
7/25/14 10:05 A

I love the I get knocked down and get back up again!!! so motivational I need to remember that one because I struggle all the time. We just have to keep pushing and keep our eyes and attitude on our goals. One step at a time!!!!

emoticon emoticon

FIT_MOMMY_OF2 SparkPoints: (4,196)
Fitness Minutes: (1,012)
Posts: 138
7/23/14 7:48 P

I have been there a many a time myself. But, just like someone else said below, "I get knocked down, but I get up again" ... that sums it up! We just gotta just keep going! :-)

AVEINDHA SparkPoints: (640)
Fitness Minutes: (603)
Posts: 11
7/23/14 12:34 P

Thanks guys so much for all the motivating comments! I feel like I could FLY right now!;) Seriously I appreciate every comment. This community thing does help, doesn't it?
I agree Archimedes, you are very wise! It is not about succeeding the first or second or even thrid is knowing that life as a journey is bound to consist of high's and low's, "successes" and "failures". The important thing is, to never EVER quit on yourself. no matter how far you think you have fallen.

TIFFFIT Posts: 1,765
7/23/14 12:21 P

I'm a firm believer that it takes several attempts before we have ALL the tools we need to make permanent changes. Every time we succeed, then fail, then succeed, then fail, we've learned something else. We add those lessons to our later attempts until finally we have everything we need and we have that final success!

EREBECCA1 Posts: 95
7/23/14 7:04 A

Just start again :) You can do this - we all know you can.

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,867)
Fitness Minutes: (48,271)
Posts: 2,450
7/22/14 7:33 P

You can do this, AVEINDHA!
Don't get down because of your coworker's lack of tact!

Weight regain happens to all of us at some time. The main thing is you're HERE - Yay!

Welcome back and keep the faith. Check out the motivational section here - it's amazing.
Don't beat up on yourself. Just get back to doing what you know works.

CLS1789 SparkPoints: (15,722)
Fitness Minutes: (15,996)
Posts: 23
7/22/14 4:25 P

I think as long as you keep the wagon in sight, falling off of it is not the end of the world. And, if you are still on SP reading these posts, then the wagon is totally within sight.

I am trying to learn the difference for myself between slipping up for a day or two and really falling off the wagon. As all of it is supposed to be part of this new life, so I am trying to see these "slip up days" as just part of the journey and not a failure.

AZRIDERS Posts: 215
7/22/14 4:01 P

Good job for climbing back on the wagon! You can do it!

HOTMOMIE1964 SparkPoints: (3,706)
Fitness Minutes: (1,135)
Posts: 5
7/22/14 2:31 P

Can I tell you this is exactly how I feel!!!! You are not alone. I very much loved the feedback of ArchiMedes! I will take his advice to heart and be kind to myself and realize change takes time. Together we can do day at a time. emoticon

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (200,007)
Fitness Minutes: (299,018)
Posts: 27,316
7/22/14 12:46 P

Hi, Kate !

The fact that you're on Spark People says that you are ready to make a change. As I told the OP, I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". if the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Take baby steps literally and figuratively. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Set some simple goals first. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time, thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.

And definitely read some of the replies that have been posted in the various forums. Spark Members leave really great pieces of advice.

Be kind to yourself as you would to others.

KATYDID412 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (23,165)
Posts: 6,078
7/22/14 12:39 P

I've fallen off the wagon again. I consider it a good thing that I'm even on SP reading other people's posts. I did a kitchen remodel earlier this summer that threw me off schedule completely and haven't gotten back on. Even though my kitchen has been done for a month. Weeks of take-out and no room to exercise in the house has led to more weeks of no working out and only slightly better nutrition. Just looking for some support right now and some encouragement.

ACACIA21 SparkPoints: (83,737)
Fitness Minutes: (21,255)
Posts: 2,207
7/21/14 12:19 P

I have been at this a long time. It comes and goes, but I always try to take care of myself.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (200,007)
Fitness Minutes: (299,018)
Posts: 27,316
7/21/14 12:15 P


Welcome to Spark People !

I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". if the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Don't try to do too much too soon or you'll end up frustrated. Start by setting some simple goals first. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. if you're not exercising, don't start with an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

Take baby steps literally and figuratively. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.

Welcome !

ALM0226 Posts: 158
7/21/14 9:28 A is the day to play that song..."I get knocked down, but I get up again" know the song I'm talking about?

I`ve fallen off the wagon so many times I can't even count them, but the good news is each time we climb back in it and have longer steaks the less time we are off of it doing damage to our bodies....soooo way to get back in the wagon girlie!!!

Edited by: ALM0226 at: 7/21/2014 (09:29)
SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (253,718)
Fitness Minutes: (41,531)
Posts: 27,141
7/21/14 5:40 A

I eat a ton of soups but never have any cream in them. They are pureed down and very filling, BUT not high on calories.

I am in the middle of winter, too, and yes, I have chocolates. The trick is to ensure that it is done in a balanced way. Don't get me wrong - I over-indulge at times, too, but the thing is, I actually PLAN for those occasions. Most of the time I eat toward the lower/mid end of my range so counter the negatives of the occasional splurges. I have been maintaining for 3 years now, so it obviously works! I don't drink any alcohol. I note that you do - well just as the chocolates is done in a balanced way, the same applies to alcohol. Make a few extra days a week alcohol free, and when you do drink, choose the lower calorie versions and/or have a glass of water or diet soda between the glass of alcohol, AND drink it more slowly.

I am wondering if when you start on this journey, if you change a load of things all at once. If this sounds like you, I suggest that you go back to the beginning and make only one or two changes, but this time, give your mind/body time to get used to those before adding something else to the mix.


AVEINDHA SparkPoints: (640)
Fitness Minutes: (603)
Posts: 11
7/21/14 3:30 A

sigh...its happened again. after all the work I put in. I went off track and started to eat too much and exercise too little...lost faith in myself AGAIN. and the dreaded "you are getting fat" comment from a frustrating! but at the same time as making me want to cry and hide kind of helps me get out of the "denial" stage (i know i'v put on can you not??winter...on holiday. lots of wine and creamy soups. and the chocolates...sigh)
and into the acceptance and pumped up stage. time to start working again! but i'm ready. and willing!:)

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