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LITTLEMISS28 Posts: 11
7/10/13 2:48 P

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the advice, it's what I needed to hear right now.

After posting this I felt a lot better and started thinking about how this patterns keeps perpetuating itself. I think one thing that happens is my fiance (bless him) can never say no to me, and he gets really worried about my stress levels. So if I'm craving McDonalds or a chocolate bar, he'll go out and buy whatever I want for me. If he knows I'm stressed at work and the last thing I want is a salad or fruit tray he'll order take out for when I get home, and then I don't have to do dishes or worry about dinner. My dad does the same thing with my mom and I know it's only meant out of love as they both show their love through food...but it has negative effects for all of us. My mom has told me repeatedly that she started gaining weight when she moved in with/married my dad and I'm sorry to say I'm repeating the same cycle!

I think tonight I am going to sit down and have a good talk about this, and we will make a list of things we can do to show love/appreciation to one another without food. I saw a cute idea on Pinterest where you write on popsicle sticks ideas for dates and rewards, and you put them in a jar and draw them whenever you're looking for something to do. We could spend tonight making a bunch of them that are strictly NOT food-related. It'll be tough but we'll manage.

ELIZABETH5268 SparkPoints: (52,641)
Fitness Minutes: (17,503)
Posts: 1,332
7/10/13 2:47 P

I know you are busy with school but have you tried reading either Spark Books? They are cheap and full of tons of advice and help you navigate the site.

SparkRecipes has VERY easy recipes. It is actually how I learned to cook. I get compliments all the time now when I bring treats to work, pot lucks, holiday things etc and I swear to you I learned it all on here and before that I couldnt' cook worse a damn.

I have a 5 year old little girl and I work full time. I have a gym membership and would go when I had time and tried for it at least three days a week but then a friend of mine did a TurboFire Challenge. It is a lot easier for me to do workouts at home and now that it's nice to run outside. Like you, my days are packed and it is much easier to cut time corners as much as possible. You might enjoy somethign like that where all the workouts are right there for you, very little equipment needed and it comes with it and gives you a scheudle and access to their website that can give you ideas for quick food.

When I was first trying to loss 30 pounds I had packed on while in an unhappy relationship I got a FitBit. It gave me some motivation to get up and moving even though all I felt like doing was sitting on my butt. It was a start, little things like laps around the house, walking up and down the stairs, etc. It gives me access to the site where I have friends from on Spark and we have friendly step competitions that takes no longer than 5 minutes a day to check and sync...then syncs to your Spark account at the touch of a button.

I also eventually (after almost 8 months on here) bought a Polar heart rate monitor. I now can tell how many calories I burn in my cardio exercises and know when I am in the proper rate zone.

I still use SparkPeople as my main fitness site but using FitBit and Team BeachBody for their tracking and calenders is nice too and cuts my guesswork out of a lot of things.

I also used SparkCoach when it was first introduced on here. With three different programs you're sure to find something that will give you daily motivation and very valuable tips as you work your way through the changes to your lifestyle.

SparkPages is a great way to meet people to help push you too!

I've been on here since early last August so approaching a year. I've learned so much but it took time and it took a lot of smaller steps in the beginning. I still learn and have to recommit at times by challenging myself in different ways or picking a basic such as waterdrinking and push myself. Starting small and adding was the best thing I ever did, trying to do it all at once failed me over and over again. You can do it and this is the perfect site to do it on!

Edited by: ELIZABETH5268 at: 7/10/2013 (14:49)
PERFECTVELVET SparkPoints: (65,515)
Fitness Minutes: (41,671)
Posts: 6,380
7/10/13 2:39 P

That's good advice. Just pick ONE thing to change right now. Try to get in 8 cups of water, or skip the soda, or skip the coffee. Eat half of what you would normally eat. If you order pizza, just have one slice and enjoy a salad with it. Focus on getting in a 10 minute walk as dinner cooks in the oven. Or walk on your lunch break. Or do 10 squats while you're in the bathroom. Do jumping jacks during commercials.

But just pick one or two things for now. Don't try to fix everything at the same time, or you're more likely to fail; it's just too overwhelming, and you don't need anything else on your plate right now.

7/10/13 2:06 P

You do seem overwhelmed. I agree with the other post that you need to set small goals and start there and find other ways to reward each other. Also since you are doing this together which is awesome leave little notes around to encourage one another. Remind each other why you need to be healthy.
God Speed.

DASHKATH Posts: 862
7/10/13 1:53 P

Get up early and exercise for 30 mins every morning. Commit to 1 week. After that first week you can reasses and commit to another week. Set small goals for yourself. Keep a calendar and give yourself a star for every day you make your goal.

Don't try to climb the mountain. Set milestones.

Change your rewards from food to an activity. Go somewhere special for a hike or a game of frisbee. Just incoporate healthier choices (food/activity) into your lifestyle instead of trying to change it completely.

God bless.

LITTLEMISS28 Posts: 11
7/10/13 1:22 P

Hi everyone!

So, I am back on Sparkpeople after almost a full year of trying to lose weight. Last summer, I went through a tremendous amount of stress due to unhealthy/unstable living conditions, and I put on twenty pounds. Since then, I have been trying to lose 30 pounds. And I am sad to say that although I had dipped into the low 150s around December or so, after a year I am basically back to where I started: in the 160s.

I don't want to make excuses, but I have to say that the past year has been rough. I have held three different jobs and moved three times. My fiance and I are an interracial/interfaith couple, and his family has seriously put us through the wringer over this (I'm talking suicide threats, threats to disown him, everything). We got a kitten, and although he is the love of our lives, he has been very ill (at one point we thought feline leukaemia--and that hasn't been ruled out). My fiance just graduated and is trying to find a full time job to support us, while I try to finish my last year of school (and will then have two years of my Masters to go). Through all this we have been working various full-time jobs to support ourselves.

Because we are so busy and strapped for cash we hardly go out, don't really enjoy ourselves, and so basically when we do go out, we eat. Since we don't have much to entertain ourselves with or to de-stress, we reward ourselves with food. This summer we work a gruelling job of housekeeping/janitorial work in the heat, so to reward ourselves we order pizza at night or buy an iced coffee on campus. If we do go out, it's always to a restaurant and followed by a movie with popcorn and large sodas.

We have been yo-yoing this entire year. Usually what happens is we have a stressful week and we eat like crap, and then we both feel guilty, so we tell ourselves we are going to reform and we go out and buy all healthy food. Then we don't have time to cook, or we lose motivation, or we're just too overwhelmed, and the food sits in the fridge while we order in or buy food on campus. And then after a while we feel guilty and repeat the process again...and again...:(

I am almost crying as I write this, because we just want to find a way to stick with these habits. I understand that it's a choice to eat healthy, but my fiance and I are both going to counselling and doing everything we can to get ourselves on track, and I do feel like we're making an effort. I have social anxiety and we even purchased gym memberships and went for a while, though I was terrified of working out in front of people. But since we work 9-5, and then have to go home and give our cat medication, and then almost every night we have class until 10 pm...we lack motivation to work out after all of that.

Does anyone have any advice for us? I can't keep losing and gaining weight again, it's becoming depressing and I feel lethargic all the time because of this. We have so much going on right now, I would really like to have at least one thing in my life organized and taken care of. I can't tell you how much it would relieve me to at least get one thing in my life under control.

Thanks everyone.

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