First, WOW. I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
My parents have issues, but I can definitely see why you are so overwhelmed.
First, with your brother, I would call him and ask if work is really why he doesn't talk with your mom. Ask him if he would call once a month (and like the PP said, space your calls out monthly, so that there is a check in).
Second, with your mom, you are going to have to cut back. I know you love her. Of course you do. The fact of the matter is, she is hurting herself. She is in an unhealthy relationship, she is also very unhealthy herself. If she were the alcoholic, you would do anything to stop her from drinking. I guess before you leave, I would tell her that you need to talk to her about it. And then try. Tell her why YOU feel she needs savings, to lose weight, and that YOU are afraid of losing her.
There is medicaid, and Obamacare is coming, so if something happens, you wouldn't be responisble.
You need to focus on your journey. I know that you aren't the only ones, My husband's father is not very responsible. He is very dificult to deal with at times.
5/20/13 1:15 A
OK so obviously they didn't nurture you well and our parents are not our responsibilty. You owe them nothing and it's not your job to force them to be healthy. Nor will they listen to you. Continue to call once a month and live your life for you...as for your brother...tell him you plan to call once a month and he could do the same two weeks apart from you so one of you are checking in every two weeks.
As for illness and health insurance...I have no idea where your mother is but in the USA they have medicaid for people with no insurance and county hospitals treat everyone with or without insurance.
Good luck to you and again it's your life, live it to be happy.