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CHESAPEAKE60 SparkPoints: (7,725)
Fitness Minutes: (12,886)
Posts: 438
11/4/12 6:22 P

Trust me I can relate and am sympathetic on the toll it takes on one resolve and choices. My husband went back to school for his engineering degree when I was pregnant with our first child. I took care of the baby while he went to classes during the day. Then I worked full time second shift at the hospital during the evenings while he studied and took care of the baby. I got home at close to midnight and we spent a few minutes together before collapsing in bed. Thank goodness for days off. But we survived the 2 years and my daughter grew up extremely close to her dad because of the bond they formed during the time they were alone together.

Healthy habits just don't always take a front seat at times in our lives. We just do the best we can. As SP always says, one good choice at a time.....

WPITTSLEY7 SparkPoints: (1,108)
Fitness Minutes: (568)
Posts: 9
11/4/12 6:15 P

Maybe you and your wife need to sit down and work out a little better schedule for your son. 10:30 is pretty late for a little guy to stay up, im sure works for her because then he sleeps later in the morning allowing her to get her sleep in.But maybe a compromise can be reached? If you cant take him to the gym maybe someone could watch him for you while you go? Maybe theres a gym with childcare?
But you got yourself motivated again and thats the place to start....

BOR9455 Posts: 52
11/4/12 6:01 P

No worries. We have been juggling this for well over a year now, and it was that small but subtle change of a few hours that is just wrecking a lot of my progress. I am sleeping a few less hours on average each night as a result. That isn't helping, but again, sleeping less isn't the reason that I say yes to doughnuts, cookies, and birthday cakes. Sometimes I have had all three of those in the same sitting. Months ago, I wouldn't even touch a single one of those in weeks and now I'm plowing down an extra few thousand calories in a day.

I really only have myself to blame. The change in my wife's work schedule has been a contributing cause to my rapid weight gain, but it isn't the root cause. Not only did the hours she typically works change, but the volume of her hours have gone up, and that is something that I need to address. I have oftentimes joked that I feel like a single dad when she works over 30 hours a week, because I don't see her much and we just trade off watching him.

CHESAPEAKE60 SparkPoints: (7,725)
Fitness Minutes: (12,886)
Posts: 438
11/4/12 5:48 P

Change is always difficult. And I am trying very hard not to be judgmental here but....... welcome to every mother's world.

Moms have always had to juggle child care with taking care of the home with trying to plan healthy meals for the family. And it IS hard! But just keep trying. Take one step at a time.

BOR9455 Posts: 52
11/4/12 5:35 P

Maybe this isn't a panic situation, and this certainly isn't my first rodeo, but I still really kind of have to blame myself for this mistake.

At the beginning of October, I was doing very good. I had set a goal to be 12% body fat by Christmas Time. Mostly it was because I have never been that lean, and I had already reached a number of other goals (first time under 200 lbs in my adult life, be able to do pull-ups, etc). I was actually oddly enough just a touch over 200 lbs, which I had made tremendous peace with, because I was stronger than I had ever been, even going back to my college football playing days, and my BF was trending downward.

It was also about this time that my wife, who only works part-time, started picking up some different shifts in the evening. This meant that a few nights a week, I had to stay up a few extra hours to get my now 2 year old son fed, bathed and to sleep. My core work hours have always been 6:00 AM - 2:30 PM, meaning that I'm up about 5:00 AM each day. Her work hours were typically 3:00 PM-9:00 PM, with the little guy going to bed around 10:30 PM. He kind of kept her schedule, he was up until she got home and she started getting him ready for bed, and they got up about the same time in the morning, between 9:30 and 10:00 AM. Well, as you can imagine, I was often minutes from bedtime when she was coming home, and it stunk not seeing her very much, but it was only a few days per week.

Like I said, her boss gave her a management role, which pays her $3.50/hr, which is a nice pay bump, but she has only ever worked part time to help us cover the bill for her car, which we weren't able to budget for! So now she works from 4:00 or 5:00 PM to 11:00 PM or Midnight a few nights a week. Sure, I get to see her when I come home from work, but I do end up taking the little guy to the gym around 5:00 PM, so it doesn't really help me much. All that having to stay up later and watch my son and do all the things I'm not normally involved in has literally wrecked all my weight loss efforts.

I know that I only have myself to blame, because I have allowed myself to eat crappier foods (Lets talk about the desserts and treats I have made for myself lately, yikes!). It hasn't helped me much that it seems as though recently everyone at work has a birthday, or our team has a meal out paid for by the company, or even more dreaded was sending me out of town for a week of training last week, where the classes had food and drink on a buffet line. I tried very hard to make good choices and eat sensible portions, including not having dessert, but I really felt uncomfortable because I was out of my element and routine from home. It really didn't help that two weeks ago I hurt my lower back and was laid up in physical therapy trying to get my basic movement back, let alone get back to my intense and demanding workouts.

So it all boils down to really looking at myself in the mirror and looking down at the severe disappointment on the scale and just finally make a change. The first weekend in August, I weighed 194.2 lbs. Today is the first Sunday in November and I'm just a touch under 220 lbs at 219.6 lbs. I know weight isn't the whole picture, but I'm really down about that number. I allowed myself to make all these bad food choices. I continued to allow my wife to bring foods into the house that are toxic to our better eating habits. I have allowed myself to become complacent enough in the gym that I don't need to work as hard as I had to get from the low 260s to 196. Sorry if this post is just rambling, but there is so many things I need to get off my chest. My wife's new schedule has been nothing but added stress and problems for me, and I'm truly hoping that when we send our little guy off next weekend to spend the weekend with his grandparents that we can take some time to sort out a schedule for her that will make us both happy and get us both "back on the wagon". I don't want to be judgmental, but I have noticed that while my wife has lost over 30 lbs this year, I think she has quickly put almost all of it back on in the past two months. I implore her to eat good, and I cook a lot of really healthy meals (which is really the oddest part of this whole process for me and her, lots of great choices available at home), yet we have both ballooned up fast.

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