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MARIA11X Posts: 532
1/17/12 2:45 P

Hi Johnny,

The title on my Spark page is "One day at a time." For me, rather than trying to look ahead for a lot of months, asking myself "how can I possible reach my goal?" and getting all stressed, I start each morning asking myself, "what can I do today?" I work on eating a nourishing breakfast, and then when it comes to lunch time, I work on that, etc. In other words, I try to not overwhelm myself.

There are days I slip up, but then I start again the next day. Those "slip up" days are getting fewer now. I don't beat myself up, I just start again each day now. I went thru a few months where I had gained a lot of weight back, but then lost a lot of weight in a couple of months, once I realized I was going off track. I am now back on track. I did not reach my goal when I wanted to, so I just started over and set a new goal. When that time comes, I will re-evaluate.

As long as you keep trying and don't give up completely, you will be fine. Rome was not built in a day, and it took time for the weight to come on. It wil take time for it to come off as well. Slow progress is best. Good luck to you!

LUCKYONE60 SparkPoints: (19,456)
Fitness Minutes: (16,548)
Posts: 638
1/17/12 11:11 A

I'm reading this because I'm struggling too although I prefer to call it "learning" now that I have learned how to be careful about what I say to myself. I agree with the posters that say to be kind to yourself and to take it one day at a time, or one minute at a time! If it is any consolation, reading what others have written to you because you were brave enough to put it out there has helped me today. I encourage you to continue to be brave in expressing your emotions and not to "stuff" them down with food. That is how we begin to heal. All the best to you - today!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

1/17/12 10:58 A

glad to see that my brain wasn't the only one struggling with this as well! thank you for sharing your struggle! i also like that someone said you can't change it all in 9 days... my brain and heart REALLY needed to hear that!

how's it going today?

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,476)
Fitness Minutes: (296,538)
Posts: 27,192
1/17/12 10:08 A

Hi, Johnny !

You need to be kind to yourself as you would to others. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a lifetime. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. Thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.

Nelson Mandela once said,"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

So, don't beat on yourself if you feel your motivation slipping. Every single one of us here on Spark has experienced the exact same feelings. What to do ? As the old song goes,"Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Give yourself credit for the positive things you do for yourself and try not to beat yourself up over the negatives. We all have negatives in our lives. that's perfectly normal.

The goal is not to eliminate the negatives. the goal is to have the positives outnumber the negatives.

Take those baby steps literally and figuratively. Don't beat yourself up if you have a slip. We all have those. Give yourself credit for the good things you do for yourself even IF you think the rest of the day is shot for whatever reason.

If the only healthy thing you were to do for yourself was to drink 8 glasses of water today, that's still a step in the right direction. Today, you drink 8 glasses of water. Tomorrow, you drink 8 glasses of water and take a 30 minute walk.

Slow and easy really does win this race. If you ever feel like your motivation is taking a nose dive, write a blog or post to the forums. we're all here to support you if you need support.

And yes, you really are doing just fine.

JOHNNY90210 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (512)
Posts: 270
1/17/12 6:16 A

Thank you everyone for your kind comment.
Today is a new day and I think I am re-focused again.
I liked the comment that I cannot expect to change everything in 9 days. This is going to be a journey to success.

PUDDLEBY Posts: 282
1/17/12 1:04 A

I believe that many of us have the same struggle. I have been with Sparkpeople for 5 and a half months and still have to fight with my thoughts (sometimes I win, sometimes, I don't). We can't expect perfection from ourselves everyday. This is a learning experience and like others have said we can't change all our old habits in a week. Try not to be so hard on yourself and just try to stay on track tomorrow. Think about all the reasons you want to lose weight and what your life will be like when you reach your goal. Watch JMerlau's video about his loss of 100 pounds. It is very motivating.

1/16/12 8:52 P

I feel what you are going through! For me, I've always expected perfection and then when I was not able to follow through with that perfect plan I would give up and feel like a failure. I am feeling more confident that this time will be different for me. I am trying to assess my day by looking at how I have changed and the improvements I am making rather than the day being either great or bad. I am coming to terms with the fact that this will be a slow process but one that will result in a true lifestyle change. I am also trying to focus on tackling one big bad habit at a time. Basically I am being kinder to myself and looking at this more as a process than race. Stick with it and focus on the positive. When you make a poor choice, let it go and focus on the next. Beating yourself up about what has already been done will not help. Thank you for posting! Your posting helps us too!

Edited by: THISONEISFORYOU at: 1/16/2012 (20:52)
BLUEFISH2 Posts: 3,876
1/16/12 7:07 P

I know how difficult it is when you know the right things to do, so want to do the right things yet there is this undeniable pull to go back to your old more comfortable habits. Recognizing this is huge and can enable you to put those thoughts in perspective. It is very hard to change directions once you have momentum and it will take some time to build as much momentum toward this new healthy lifestyle. I agree with previous posts. Be kind to yourself. Treat and talk to yourself as you would to a friend starting this journey. You wouldn't tell a friend to throw it the towel or that they are a disappointment. You would tell them they are doing great, it's hard and that they are here if you need someone to lean on. Each time you do something good for yourself, no matter how small, will help you build momentum and motivation. Drink a glass of water and take a deep breath.
I think many of us share this struggle. I know I do.
Wishing you all the best!

1/16/12 4:51 P

I completely understand. Just keep going, even if it is hard. You shouldn't worry about disappointing other people, worry about disappointing yourself. You don't want to give up, you want to give in. It's hard losing weight, changing your old habits, exercising. It's near impossible to do a full 180 in 9 days. It's a slow process and you should be proud of yourself for doing as well as you have. It's completely natural to feel the way you do. It's hard to stay motivated. The good thing is that you recognize the struggle you are going through right now, and you are reaching out for help and support.
Read some motivational articles, look at success stories, focus on your end goals. What are the things that you are looking forward to doing/accomplishing as you lose weight? Are you looking forward to feeling healthier? Are you looking forward to being more active, starting new activities? Look toward your goals and do what you need to do to reach them. You CAN do it.

1/16/12 4:50 P

You need to do something to get you re-motivated. Beginning this week was really really hard for me too, this morning I wrestled with whether to eat something healthy for lunch or something really bad for me. Instead, I just did something to motivate me, I went on the treadmill. Now that I went on there I feel really good and am not tempted to ruin it. Maybe you can do something like that?

If doing something physical to motivate yourself isn't possible, I would say you should tell yourself some things mentally to get you back into gear. Think of all the diets you've been on, and think of all the times you lost motivation and quit. If you just would have stayed the course, and continued, you probably would have tackled your goal by now. You need to make this time different than the last ones, you need to stay the course, and keep going.

SEAJESS Posts: 3,826
1/16/12 4:49 P

And please don't forget to congratulate yourself early and often on your great start!

Nonscale goals help alot because (betcha a quarter), you WILL hit a weight loss plateau, even doing everything right.

JOHNNY90210 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (512)
Posts: 270
1/16/12 4:46 P

Thank you Seajess.
I guess its a big change to my body and mind. Will just take me time to really get into it fully.

SEAJESS Posts: 3,826
1/16/12 4:41 P

Be gentle with yourself.

My story was initial success with losing weight and then hitting the real issues ~ and those were internal psychological and spiritual issues. If healing those were easy, we'd all have done it along time ago.

Plus change is hard. The body and the mind resist it. Know that you are doing something very bold and adventurous. You are climbing Mt. Everest of the spirit! Rest sometimes. Don't fall down the mountain if you can avoid it, but if you do, well there are ways to recover.

Read some IndyGirl and DietGirl blogs, scroll through the SparkPages and find others who are on the other side of these issues.

You are not alone.

Be gentle with yourself.

JOHNNY90210 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (512)
Posts: 270
1/16/12 4:21 P

I was not sure if to post.
Reason being is I feel that I have had so many nice messages saying how well I have done, if i say I am struggling I am going to dissapoint people.
Maybe that is silly but it's how I feel.

I am trying so hard but I seem to have an inner battle.
Last week I was so motivated and did really well to lose 9lbs.
I just feel myself slipping and I am struggling to get back on. It is like I have something inside me fighting against me to lose weight.
What is with that??
I so want to do this but something feels like it is pulling me back into my old ways.
Feel like I am letting myself down once again.
I don't get it.. I want to lose weight and was so motivated but I seem just like I am self destructing in my second week.

I don't know how can I refocus? How can I get the motivation I had last week?
Why am I having this inner battle going against me?
Sorry I just felt best thing I can do is post this..

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