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MONICA.R Posts: 16
2/14/13 4:42 P

Sorry to hear that. I was learning to box and the coaches started to make me feel uncomfortable. Plus I was the only woman they were training. Needless to say I had to quit that gym and now I am at a new one and I love it! Is there any way you might consider another gym?

CMCOLE Posts: 2,667
2/14/13 3:48 P

a toughie to be sure.

it could be just his personality, and he thinks it's appropriate, and hopes to make you feel comfortable? since you mention you're not 'touchy feely' you may notice it more than someone else.

I hope you can find a way to resolve it so it doesn't keep you away from the gym

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
Posts: 2,954
2/14/13 7:44 A

Let him know that you feel uncomfortable with his actions and then don't stay and talk when he gets in front of you, make something up and vamoose quick as you can

Next, if that doesn't work, go to his boss. A trainer at our club just received a suspension for this and then decided to quit on his own

Good luck but remember to stand up for yourself. I find working the family into any conversation ie. my husband...blah blah blah

WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
2/14/13 7:33 A

Never really worked out at a gym, always at home but have had guys smile at me while walking at the park. The only way to really get someone to not hit on you is to ignore them, or approach them and let them know their behavior makes you uncomfortable. Im sure the trainer A guy is just trying to be friendly unless youve personally heard him saying that you have a nice butt or something. I goto a weight loss dr that is owned and operated by some big jock, hes not bad looking but hes nice to all his female clients, shoot hes nice to all his clients in general. If one really wanted to they could take it as flirting but to me its just him being nice. He smiles and says hi and waves to all the patients, maybe trainer A is the same way. Just saying.

DEANNAMB33 SparkPoints: (23,622)
Fitness Minutes: (30,498)
Posts: 617
2/14/13 7:10 A

Never had this problem ... almost wish I did ... it would be sooo nice to be hit on!

FITNESS_ELLE Posts: 1,761
2/14/13 7:07 A

Thanks for empathizing! I had read that about the wedding band thing, glad to hear someone else confirm it. That was also a problem when I worked at a larger firm in manhattan - all these younger guys just wanting a fling or something....

Although, this particular guy (Let's call him Trainer A) was looking over at my left side (so he was either looking at my ring finger or my butt) and smiled to himself. (He doesn't always notice that I catch him.) I wasn't wearing my ring at the time because the rough texture on the weights messes it up. However, there is a major dent/tanline that may or may not be noticeable to people. If he was hoping I'm single, and thinks he has confirmation now, I feel bad for him and hopefully me wearing the wedding band and bringing my husband will help with this guy. However, there are lots of other skeazier guys (including some of Trainer A's clients) who will actually talk to each other about my looks loud enough for me to hear. eeek.

I think the culture of the gym might just be that way. In which case, looking at your phone a lot and having headphones in may be the way to go. Thanks!

KRISUA SparkPoints: (290,905)
Fitness Minutes: (60,861)
Posts: 7,052
2/14/13 2:30 A

OMG you two! I have never heard anything alike but I can easily relate. That's why I chose a gym for "ladies only" emoticon

MRSALLYP SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (59,080)
Posts: 147
2/14/13 12:21 A

That's a hard one and I'm sorry you are feeling uncomfortable! I notice too there are certain people that like to stare and one guy even had the nerve when I was doing a lying leg curl to go over to the machine right infront of me and when I looked up since I noticed someone was there he stared right at me and smiled I didn't even know what to do cause most are smart enough to look away when I look toward them! The touching part is easy since you can say your not comfortable by saying "please don't" or by stepping back when they go do to it but I'm not sure how you get them to not stare! I had co-workers say that me wearing my wedding bands might be worse for me since guys who are looking to hook up are more likely to be tempted by a married woman over a single one as a married one is not looking for a relationship - didn't make sense to me but when 3 of the guys agreed I realized wearing my rings isn't going to stop any of it!

I just stay focused on my workout and when I see someone looking at me and we make eye contact I give a quick smile so they know I noticed and go back to what I was doing, I also wear my headphones and look at my phone during my rests so they understand that I am there for a reason and it is not to pick anyone up!! Though I will say going with my husband a few times didn't change the staring anyway so I just take it as a compliment that they find me attractive and leave it at that!

FITNESS_ELLE Posts: 1,761
2/13/13 10:28 P

I am wondering if anyone has tips on how to deal with flirtatious trainers at the gym? I feel like they think it is part of their job, or they are allowed to get away with it or something. It's not as bad as at other gyms I've been to (I left those - because the trainers were too aggressive -offering free sessions, etc.) This is pretty mild in comparison, but It's more attention than I want. I mention my husband when I can and I wear a wedding band. However I keep catching this one trainer staring, and when I take his class, he always finds a way to talk to me after. Recently he even patted me on the shoulder and told me what a great job I did - I thought the touching was a bit odd, but it all could be fairly innocent. I'm just not a touchy-feely type esp, with people I don't know. Mostly it's just the staring and the fact that he just "happens" to be in my path wherever I am in the gym... This may sound silly, but I'm uncomfortable enough that I am avoiding the gym...

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