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LOLA_LALA Posts: 659
2/16/14 1:42 P

Congratulations, Dana! What a classic beauty you are, too - and I'll bet you feel wonderful having achieved this tremendous accomplishment emoticon

I lost 80 lbs., and I've been at my current weight for about three years now. It's such an odd feeling, isn't it? We seem to carry the memory of that heavier version of ourselves with us for quite some time, and I don't know if there's any "timetable" which predicts when the self-concept we hold of our new bodies will align itself with the weight registered on the scale.

My husband still says, "You don't know how small you are!" It took me a long time to transition from that image of myself as a heavier me to what I perceive as a "normal" body now at 115 (I'm 5'4" and have a small frame). I just see myself as "average," whereas he thinks I'm slender.

I'll take it :) But my point is, it's probably a gradual, highly individualized process. All the best to you, and again, CONGRATULATIONS!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 2,148
2/16/14 2:42 A

I have got rid of nearly 100# & am having trouble getting used to new me. I have some clothes that fit OK that I can wear to work and I have exercise wear that fits, though my togs are too big now. But my everyday clothes, for gardening and the like, are really baggy. So baggy that they are almost falling off, no matter how hot a wash, and how long they spend in the drier hot cycle! Have a few more kilos to go, so don't want to buy new clothes, but I think I'll have to. Am getting some altered and some smaller versions made of old favorites.

I just feel odd going into clothes shops, bewildered really. I need to get my head around what size I might be... And what suits me now nearly thirty years on from when I was last this size.

You might think this would be fun, and some of it is, but it is also unsettling. I look at myself in the mirror a lot, to get used to the new me. My husband is encouraging me to get new clothes, I am going to buy cheap clothes for the interim until my weight is stable.

Edited by: FIFIFRIZZLE at: 2/16/2014 (14:07)
NICKYCRANE SparkPoints: (87,111)
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2/15/14 4:37 P

Last summer, having shed 10 kilos, I felt a bit disorientated buying clothes. I explained that I had lost weight and wasn't sure what fit me. That was OK.
One friend told me not to lose any more. She was right. I was 2 1/2 kilos below my original goal, and decided I wanted to be 1/2 kilo heavier. Since then, though I have watched the scale, I concentrate on getting firmer and fitter. And now I can get comfortably into the nice pair of summer trousers that was too tight for me last year! I gave away a favourite dress. I felt it was too old to be worth having it taken in. I bought other favourite dresses. They are one size fits all, but they show off my new elegant figure nicely! In fact a neighbour got one, and discovered that it might fit her, but it showed her figure up disastrously.
I do need some new bras, but they will have to wait till next time I go to England. (I live in Albania).
I put on about 3.5 of the 10 kilos I had lost. mostly during a month's holiday in Germany, and it's taking a long time to shed them. Another 1/2 kilo to go! Even so, I'm slimmer than I have been for decades, and fitter maybe than I have ever been. I really enjoy wearing the ski pants my sister bought me, that were too uncomfortably tight for me to wear until last year. They are now comfortably baggy!

2/15/14 3:54 P

I'm down 80 pounds of a planned 110, and I've been struggling with this same issue! Thanks everyone for sharing - at least I'm not the only one who's having trouble adapting. A lot of my self-image was tied up in being heavy - the funny fat kid, you know? Also, a lot of the positive attention I've received so far has made me uncomfortable - I like to stay in the background, a lot of the time. So it's taking a lot of adjusting, and although I'm happy to be stronger and fitter, there's a lot of self-image changes that haven't caught up. Glad it's not just me.

ASCHU2 Posts: 78
2/15/14 12:40 P

It took my brain about a year to catch up to my size 6/8 body. I didn't spend long at 12/14 or 10/12, but I spent a long time at 8/10, so I did lots of "whoa" moments. Pictures help, trying on a few old clothes once in a while helped, and lots of shopping for new stuff helped. I still have a daily "whoa" moment, but it's not a total surprise every morning in the mirror, it's more like a "walking by a reflective surface" thing. Your brain will catch up, promise. I still feel like my 18/20 self once in a rare while.

EABL81 SparkPoints: (197,353)
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2/15/14 10:58 A

First of all, congratulations on your wonderful progress! You should be very proud of your hard-earned success.

Our self-perceptions around body-image can definitely be skewed, as I've found out on my journey. I carried the extra weight around for decades, dropping a few pounds, but then adding more. When I finally started losing the weight for real, I still found myself buying (smaller) clothes that were still too large for me. It took me several tries, as well as the help of a friend, to get it right. I think having someone with you that you trust to tell you the truth when you shop really helps.

I'm now at a very healthy weight, well within the "normal" BMI for my height, and am finally quite pleased with the way I look. What I find really funny, is that an initial weight gain in my 20's (I had a very underweight childhood), spurred the first of many yo-yo diets. I was just not used to seeing myself at a normal weight and therefore I assumed I was fat. That was 40 years ago. What was that weight that triggered the reaction? The same exact weight that I am now! Wish I'd known then...

I have also had a few people tell me that I'm too thin, and many say, "Don't lose anymore." I don't intend to, but it took some getting used to hearing people comment on my weight loss as though it was something scary. Then I realized that it would take some time for others to adjust to the new me as well. So, it's important to realize that others may also have a skewed body image of us as well, based on what they're used to seeing.

Because of these body perception issues, I think it's best to use more than just appearance when determining a "good" weight. How you feel physically and emotionally is important, too, as is some external guideline such as body fat index, or BMI. And, of course, consultation with your physician. Who knew that losing the weight could be so complicated? But it sure is worth a little confusion!

LULUBELLE65 SparkPoints: (37,106)
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2/15/14 10:09 A

I wear clothes that are too big some of the time, but I've tossed out the really big ones. What I think makes a huge difference though, is getting a properly fitted bra. Go in to Nordstroms or a proper lingerie store, not VS, and have them fit you for a bra. It's a little invasive, but the last time I had it done I found out I was wearing bras that were too big in the band and too small in the cup. When I put on a properly fitting one, I looked 10 pounds thinner.

VUKELK Posts: 623
2/15/14 9:56 A

I'm still waiting for this to happen. It's a slow process but I am determined. I have many containers of smaller clothes stored that I would love to wear. It will happen and I must be patient, focused and keep moving forward. I always love the advise and words of wisdom from others!

MYTHINISINSIGHT SparkPoints: (917)
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2/15/14 9:48 A

Thanks for sharing your perspectives on this topic. I lost 30 pounds, and then gained it all back. And I think part of the problem I had was that the extra attention I was receiving made me uncomfortable and I just had a really difficult time accepting myself in my changing body. I'm back on the path now, and I'm going to work a lot harder at journaling and accepting myself - because in reality, it really doesn't matter how others see me - it's my health and well being and my OWN perspective that's important - so I'll be working to change my own vision of myself as out of shape and overweight to fit and healthy. (I ran a 10 mile race last year, finished it - near the end but not last - and still saw myself as out of shape. How messed up is THAT?)

ANNIEONLI SparkPoints: (84,290)
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2/15/14 5:16 A

It takes time....I have been Sparking for 6 years, Maintaining the lowest and final weight for the last 3 or 4 years...and yet, I still have those moments of "oh, my gosh, I fit into this now?" and pictures of me today, still send my brain into "Is that really me?" And we are talking yeeeeeeaaaaars now. It just takes time.

Then there is the transition of others who only remember you as heavy and those who met you only as thin - that is another head-trip all unto itself.

Just be true to you and take each transition as it comes. Rejoice in the new you!!! Remember the old you as a learning experience. emoticon

2/14/14 4:17 P

Aren't our self-perceptions odd? I remember years ago thinking that I needed to lose weight and looking back at those pictures, I see a person who is, in reality, plenty thin. Conversely, for a while it was so easy to convince myself that I was simply drying my clothes too hot and they were shrinking. (Seriously.)

I think that you should take a few pictures to keep handy when you're feeling disconnected with your new body. I think we see our bodies for what they really are a lot better when we're looking at pictures as though we're looking at someone else. Find an old picture of you and take a new picture of you wearing that same outfit. Keep them together for comparison. Take some more pictures of you in new clothes that fit you well. When you're doubting your new reality, pull them out and ask yourself, "Is that a big woman? No. That's a woman who has worked very hard to get healthy and fit. That's a fit woman."

What you're feeling is very common. I can't find it but there was an article on the front cover of Time or a similar magazine a few years ago that was about being suddenly skinny and the struggles related to adapting to your changed body.

BLISS2014 SparkPoints: (6,898)
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2/14/14 12:22 P

emoticon I want to thank each of you members, who are sharing on this important topic of body image, and acceptance of yourself as a person of normal weight. So much more is known today about the process of shedding excess weight, and learning to "embrace the curves" along the way. Quite a while back I truly suffered through the emotional highs and lows of goal maintenance. That was long before people were willing to admit that there is more to weight loss than losing weight. I was experiencing EVERYTHING THAT EACH OF YOU ARE SHARING, but I had NO ONE WHO COULD TELL ME THAT THIS IS A NORMAL RESPONSE TO SIGNIFICANT LIFE CHANGE! I handled my weight loss so poorly. I believe that I disliked the person that I became when I was thin; I just did not know how to do it gracefully. I want to learn from what you all are doing, so that I can give myself permission to get down to goal again. I believe that by using the tools of SparkPeople, and learning from others, I can succeed in areas that baffled me before. PLEASE KEEP THIS CONVERSATION GOING FOR YOURSELF and for people like me who need to learn how to resolve these same issues, so that we too can find some freedom. emoticon

PRETTYPITHY SparkPoints: (79,497)
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2/14/14 10:56 A

Great thread. I lost 70 pounds and felt great. And looked great. But my mind wouldn't accept it. I've since regained 15 pounds. I wasn't at goal but looking at the photos, I looked as well as I have in my entire life. And I couldn't really accept it or appreciate it because I was so accustomed to being dissatisfied with my appearance and always chasing the high of more weight loss. I think, when I re-lose the 15 pounds, I may just declare myself "done" with weight loss for the time being. All of which is to say, sometimes it helps to slow down and reflect. I wish I hadn't regained 15 pounds but at least now I will know to be happy and to do the mental work of accepting myself at that weight.

SONGBIRD2013 Posts: 175
2/14/14 10:15 A

@JAMIRBLAZE - You hit the nail on the head. My daughter and I started down this road together a little more than a year ago and we've each lost a lot of weight. We both feel like an imposter in the "regular size" area of a store. I still have about 30 pounds to go, but I'm smaller than I've been in I can't remember when. New clothes that fit help a lot. But I still have those "fat" days where I feel like nothing has changed.

Thanks for this discussion. It was so needed this morning.

DEANNA0725 SparkPoints: (22,611)
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2/14/14 8:03 A

It took me over a year and a half to lose 70 pounds and I still cannot go into a store without looking at clothes that are two or three sizes to big for me. A sales clerk in a store asked me if I needed help and I said no I am okay then she asked me very quietly and politely why i was in the plus size section of the store? It took me a few minutes to sink in that I just automatically went to that section of the store and I don't fit into clothes there anymore. She was very sweet when I told her that my brain hasn't caught up with my weight loss yet!

VARELSE Posts: 69
2/14/14 8:00 A

I lost 70 pounds just over 3 years ago, and I still haven't fully adjusted. At least most of the unsolicited comments have finally died down. To some degree it just takes time.

You sort of have to move into your new body in the same way you would move into a brand new house of your own after living most of your life in a tiny, crowded apartment. It does help to discard your old clothes and buy new ones that fit you. If budget is a problem, try to find them at garage sales or thrift stores. Also, try experimenting a bit with your hair, clothes and accessories. Be adventurous and put together some new looks, preferably with at least some colors or styles you haven't tried before. This is more affordable and less risky if you shop second-hand.

RENATARUNS SparkPoints: (4,367)
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2/14/14 7:58 A

@ Exotec -- it may sound superficial, but I would highly suggest to go ahead and buy some new things that fit properly now. Hit up a thrift store or buy the cheapest clearance stuff you can find if you need to, but man -- it makes a big difference.

For me, when I hit the low 170s (about the time my thumbnail picture was taken), I was feeling SO great about myself and how I looked. The smallest clothes that had been left in my closet all fit like a dream, I felt so much better, I loved that nothing I wore was binding, nothing was sagging off of me, it was great. And then I lost another 5-10 pounds and I felt like hell. Same great clothes, same person, but wearing them I looked like a total slob. Wearing oversized clothes to hide the rolls and the weight gain -- that was the old me, and lookign at myself in the mirror or feeling myself wearing those ill-fitting clothes, that's how it made me feel. Around 160 pounds I finally broke down and bought myself a few new things and it made a world of difference. I was fine after that, always having at least one or two things floating around that fit well was all it took.

So anyway, I highly recommend it.

CLAYARTIST Posts: 3,277
2/13/14 10:09 P


MARYBETH4884 SparkPoints: (145,487)
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2/13/14 8:00 P

I too have lost a significant amount of weight and I am having a difficult time adjusting to my smaller size. Nothing seems to fit right. Finding the right size is frustrating, trying to gauge what size I'll be at goal in 20 pounds. I'm tired of swimming in my clothes. Everyone seems to have an opinion good or bad about my loss. I just try and focus on how much better I feel! That's why I did this. I wanted to be healthier and better able to live my life with those I love. Catching a glimpse of a much smaller me in a passing mirror is just an added perk.

PEGGIE0203 Posts: 780
2/13/14 5:11 P

Wow! I thought I was the only one with this issue. I can relate to so many things people have said here, from having people say I'm losing too much weight to getting hit on (in my 40's), to hating hearing people exclaim about how much weight I've lost.
I have gone shopping for jeans so many times when I went home empty handed. I finally decided last week I wasn't quitting until I found 2 pair that fit well. It literally took me hours of trying on pants, but I finally did it. Part of the problem is vanity sizing, but mind-set is also an issue.
I often am pleasantly surprised when I look in the mirror now, whereas I used to avoid mirrors.
I am encouraged by the comment that it takes some people 2 years for their brain to adjust after weight loss. I'm sure maintenance will be easier when I have gotten used to my new size.

EXOTEC Posts: 3,327
2/13/14 4:28 P

I'm not sure how I'm going to adapt, once I get to my goal.
So far, I've lost so much that even though my total body weight is greatly reduced, the "excess baggage" in terms of redundant tissue which isn't truly even "me" any more hasn't permitted too much along the lines of visible weight loss to others. I get comments now and then from close friends or family that they "can see it in my face" -- but I still wear some of my "fat clothes" (not all) even though many of them hang off of me like sacks. I'm just not going to buy lots of interim clothing that I'll have to replace again eventually. The ones which I can't make fit at all are donated. The ones I can still force to stay on me, I will wear until I have to donate them, too. Probably another part of this is that I just loathe shopping. I'll put it off for any reason as long as I can.

Body image? I don't know. Right now, I'm hating it. I look like an elephant in the final stages of starvation. Saggy skin everywhere. And I do mean EVERYwhere. Yuk.
Hopefully this will improve once I get to my goal and can get the body reconstruction I'm told will be necessary. Until then, I have no concept of a new, smaller me.

JAMIRBLAZE Posts: 1,826
2/13/14 3:11 P

I struggle with this, too. I'd never been a healthy weight. I was always the fat kid. I weighed over 250 lbs when I graduated high school. In college, I lost without really trying and hovered around 220 lbs until I graduated. I went to grad school, and consciously lost and ended up at 175-ish and a size 12. I felt really comfortable here, but did some gaining and losing around this weight for 4-5 years.

Two years ago, I committed to becoming a healthy weight, and I'm now in maintenance at 140 lbs and a size 4. Maintenance is new, but the size has been for a few months. I like where I am at, I don't want to lose more weight, and plenty of people tell me that I'm too thin. Sometimes, I still feel like an impostor in the "small" section, and I'm still a fat girl at heart. Hopefully, over time, I'll have a better idea of my actual size, but I'm trying to focus more on being healthy versus being skinny.

FITTEREVERYDAY SparkPoints: (29,150)
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2/13/14 2:11 P

I definitely am going to join the maintenance teams when I get there. It's going to be an adjustment for me to weigh what I did in my early twenties now in my early thirties (at my current rate I'll probably see my goal by 32).

RAWCOOKIE Posts: 13,057
2/13/14 2:02 P

I can relate to this even at lower weights - I was around 140lbs - which felt very heavy for me - and I lost 30lbs over about 18 months. My best friend said I was getting 'too skinny' and another person remarked 'where have you gone?!' - I gradually put back 10lbs - which I'm now trying to take off again. So, even though I'm not 'overweight' - staying slim has eluded me! Now I'm going it much more slowly, with, as others have said, the exercise for strength and fitness as well, and trying to keep in touch with myself as I get smaller. I find the teams on here very helpful too.

2/13/14 1:49 P

I too lost over 100 pounds. I hit goal range in October, and I still am not used to it. People are starting to calm down as far as their opinions. They always move onto something else.
Some days I feel bigger or smaller than I am. I hear it takes a long time to get used to. It feels weird. One thing I did when I got within 20 pounds of what I thought might be my goal weight was join the maintenance teams..."At Goal & Maintaining + Transition to Maintenance" and "Losers Keepers". I'm really glad I did...they really help.

JEWELMOTI SparkPoints: (0)
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2/13/14 1:44 P

I don't know if I will ever lose the heavy mentality. Mentally I know that I am thin, but occasionally, emotionally I still see that fat lady. I have to catch myself. It is a process.

GBTRACKIN Posts: 274
2/13/14 1:29 P

I can totally relate. I've lost 115, and the last time I weighed by current weight I was half my age, 22. No matter how many laps I make it around the track, 22 is not coming back. I'm 25-30 pounds from my goal, and I don't necessarily feel fat, but I do have a sense of being haunted by the fat shadow that will likely never leave my side, and I will need to continue to work very hard to keep her at bay.

I try and focus on things I can do now that I couldn't do several months ago, or even when I weighed less than I do now. I'm both mentally and physically stronger and I want to make sure I keep it that way.

LKG9999 Posts: 1,747
2/13/14 1:07 P

First of all, congratulations to the OP and all others who have done so well losing weight.

I have lost 43 pounds in the past 4.5 months and am also struggling a bit mentally. I'm much happier and more comfortable that I was when I was 43 pounds heavier, but since I haven't reached my final goal of 54 pounds I feel like I'm not "there" yet and still somewhat heavy. It likely doesn't help that very few people outside of my boyfriend have noticed or commented on my weight loss. I suspect it will take years of being a smaller size to stop feeling like I'm just "visiting" with my smaller body.

Edited by: LKG9999 at: 2/13/2014 (13:08)
AIMLESS_AM Posts: 2,242
2/13/14 12:20 P

I've had a lot of people remark that I look "skinny" lately, which is a word I never have applied to myself and never really wanted to. Whenever that happens, I kind of have to do a head check and remind myself that I'm not doing this for vanity's sake, but because I want to be healthy and live a full and active life. The compliments are nice and I definitely appreciate them, but I love being guided by my new strength and not my new looks!

FITTEREVERYDAY SparkPoints: (29,150)
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2/13/14 10:40 A

I think it does take some time to adapt. I'm losing very slowly so no issue there but I gained fairly fast and I wasn't really what you would call heavy until a few years ago and so I was still grabbing mediums off the clothing racks thinking they'd fit. I still do sometimes... I'd imagine if you lost faster than me you might have the same issue with losing. In my experience the oddness dissipates with time.

AELI2468 Posts: 3,884
2/13/14 9:21 A

A therapist I had a while ago told me it can take the brain up to two years to adapt to what you are physically now. Which is why I think when you lose a significant amount of what (congrats!!) it can take a very long time for you to "realize" that's your new reality. I have also lost about 80 lbs over the last 2-3 years, and have the same issue. It's hard to wrap my head around fitting into size 8/10 clothes. But you WILL get there. :)

That same therapist also had amazing words of wisdom about your social circle when you lose a lot of weight (I had issues with mine changing). Think about a mobile (like one for child that swings around randomly). Think about your family/friends as each pieces of the mobile. When you lose weight (especially a significant amount), you tip the balance of the mobile and everyone else has to shift as well...for good or bad. I have had some people be really supportive of me losing weight; and others were definitely threatened by it.

Hope this helps! But congrats again on the weight loss!!!

VAINVT Posts: 8,704
2/13/14 7:36 A

One of things you said struck a chord with me, and that is the ability to maintain my weight. In the past, I lost weight and then slowly regained it. Now, I exercise, eat predominantly health food, and weigh myself every day that I can. I recently gook a trip to Philadelphia and when I returned my weight was right where it had been when I left. That is such a gift for me.
It is much healthier for you to be thin and fit, so it is wise to ignore all those 'too skinny' comments and find what is right for you. There's another benefit - learning to quell those comments and discovering you true self.
Congratulations to you!

SPARKLISE SparkPoints: (0)
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2/13/14 6:15 A

I have family telling me I am getting too skinny also.
I think it's because,like us,they have to adapt.
Funny but when I show my before picture to people, no one can remember me that big. Lol
Probably because I took a long time to lose the weight.

It does take us a while to get used to our new image,but I think that even then there are days we still "feel" fat.

Keep up the good work! emoticon

RUSSELL_40 Posts: 16,826
2/12/14 11:59 P

I don't think I look much thinner at 187, than I did at 361, even though my clothes are 14" smaller at waist, and I can read a scale. The best thing that let's me know I am healthier, is doing things that others who I deem to be healthy do. I recently played basketball non-stop for an hour with 5 of my friends, and wasn't tired. This was huge for me, but I don't feel " light ", or even normal size.

I don't know if I ever will, but I find myself pushing myself to do things that I know I couldn't have done 5 years ago, like recently trying pull-ups. I haven't been able to do 1 since about 6th grade, but I can do 2 sets of 10 now.

Maybe testing yourself will help. Take the new you out for a test drive. Sign up for some 5 K's, or some other thing that today you think " That would be REALLY hard! ", and then go do it. It is all mental, but after 5 years, it is the best I can do.

Jillian Michaels said in her book that we should lose weight to live life. Most of us have a goal weight, and that is the goal, but now that we are 100 + lbs. lighter, why did we lose the weight? To be 100 lbs. lighter? Not really, although it is nice to shop in a regular store, or at the mall. We never set physical goals for when we would be at goal, because it was so far away, that even what was possible was unknown to us.

So stop, and make a list of what you think healthy people can do, and then show yourself that you can do them, and ARE healthy. It can be as simple as being able to fit in a roller coaster, or finishing a triathlon. It varies for us all, but most of us are just living the same life 100 lbs. lighter. We exercise a little more, and eat better, but otherwise losing the weight did nothing to change our lives.

If you DID have a picture of what the healthy you was going to do, go do them, and see if you can now do them. I have to go make my own

SAMMI-SAM SparkPoints: (26,311)
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2/12/14 10:43 P

now my family says i'm to thin at 146.

HCORNETTO SparkPoints: (18,405)
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Posts: 145
2/12/14 10:24 P

It does take time. I know that no matter how much I had lost, when I looked in the mirror, I still saw the bumps, the lumps, and the folds. I couldn't see the shrinking waist and belly, or the newly defined shoulders and biceps. I knew logically that the number on the scale was good, as was the pants/dress size I was in, but I still looked and saw something different.

I have only recently started to pause when I look in the mirror and smile. I find myself standing there longer and feeling a small sense of pride when looking at my body, and the way that my old clothes fit me now.

SIMONEKP Posts: 2,764
2/12/14 9:58 P

I look in the mirror a lot and take selfies and really look at them. it takes a while.

TBOURLON SparkPoints: (19,190)
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2/12/14 4:33 P

That's interesting, Lulugirl, I think I've got the opposite problem. I've gained back 10+ lbs over the past year, and no one seems to notice except me. I can't cross my legs anymore, I can't wear half my clothes (and worry about splitting some of the ones I can wear), and I've got this "spare tire" around my waist that didn't used to be there. I really hate it and am back on the diet "wagon," but everyone acts like I'm just some vain crybaby. Even at this current weight, there are lots of people who see me as "small" and say things like "what are you complaining about?" See above. Yes you're right, I AM more than a number on the scale, but for some reason that number is very important. Maybe I'm just obsessed, it's hard to know what a "normal" reaction is.

LULUGIRL Posts: 45
2/12/14 4:18 P

Congratulations on your weight loss! I can't imagine what an adjustment you are going through! I do know that even when I lose just 10 pounds, people treat me differently. And quite frankly, I don't exactly enjoy it!

This past year I gained 10 pounds, lost it, then gained approximately 12 or 13 pounds, due to taking steroids and being quite ill. Now that the weight is finally coming off, it really is difficult to handle people's reaction. Frankly, the worst hang-up I have is with my husband's constant comments! He thinks he is being supportive, I guess, or thinks I want to hear his opinion, but after a while, no one wants to be scrutinized!

I wish people would just let us "be ourselves" without making such a fuss! I almost prefer having the extra weight so my female friends wouldn't say I am getting "too skinny" and my husband would quit trying to shower me with compliments. He comes home from work and wants to spin me around and make silly comments. Suddenly, I feel like I am fair-game for anyone to evaluate! Wouldn't it be a better world if everyone wasn't so wrapped up in appearances? Sometimes I want to shout that WE ARE MUCH MORE THAN A NUMBER ON A SCALE, and PLEASE, QUIT JUDGING ME! But then again, we should be gracious, right? So, we smile, and try to endure being the subject of another silly weight discussion while we adapt to our smaller selves. I think this is one of my BIGGEST problems, dealing with this very issue, and I am glad you brought it up. Over the last two weeks, as my size 4 jeans have slipped back on, my self-confidence and usual good humor has seemed to disappear. I just want to do my thing without being the focus of everyone's notice! Sometimes I want to throw on my bigger sweats and cover up the weight loss so people will not notice.

2/12/14 3:58 P

By all means, GO SHOPPING! emoticon

DANAG22 Posts: 741
2/12/14 3:44 P

Thanks everyone! emoticon I guess it will take time for my brain to wrap around all of this and get use to being a thin me. It feels so surreal never thought I would regain control of my life and get to where I always wanted to be. As for my family who are mostly overweight they say to me now I'm too small and I better not getting any smaller. I've told them I'm not finished completing my journey yet as it's a big shock to them as well they will have to just get use to the "new and improved me" because I won't allow myself to go back to where I was.

BRANDESKA SparkPoints: (43,246)
Fitness Minutes: (22,824)
Posts: 61
2/12/14 2:23 P

I've definitely struggled with this as well. When I lost weight in the past and was a size 6, I still didn't really believe I was a thin person. I would catch my reflection in every window I walked by, I wouldn't wear a bathing suit without shorts covering my butt, etc. I think it just takes time being at a smaller size to get used to it.

ALGEBRAGIRL Posts: 1,925
2/12/14 2:12 P

I understand this. I congratulate you on your weight loss, because it is awesome and it was intentional. At the same time, what a shock it must be! My wedding ring - from when I was a size 6 - looks like it would fit on a toddler's hand. When I look at it, I can't say, 'Gee, what I wouldn't give to have that tiny finger...' That feeling just is not there. For some reason (having to do probably with a long marriage and two kids), the desire to be little can't be conjured up. I don't want to be 'big,' but I want to be something that feels good to me. That's what matters.

2/12/14 1:28 P

I understand this feeling. I recently took a carload of my old big clothes to a thrift store, and that was a big symbolic step forward.

When you go from being obese to being a normal, confident person who isn't hiding all the time, you get a lot more positive attention in the world. It can almost be uncomfortable for a reserved person. It's taken awhile for my self-image to catch up with my external reality. Getting hit on, too -- weird when you're a formerly fat middle-aged married woman. It's flattering but..... weird.

It certainly is better to look in the mirror once in awhile and be pleasantly surprised than it is to avoid all mirrors and photos because you know you'll hate what you see.

Edited by: CALLMECARRIE at: 2/12/2014 (13:29)
SUSAN727 Posts: 1,880
2/12/14 1:24 P

I would think it would be a wonderful adventure.

CARRIENIGN SparkPoints: (101,272)
Fitness Minutes: (85,633)
Posts: 493
2/12/14 1:22 P

I'm way more fit than I ever would have imagined. I lost almost 40 pounds over six months, have kept it off for six months now, and toned up so pretty much everything is defined and doesn't jiggle. With that being said, I still see the same person in the mirror that I have always seen. It's hard to change your mental image of yourself, just like it takes time for the people in your life to adapt their image they've always had of you. The things that confirm the changes for me are things like clothing sizes and visible muscle definition and the scale. Sometimes, I stare at myself in the mirror or take pictures and look at them because it still doesn't seem real. I'm sure it would appear vain to an onlooker, but it's just me still trying to wrap my brain around it. There's so much mentalness that comes with all this!

TBOURLON SparkPoints: (19,190)
Fitness Minutes: (64,244)
Posts: 522
2/12/14 12:13 P

Wow, that's tremendous! I'd start with clothes shopping - and take a trusted friend with you, someone who will say "yeah, that fits" or "no, that's too big." I worked with a lady who lost a fair amount of weight, got downright skinny in fact, but was used to wearing big, loose clothes. For her wearing something that actually fit felt like she was wearing something too tight! But she did get used to wearing smaller clothes, and I think it helped her maintain the weight loss. Believe me, the first thing I'm going to do when I re-lose 15 lbs is buy a new pair of jeans! emoticon emoticon

RENATARUNS SparkPoints: (4,367)
Fitness Minutes: (2,155)
Posts: 1,379
2/12/14 10:51 A

Assuming you're exercising maybe you can get around it by thinking of yourself as a *fit* person -- something that's not as tied to body size -- instead of either fat or skinny. I didn't lose as much weight as you have, but after 8 months at my current size I still occasionally do a double-take when seeing my reflection unexpectedly. It takes time.

LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,135)
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
Posts: 2,744
2/12/14 9:35 A

Congrats on your amazing progress! I didn't lose as much as you (only about 30 lbs over 2-3 years) but I'm pretty sure the image that I have of my body in my head is about 15lbs heavier than what I am now. There was a forum thread on a similar topic not too long ago and my general takeaway from it was that yes, our perception of ourselves generally lags behind what we actually look like, but you can't let that guide your decision making. For me, rather than focusing on my size, I focus on all of the fitness gains I have made since I restarted working out seriously. That gives me confidence because in the gym I know I am a highly capable, strong woman and I can carry that image (regardless of size) with me for the rest of the day.

DANAG22 Posts: 741
2/12/14 9:28 A

Hi All,
I'm at the lowest weight I have been in a very long time. I can't even remember being this small maybe grade school. I've lost a total to date 102lbs. My weight fluctuated in the past, I would lose regain lose regain. Up until 4 months ago I've busted through a plateau and now I'm at an all time low fitting into a size 6 coming from a size 22 when I was at 260lbs. So my question is how does one adapt? In my mind I'm still thinking I'm fat. Granted I have 20lbs to get to my goal but I perceive myself to be the fat girl like I use to be. Any words of advice would greatly be appreciated. Thanks!!!

Edited by: DANAG22 at: 2/12/2014 (09:29)
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