Uncomfortable. I'm rarely interested and I'm horrible at being assertive and turning the guy down. So, I usually end up stuck in awkward conversations that I want nothing to do with or making some lame excuse to get away from the guy. Oops!
12/6/12 3:41 P
It's been so long I can't remember....
Fitness Minutes: (547)
12/6/12 3:38 P
Confused, embarassed. I'm sort of socially inept so I don't really understand why they're doing it, much less how to react..
I always get hit on, even by younger guys. I wouldn't mind if it was someone I knew and liked or was attracted to. But these guys are all in the "it'll will never be possible" category, for one reason or another. Then I find it offensive and creepy!
Fitness Minutes: (49,819)
4,739 12/4/12 10:58 P
You should NEVER allow yourself to be in that position. If he does it once, he'll do it again. My childhood sucked because of this & I vowed NEVER to live like this.
Annoyed, because it's always men twenty years older than me, and/or completely objective like "Nice a**" or something to that effect or wolf whistling.
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
3,293 12/3/12 3:36 P
Well, I've always gotten hit on a lot, even when I was quite heavy. Three times in one day once, when I weighed about 250! I've also spent a large part of my life living in Latin America, where the whole culture of flirting is much more overt than it is in the United States. So, I am used to it, and don't usually find it awkward or bothersome. I tend to enjoy it most of the time. It's a compliment and you don't really need to DO anything with it.
However, with my last ten pounds of weight loss, somehow things have become more intense and more confusing. Like the OP, I also have some long-term, totally platonic male friends who are suddenly looking at me differently, acting differently around me and interacting with me in different ways. In one case, the friend is someone I have known for more than ten years--he knew me when I was much thinner than I am now, but he has never acted attracted to me before. He is probably the best and nicest person that I know and we are close, but we've never been affectionate with each other at all in the past. Suddenly he is flirting with me and can't keep his hands off of me. It's nice, but odd.
I am the same person inside, but the way people perceive me is shifting. It's strange to realize that even for someone who is not a shallow person and someone who always cared about me no matter how much I weighed (like the friend I mention above) the weight loss still makes a big difference. Part of me wants to be disappointed in human nature, but as I look at my before-and-after pictures, I realize that this is just reality.
I totally agree with YMUnderwood. Really, it can be flattering, but I am sure to show my ring, either way. I don't usually engage them in conversation.
Yes. Big chicks get hit on, too.
Fitness Minutes: (224,101)
18,795 12/3/12 2:24 P
It depends on how they do it, someimes it's a good feeling and sometimes it very annoying.
Fitness Minutes: (4,464)
379 12/3/12 2:06 P
I've only lost a few pounds but a couple inches. I notice guys hit on me a little more. It is flattering!
Fitness Minutes: (126,640)
12/3/12 2:01 P
usually surprised. Sometimes this isn't good for the poor guy, because my reaction is probably not what he expected.
once XH & I went to his favorite bar. He headed to the restroom as soon as we walked in. I knew the girl tending bar that night, so I went over to the bar. When I sat down, a guy at the other end said, "can I buy you a drink?" I busted out laughing. I didn't know people really said that. I thought that was just in movies.
another time some pimply kid working at Kroger was making a very lame attempt at hitting on me. I just gave him one of these looks and went on about my shopping. I felt like asking if he was even old enough to drive yet!
Fitness Minutes: (121,751)
12/3/12 1:43 P
Fat or thin, when you get to a "certain age", it doesn't happen very often any more... so I miss it!
Fitness Minutes: (11,119)
12/3/12 1:39 P
If it ever happens I will let you know.
12/3/12 12:39 P
It totally depends on who it is... When some random stranger on the street tried to hit on me, I just get skeeved out by it. However, most of the time I am oblivious to the fact someone is trying to hit on me unless someone points it out or they make it super obvious. I've got to get better about handling that.
Fitness Minutes: (104,090)
1,404 12/3/12 11:55 A
Generally I'm flattered. It's good for the self esteem. However, the crude ones never flatter me.
It depends on how it was given here are two I had. One was an absolute compliment and made me smile, the other made me mad and I wanted to tell him off but he looked like he might hit me if I did.
The one I liked is when I was in the store getting a drink from the machine, a handsome business man looked over and said I should have known you were married, all the beautiful ones are,.I seen you walk in when I drove into the parking lot, would you happen to have a single sister that looks like you? I liked it :)
The one I hated was a guy telling me I have a nice ass. It made me mad! :( No class! He continued more talk but I played deaf ear to him all the way through. Then he asked what you stuck up, too good to talk? I ignored that too. He was getting mad I was ignoring him that was the good part.
Fitness Minutes: (120)
12/2/12 12:36 P
Pretty good, but I also regress into awkward teenager and have no idea what to say. I also do feel a little taken aback also, as I was never the type that guys hit on in the bar or anything, even when I was smaller 7 years ago, unless you count drunk ones that would make rude remarks about my chest size.
We were at a country show on Friday night and BF went to the bar to get some drinks. While he was gone, this rodeo cowboy who was super cute bumped into me while walking by, so I jabbed him with my elbow (not nice but I was tired of people bumping into me), and he looked at me at first like I was nuts but then after he saw me he started talking to me and invited me to go to his rodeo the next day LOL I was super awkward throughout the whole exchange and towards the end told him I had a boyfriend and he was like "oh, well he can come too" but then he left.
I will say I felt pretty darn good about myself though, and I told BF about it and he was super nice to me, more clingy than he normally is, and complimenting me the rest of the night, haha!
This question is particularly for people who have lost weight and are noticing that men are now paying more attention to them.
I've noticed that men hit on me now more than they did before, and I'm not always sure how to handle it. I'm also noticing that guy friends/acquaintances are now more interested in me and in general, pay more attention to me. Not that it's happening all the time, but it's definitely more than it used to.
Often I just feel shocked and taken aback- especially if it's a guy that I find attractive. Whenever guys are hitting on me, I always end up thinking, "I can't believe that someone actually finds me attractive.... I'm fat."
I haven't even lost all of the weight yet. If this is happening now, I can imagine that it will happen more as I continue to lose weight.