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CARILOUIE SparkPoints: (94,856)
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1/28/13 7:15 A

Our date was set by when the judge had an opening - we got our license, and got married at the courthouse when we could schedule the next opening! It was just the two of us and it was perfect. We had already bought a house together, and we had been together for 7 years before we got married.

155HEREICOME SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 271
1/28/13 1:50 A

Really embarrasing, when my step daughter, about 4, was with, my now sister in laws, were at a restaurant, and when the waitress happened to be at our table, and my step daughter, asked me, Mommy{she called me that, even though she knew I wasn't her real mom, whom had passed away, when she was under a year old}, anyways, she said mommy, when are and you daddy going to get married? Thats, when, I said, we better do something, about our situation, it was confusing, to kids,friends, etc. that was over 25 some years ago, and I will never forget that scenario

SHAZADOODLE2008 Posts: 9
1/28/13 1:49 A

A long 10year slog at a long distance relationship. Then one day (despite my love for him) I snapped. Said now or never. I'm moving on to what I want in my life-stalling no more! Another 6 years later and we are still together, under the same roof now, and happy as!

BEARLYBOO SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 816
1/28/13 1:44 A

I remember being happy and feeling secure with my now husband. I agree that it was more of just knowing.

MLAN613 Posts: 18,849
1/27/13 10:32 A

I agree with Nausikaa on this one! And it sounds like sometimes life throws deciding factors at you to speed things up in reading through what others experienced. If you know you're right for each other, then you'll know when it's right to take the plunge.

My husband and I got engaged after 3 months of dating and got married about 6 months later. (We're a little older: I am 40 now and he's 46.) We just knew and we;ve been pretty happy for the last 2 1/2 years. At least most days! emoticon

BLUBEL1 Posts: 1,003
1/26/13 7:47 A

Dated thru college. Neither of us had student loans or any debt. He got an apartment and we decided to go ahead. No engagement ring ( no debt). Bought nice wedding bands for both of us. Got married by a judge.
Been together for 41 years. Also now very comfortable financially. We travel worldwide and buy anything we want.
Go for it!!!

RONIGH Posts: 631
1/25/13 2:26 P

I met my lovely wife Rita in 2007 at a common friend's house. We started seeing each other everyday after. She threw the best birthday party anyone has ever given to me previoiusly. From that moment, I knew she was the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.

NEPTUNE1939 Posts: 17,534
1/25/13 10:04 A

When she told me she was with child emoticon

ELISAJANE57 Posts: 763
1/25/13 9:59 A

DH and I were poor starving students when we started dating. I know this is crazy but just 5 weeks into dating we already decided that marriage might be in our future. We kept dating and always joked about being secretly engaged. I knew we were not ready yet. I was only in my first year of college, unemployed and too young, only 19. DH hadn't picked a major and didn't have a decent job himself. Finally 9 months into dating I just had a strong impression that it was time. We planned a quick wedding and were married Spring break of my second year of college. I was only 20 and he was 23. We are both LDS, aka Mormon and were saving living together and intimacy for marriage. I think that is one reason Mormons get married so quickly because it's hard to wait emoticon . It just felt right and we will be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary this March. We have been together for almost 10 years and have two cute kids.

BRANDIM_81 Posts: 218
1/25/13 9:48 A

I met my husband when I was 13. We dated, the way kids do, for four years. I moved with him to his dad's place in Las Vegas, a 20 hour move for me, when I was 16. When I came home and he came with me we decided it was the right thing to do to get married instead of just "shacking up", as my grandparents called it. I loved him and he loved me and there was absolutely NO ONE else I could imagine ever being so close to in my life. We got married when I was 17 and he was 19. This year we have been married 14 years and have been together 18.....

DLDROST Posts: 8,082
1/25/13 9:44 A

I was 18. That was 33 years decision ever

AIREEULL SparkPoints: (7,128)
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Posts: 339
1/25/13 9:06 A

we kinda had to get married fast. my husband was in the marines at the time and was supposed to go to iraq in a few months. we had already been engaged for several months and after we heard the news we threw a wedding together in 3 weeks. he just wanted me to be protected if something happened to him over there.

during that time i had no doubt or questions running through my mind about whether it was the right thing to do. i just knew it was.

VICSAC Posts: 418
1/25/13 7:41 A

The Air Force decided the when.

We met while we were stationed together in Japan. He left with orders to one base in April of 1981, I left Nov of 81 with orders to another base.

Our only hope of getting an assignment together was to get married so we could get join spouse orders. We were married while I was on leave a week after I got back to the states. I then went on to my assignment. Our join spouse orders came through in April and I was able to join him.

NAUSIKAA Posts: 4,848
1/25/13 7:29 A

"What were some of the deciding factors for you, outside of love? "

None. We were (and are) in love. He asked me to marry him the 4th day after we met and I had not a shred of doubt in my mind. Years later, we are both so glad for that!

The ONLY regret in my marriage is that we didn't actually meet each other sooner (we could have if we had done some things differently, mainly this is my fault).

Why put off your own happiness?

ILMEL1957 Posts: 2,490
1/25/13 7:00 A

On Jan. 1,1974, I was at a spaghetti shop with a guy when in walks his friend. Later that night, the guy and I broke up and his friend called me for a date. I was 16 and he was 22.
We got married 4 months later and are still married and are still best friends.

I wouldn't suggest marrying that young to anyone else though. It does take work to keep a marriage fresh and interesting. Our daughter is 34 and has never married and is happy with that.

JUSTKLH Posts: 1,489
1/24/13 11:20 P

I'm kind of in the same situation as you REYNINGSUNSHINE (original poster). I am not married or engaged (yet), but the boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage for a while now. We've been together for 3 years and we recently completed a pre-engagement counseling course. I have always had a sense that he could be the one. There was no one moment that made me realize it, just his overwhelming generosity, sweet nature, and his willingness to support and protect me no matter what. I've known for at least a year and I'll be one happy lady when he does ask and we do get married.

SIMOFDIM Posts: 308
1/24/13 4:47 P

I met my husband in college, we dated for three years and we both felt it was simply the next step, and the most natural step. It was in 1991, we were married in 1992 and have been happy for almost 21 years.

JKPICKLE Posts: 267
1/24/13 4:44 P

Met October 2008, he proposed October 2009, we married October 2010.

We're meant for eachother. We moved in together after dating for three months, it was just right.. it still is. :)

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (248,775)
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1/24/13 4:33 P

I had been married before and swore I'd never make that mistake again. DH had never been married, and it was really important to him. He picked the wedding date and arranged everything.

I chased him down for a date; he chased me for a wedding. That evens things out, right?

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
1/24/13 4:31 P

When I was living with my husband before marriage I left him for two weeks because he would stay late with the guys after work without calling. I left him and he came to try and talk with me everyday, but I was playing stubborn. All along I would look out the window dying to be with him. I then finally let him talk to me two weeks later when he apologized, promised not to do that anymore and he proposed to me. With him now for 25 years and still in love.

MISSSVJS SparkPoints: (41,145)
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Posts: 1,423
1/24/13 4:24 P

We met in high school when he was a senior and I was a freshman; he's the only guy I've ever really dated and ever "been with". We got married right after I graduated from high school - that was in 1976 and we've been together ever since. We've definitely had our ups and downs, but he's my best friend and we remark that we are "joined at the hip" - we can oftentimes finish each other's sentences and will lots of times start talking about the same thing at the same time - it's a bit unnerving sometimes! I know I missed out on a lot by getting married that young, but I figure I gain a whole lot more in the long run.

TRISSA3 SparkPoints: (9,694)
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1/24/13 4:13 P

Kind of like OnlyZombieCat...engaged after three months and married six after that. (I had been engaged before to a guy that I was with off-and-on for 10 years! Never married him...) He surprised me with the ring. My roomie was in cahoots with him and helped him pick it out.

It was all about love. I had the steady job, he worked 3 part-time things as he was still at the Univ. up until a few weeks before we married. We paid for our wedding as we were late 20s and had been on our own for several years. (Not together, though.) I bought my beautiful dress at little "discount" shop. Our reception meal was picnic type items; sandwiches, chicken, baked beans, cole slaw, salads, and our cake, Nothing fancy and no one cared. My cousin and I MADE all of our flowers from my bouquet to flowers for groomsmen and my "ladies". He finally landed a good job three months after the wedding. We were lucky enough that his parents had a house we could use. He had actually been living there while in school. (They lived in another city.) We paid them rent until we could find a real place of our own. There were a lot of mac 'n cheese nights as we saved up.

Edited by: TRISSA3 at: 1/24/2013 (16:14)
GRIZ1GIRL SparkPoints: (197,400)
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Posts: 2,243
1/24/13 12:05 P

Before we moved in together, my husband & I knew we'd get married...and we got engaged 6 months after that...and married when he finished his college degree 2 years later. :)

TIG123GER SparkPoints: (77,547)
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1/24/13 10:15 A

We met my Sophomore year in college and got married as soon as I graduated (he was 2 years ahead of me). He proposed early in my Junior year. We pretty much knew within a couple of months that we were heading in that direction and here we are almost 25 years later!

QUEEN3510VA Posts: 537
1/24/13 10:11 A

Our deciding factor was when I got a job in the state where my fiance lived and we agreed we were not going to be friends with benefits.

FLIPCHICK14 Posts: 2,366
1/24/13 9:56 A

My fiance and I got engaged Summer 2012 and are getting married this year! At the time we got engaged we had been dating a little over 2.5 years. We had talked about how we knew we wanted to spend a lifetime with each other and we can't wait for our lives together to begin. Also, we didn't really want to wait too much longer because we want to have a couple years to travel and enjoy some time alone before having children. We are so in love... I cannot wait to be husband and wife!

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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1/24/13 7:13 A

The day I woke and realized that I could not imagine him in my life. We were best friends for 3 years before any dating occured. We have been married 23 years in July. I was 26 and my husband was 29. He still and always be my best friend

128PERFECT Posts: 3,026
1/24/13 7:10 A

When I saw how much love and tenderness my husband had for my really sick son. And the way that he took care of both of us at that time.

CMCOLE Posts: 2,667
1/24/13 7:07 A

Much of Kim's response echoes mine (except the pregnancy surprise).

We met in July; were engaged end of August; were married in November.
In between August and October, he was away (he was in the Navy at the time).

We had a small wedding, and we had decided to marry before he went away the following spring (Jan or Feb), again. We paid for it all, too.

This November, it will be 33 years.

LOUNMOUN Posts: 1,334
1/24/13 4:49 A

Dh and I got engaged 2 months after we met and got married about 6 months after that. We kind of mutually proposed and picked out a ring together later.

It maybe wasn't the most practical decision to marry so soon as neither one of us was in a "secure" place. Dh was 19 and I was 25 years old. A few people even told us outright that we were making a mistake and didn't know what we were doing.
We loved each other, knew we wanted to spend our lives together, and saw no reason to wait until everything looked right on paper.
A couple of months after we got engaged, we actually discovered I was pregnant and wanted to be married before our child was born. It wasn't the reason we decided to marry but it influenced the date selection.
We had a small wedding that we paid for ourselves. It was a good day.

We went through some extremely tough times financially for the first 3 years or so of our marriage but we got through it together and things got better. We have been through so many things together in 13 years and have supported and loved one another the whole way.

Of course we didn't need rings, the same last name, or a marriage certificate to be together and support each other. Neither of us were religious and I don't think either of us felt like we had to be married to be good parents to our child. No one was pressuring us to get married. I don't regret being married when we did. It felt right. I've thought about it and maybe we both had a need to create a place where we felt like we belonged.

DUBLINROSE Posts: 2,757
1/24/13 4:33 A

We were together 12 years, had bought a house and had a child before we got married. Tbh I would have been happy to live together but at the time there were no rights for couples who weren't legally married and if anything happened to either one of us the other would face a huge tax bill. That was really what made us decide to do it, not very romantic I know !!

EX-PRESSO Posts: 478
1/24/13 4:02 A

We ve been together 7 years and had a baby when we decided to move to another country.
And I told him, that I do not leave all behind, all my social network, family, work without any security.
Not very romantic. He is NOT romantic, so I bought our wedding-bands and organized everything. He do not like changes and so he did not like the idea of getting married (hey, it worked, so why change?)

Now, 8 years later, he say it was the best thing we could have done and he regrets that we waited so long. He LOVES being married.

I still got my problems that I "blackmailed" him into a wedding :/ but thats my problem, not his.

REYNINGSUNSHINE SparkPoints: (20,387)
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Posts: 523
1/24/13 2:25 A

Marriage is something that my boyfriend and I have been talking about a lot for the past few months. I know he has already bought the engagement ring (we had to get me sized... and we're both terrible with secrets and surprises), and now it's really just about the "when," which for us... is "really anytime after our second anniversary..." The actual date of the marriage would be way more set in stone, I think, because finances change drastically for married couples, and we don't think it would be fiscally responsible to start that while we are still in the "accumulate lots of debt" portion of our lives.

Marriage and engagement seems to always be all over the place... people who know each other for a month, people who were good friends for YEARS and then dated for a a couple months... people who date for 5+ years before they get engaged... and then some people have long engagements, others only just as long as it takes to plan the wedding!

What were some of the deciding factors for you, outside of love?

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