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ANGELCITYGAL SparkPoints: (38,869)
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7/16/14 2:41 A


ARADAMS86 SparkPoints: (2,885)
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7/15/14 12:03 P

I never expected to get the great responses that I did. It really uplifted my spirites to know that I am not the only on that feels the way that I do. I was doing so good, lost 40 pounds from May 2013-October 2013. Then it all came to a screeching hault. I was diagnosed with I.R. (insulin resistence) and put on metformin. The doctors told me that I need this medication because the IR would prevent me from losing weight and that it would cause me to have Type 2 Diabetes. Everything that I eat, turns into fats and sugars and my body cannot process it right and stores it as fat in my middle section. And that is where the "apple" shape comes from. I know this is where I started feeling that my life was over right there. The depression hit and then came the emotional eating. And then came the weight. I gained 15 pounds back and then in January I decided to join spark to see if it would help. It did, for a while (lost most of my weight), and then stress and family issues started happening. Along with some pretty severe side effects from the medication the doctors have prescribed me. And boom the weight came crashing back.
I have taken the great advice that each of you have given to me and I am applying it as we speak. I have made an appointment to see if maybe there is something else that I can take that doesnt cause the side effects that I am having. I have also taken my post-it notes down at home that I thought would help motivated me, but now i realize are doing more harm than good.
I am creating a walking journal and have decided that I shouldnt be afraid to eat, that i need to take steps in the right direction to see the light and it will take time. I took a 2 hour walk last night with my daughter, and when we came home, i caught myself looking for the scale to see if i lost even a pound. I have packed my scale away and have decided that I will only do monthly weigh ins.

So to everyone of you, I thank you deeply for your advice.

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,859)
Fitness Minutes: (48,271)
Posts: 2,449
7/14/14 4:59 P


KATHARINA01 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 530
7/14/14 8:18 A

You've already gotten some great advise, which I agree with 100%. So all I'm going to say is that nobody is meant to be fat or skinny or anything in between. For some people it is easier to be skinny, some people gain weight really easily (I definitely fall into that category), but ultimately we chose how we look by how much effort we are willing to put into it. You aren't meant to be heavy, you aren't meant to be skinny. You are you and if you want to become more healthy, you have the strength to do the things you need to do in order to achieve your goals.

If you are still looking for SP buddies, take a look at my page and feel free to friend me. I also recommend that you activate your SP page and maybe take up blogging. It is a great way to meet more people here

ANGELCITYGAL SparkPoints: (38,869)
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Posts: 1,724
7/13/14 11:38 P

LOVE4KITTIES, you said it so, so beautifully. A thousand times what you said! emoticon emoticon

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,690
7/13/14 6:26 P

Oh, sweetie, I know what you are going through and I understand. I truly do. I'm in my 40s now, but I was obese for more than 20 years of my adult life (the weight just started piling on when I was in my early 20s). My highest weight was 272 lbs. BUT...I lost some weight on my own and Spark People helped me lose about 80 lbs more.

I spent so many years waiting for help or support or motivation or...anything to help me. Anyone or anything... Just like you, I had so many issues and fears related to my weight and I was SO hard on myself. I gave up over 20 years of my life to obesity and I KNOW what you are talking about when you talk about the self-isolation and the other emotional consequences and the physical consequences. If I had a dollar for every time I held in the tears at a clothing store until I got out to the car and just cried, I would be a rich woman. I spent 20 years only having a few items of clothing to wear because of the anguish and difficulties of clothes shopping while being pretty overweight. I KNOW what you are talking about when you write about waiting for someone to be there to help you, about waiting to feel motivated, about not feeling motivated, about the yo-yo dieting, etc.

I look back and I'm shocked at how I treated myself. I'd never treat anyone else that way (e.g. say the sorts of things to anyone else that I would say to myself on a daily basis), not even someone I didn't like! So, I am going to tell you that you need to start being kind to yourself. Accept that you've got extra weight, but make the decision to lose it. Be okay with the fact that it's going to take time for the weight to come off. Don't aim for big weekly losses. Be okay with 1-2 lbs per week. Trust me when I tell you that you'll start feeling a whole lot better physically and emotionally sooner than you might think--you don't need to be at your goal weight to really start feeling a whole lot better in every way.

You DO NOT need anyone else to help you. You have yourself. You have Spark People. You can do it. I, too, waited for someone (anyone) to help me. That help never came. I wish I hadn't waited 20 years. You don't need to wait 20 years like I did.

Waiting for motivation? I did that too. I waited 20 years until I figured it out--feeling motivated is great, but it's not necessary. You don't need motivation. You just need to do it whether or not you feel motivated. We do lots of things every day that we're not particularly motivated to do--laundry, cleaning house, going to work, etc. You would never call your boss up and say, "I'm just not feeling motivated to come into work today." Right? Well...make losing weight and getting healthy something like a job. It's not an option to call in unmotivated. You do it because you have to and that's all there is to that. Trust me. That's what I did. It works. Motivation will come later, once you've seen some results and you're starting to feel better. Then, one day, it'll disappear for a while. Then, it'll be back. Motivation comes and goes. It sure is great when it's there, but you just can't depend on feeling motivated. Do it anyway.

You CAN lose the weight. Enter your stats into Spark People. Start tracking your food. DIET is the most important factor in weight loss. It will be hard at first and it will take a lot of time to get your favorites/food combos, etc. all entered. But, after a while, it will become quick and it will just take a few minutes each day. Keep at it and DO NOT give up because it's hard at first. Trust me. It will become easier and easier over the first few weeks. Then, it will just be quick and easy.

Slowly ease yourself into the recommended calorie range. Then, work on getting into the ranges for fats, protein, carbs, etc. Work on eating foods that provide you with the vitamins and minerals you need--you will not meet your goals at first, but you will slowly meet them more and more over time. You just have to keep slowly working at your food choices and you will get into the ranges.

Get a food scale and weigh your food--all of it that you can weigh. Get a food scale that weighs in grams and ounces and that has a tare feature. You can get one on Amazon, at Target, Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc. A nice one will only cost about $25. I never was able to lose weight until I did this. Use a liquid measuring cup for liquids like milk and use measuring spoons for things like oils.

Weigh, measure, track and work your way into the recommended ranges.

So far as exercise... Exercise helps, but you can lose a LOT of weight without exercising. I lost most of my weight before I started exercising. Exercise is important so far as getting healthy, though. You don't need a gym membership. You're doing online videos? Online videos are great! You feel sweaty? Then YOU ARE doing something! Good for you! Just keep doing what you're doing to get sweaty. If you're getting sweaty, you're reaping some benefits from your efforts. :)

If you slip up, that's fine. NO ONE IS PERFECT or anywhere near perfect. Just get right on track at your very next meal. Don't do the thing where you get off track (or overeat something) and then give up and figure you'll start over tomorrow or Monday or on the first of the year and, until tomorrow/Monday/the first, you just eat whatever and maybe gain weight back that you've lost. This sort of thing is all-or-none thinking and most of us have been victims of this way of thinking. All-or-none thinking is a huge reason for the yo-yo dieting that most of us have done. Give up the all-or-none thinking. Slip up? No matter how bad it is, don't give up or set a date for staring over. Just get right back on track as soon as you can. I had some severe all-or-none thinking for over 20 years. It doesn't work because no one is perfect.

No one on Spark People is going to judge you because of your weight.

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 7/13/2014 (18:54)
ATHENA1966 Posts: 3,976
7/13/14 10:43 A

Amber my heart goes out to you. I don't have the experience others have regarding weight loss. You have received some really good advice. The one thing that I will add is please look at some Spark success stories. Specifically, look at ~IndyGirl. There are so many members that have lost and her story is particularly inspiring. There's no way around it, you have a lot on your plate. But you can do this. You can do this for you. I know it seems like all your efforts have not yielded results. I promise every step you take every sweat you generate is contributing to a healthier you. I will echo the need for a dietician consult. I think this piece is key, given your medical history. Above all else, don't give up. We are here for you.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (250,758)
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7/12/14 7:33 P

ARADAMS86 - I read your post in it's entirety, and am wondering if you have some medical support for this, too!

I would encourage you to talk with your Dr about your plans, and ask him/her for support. Is it possible that your previous health issues have impacted on you apart from lifestyle?

Please, ask that you be referred to a Registered Dietitian to help you, and also to a Therapist who will be able to help you deal with the various stressors that you face, as well as with your past history. Those two things alone can work wonders!

Apart from that, you can take yourself off for a little walk. If you don't want it to SEEM like a walk, why not go to a Mall and go for a good walk there? I have done that. There are generally many seats to sit if you need to.

Are there any steps in your area. I have been known to walk around my small town, and chose to walk part-way up a very steep little hill, and then walk up some steps into a car park, across the car park, down the steps on the other side and then up another less steep hill. It didn't really seem like I was going 'for a walk' because I could glance in the shop windows. Another thing that I do regularly is to put all of my groceries and laundry away one at a time. I can sometimes get some quite good walks (for me) in doing this. The Supermarket packs my groceries 'light-weight bags' and I only bring one each hand in at a time, so that means some more steps to go up (11 in total) but it all adds up.

The bulk of weight-loss comes down to nutrition. I weigh all of my food for increased accuracy and enter it all into the Nutrition Tracker. It can be really amazing to see where the calories are coming from, and it also enables us to make informed tweaks to our diet to ensure that we meet all nutritional goals. I lost a considerable amount of weight (50lb the first 16 months) doing this. I have been maintaining for 3 years, and I STILL weigh and enter everything to ensure that I stay there. I had been overweight for about 30 years.

Please, don't aim for fast losses - they will come back to bite you in the butt! The slow ones are far better for your physical health, AND your mental health. They are also less likely to leave the saggy/baggy skin that the faster losses do. I recently saw a woman I know who had been very overweight for many years. She looked very gaunt, and her hair was falling out. She was now 'normal weight. It turned out she was 'on a diet' - she looked a very sick woman.


LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,859)
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Posts: 2,449
7/12/14 6:43 P


You are in the right place, right now, just as you are. Welcome!
There is something so comforting knowing you are in a place where others have gone through what you're going through.

Everything Arch said, ditto. Seriously, drink in what she says. Look at her replies to others. She knows what she's talking about and because of listening to her, I am where I am today in terms of health and a lot less weight.

You do not need your sister or anyone else, for that matter, to succeed. And that is good because wherever you go, there you are. People come & go; you need to & can rely on yourself. Besides, you've got Spark!! There is a plethora of info here to help you. I'll lay you odds: when your sis sees how you are making it happen, she'll want to know what you're doing and you can share all this with her. You motivating her will in turn motivate you.

I tried to attach a link for you here:

If it doesn't come up as clickable, just copy and paste it into your browser. There is a gentleman here, Dean Anderson, who has written some of the best articles on motivation I've ever read. They are specific to weight loss / getting healthy but can be used more broadly.
He was in poor health and obese and he turned it around. So many people have and so can YOU. They're not smarter than you. Many have additional health challenges like you. And you are 100% correct that losing weight will help alleviate many of those challenges.

Speaking of which, you need to start looking at the success pages and Woo-Hoo board posts.
It's a lot easier to embark on this journey if you're in a positive mindset. For me, it was critical. I toyed w/ the idea of surgery (too chicken) or just accepting the fact I'd be fat & unhealthy forever (giving up). I've had someone ask me when my baby was due (poor guy; I actually think he felt worse than me!). I've had too-numerous-to-count reasons that *should* have been my aha moment but for whatever reason, weren't. You really have to be ready in your head to do this. Maybe you are having your ah-ha moment now. If so, congrats and get ready for a fantastic journey.

BTW, I am typing this response while eating from my daily veggies bag. Three yrs ago, there was no WAY I'd have believed you if you said I'd be 60 lbs lighter and eating 7-9 servings of fruits & veggies daily. Today, I decided to have a treat and enjoyed an incredible French pastry. I enjoyed it like you wouldn't believe. And I don't have my knickers in a bunch because WHO CARES?! Life is about living and good food is a part of that, and so what!
My point in telling you this: I am no longer stressed about food and "dieting." Can you imagine how good that feels??

Start doing the things Arch mentioned. Peruse the articles & blogs. Know - really believe - that you can do this. Get positive. The successful people don't subsist on bare celery stalks and spend countless hrs exercising. You needn't either. This time around, I learned a valuable lesson: if it's torturous, you're doing it wrong. You just need to find your way. Your way may be a bit different than mine or the next guys, but you'll never get there if you give up.

emoticon emoticon

Edited by: LOVEXAVIE at: 7/13/2014 (11:28)
ANGELCITYGAL SparkPoints: (38,869)
Fitness Minutes: (20,298)
Posts: 1,724
7/12/14 4:31 P

Please check out this article. There is a lot of information here to help you focus on your process.

ANGELCITYGAL SparkPoints: (38,869)
Fitness Minutes: (20,298)
Posts: 1,724
7/12/14 3:56 P

Amber, you got great advice from ArchimedesII. I echo it and urge you to be kind to yourself. Making one healthy change and really integrating it is a success. And then you make another and keep building. Take care.


ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,705)
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7/12/14 2:56 P

Online Now  • ))
Hi, Amber !

I know things seem really daunting right now, but there is hope. You CAN improve your health and lose weight too. I give all new members and anyone who will listen to me one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body. No one ever became a healthy eater overnight. it's impossible.

That's why Spark People encourages all its members to start with simple changes first. don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. start by setting some simple goals. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. if you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. if you're not exercising, don't start with an hour, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

And this is how we begin to create new healthier habits. Keep in mind, that creating a habit can take WEEKS. that's why you can't beat yourself up every time you think you slip or fall off the wagon. No more wagon. Start by taking baby steps literally and figuratively. Don't even worry about counting calories. Start by creating some simple goals first.

Can you take a daily 30 minute walk ? If so, that's a great place to start a regular exercise routine. Can you eat 2-3 servings of veggies each day ? If so, eating more veggies will help improve your body inside and out. Can you drink more water instead of soda ? If so, that too will contribute to a longer healthier life.

It would be nice if you and your sister could motivate each other. but that isn't going to happen. she's not ready and you are. So, you need to start with out her. If you need support, come to the forums. Leave a post or a blog. the Spark community will support you when you need it.

You can't change the past, but you CAN influence and change the future. One thing I'm going to encourage you to to is friend member INDYGIRL. She started her journey at 460+ pounds, it's been two years and she's lost half that weight. If anyone knows how daunting losing a lot of weight can be, she does. We all do. We have all been in your shoes.

We made a change for the better and so can you. But, you can't look at losing weight with an all or nothing mentality. You can't expect instantaneous results because it isn't happening. Be patient with yourself and your body.

ARADAMS86 SparkPoints: (2,885)
Fitness Minutes: (1,058)
Posts: 54
7/12/14 2:30 P

I am wanting to lose weight, but I have a hard time staying on track. I like to exercise but feel as though I could do better if I had someone with me to keep me motivated. My sister told me she was going to help me out and be my support system but she bailed on me telling me that she didnt have the time or the energy. I have tried pleading with her that we both could benefit from this. As we are at our heavest point we have ever been in our mid to late 20 lives. I do not have many friends because I am scared that they will judge me because of my weight. And I have not made any friends on here because of the same issue. All my pictures are at a certain angle of just my face so nobody can see how I really look. My wedding photo I will not hang on the wall because of my body issues.
I am to the point I am depressed all the time and feel sick when I look at myself in the mirror. I have the "Apple" shape and it is hard to find clothes that fit me properly. I have all these clothes that are just a little too snudge or I wore them 2 years ago and cannot not button them at all. I look like I could be 6-7 months pregnant and it bothers me. I have strange woman come up to me and ask when my baby is due. Last month I went to the ER for a kidney stone that I was passing and was in pain. The registration nurse asked me if I needed the Genesis Center nurses needed to come down and get me and how far apart my contractions where. I was so flabbergasted that I screamed at her I wasnt pregnant that I was just fat. It is really starting to get to me, to the point food and the mere action of eating is scaring the heck out of me. I dont know what to do. I am tired of everyone telling me that I need to eat if I am not hungry or forcing food on me. I know that my husband loves me but he is the worst. I was doing really well and then I hit a wall and get knocked back 50 feet. I was down 25 pounds in 3 weeks and then my great grandparents died and I was stressed out from work, and everything else and gained all that weight back. I am tired of it. I need a change now and I am out of options. I want to do this for me, I need to do this for me but I am not sure how to.
The local gyms where I live are outrageous because I live in a tourist community. Money is a bit of a problem espicially when you have two small children. I love walking but that doesnt seem to be doing anything for me. I do the work out videos online for cardio, but all I seem to see is a lot of sweat and no results. I have kept food journals and still nothing. I need something to do for winters too. Im at a loss to the point I feel like giving up. I guess I am ment to be this size and die this size. Sometimes life throws you a bone that you dont want and you end up taking it even when you dont what to or mean to. I am trying to be stress free, I do not smoke and I do not drink alcohol. I have not drank soda in over 2 years. I have insulin resistance, hypertension, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, and severe depression. I've had my gull bladder removed, and a hysterectomy at the age of 26 because I had uterin and cervical cancer. I am only 28 years old and have health issues that most 50 year olds dont even have, and it is all tied to my weight. I have tried to convince myself its bad genes, but it seems that I am the only one in my family that has these issues. My sister refuses to go get checked out because she doesnt want to know.
How are some ways to motivate yourself and keep yourself motivated. I have tried and tried, but I'm still lost. I'm at the end of the road literally here.


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