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JUSTME9898 Posts: 2,917
11/5/13 6:49 P

Sometimes it helps me to make a list one side is what I can do something about, the other side is I have no control and have to let it go
You have no control over your husband's job situation - let go of the stress
You have control of the food budget - there are some great suggestions here for cutting back costs - look for the one that will work for you
Your husband may be feeling very helpless right now and his way of making himself feel more in control is to totally take charge of the money only you know if offering him help will be seen as negative or positive - go with your gut - if you feel he would welcome help offer it, if not let it go -
take time each day to center yourself - take a walk away from family even if it is just around the block focus on yourself and count the good things in your life - Your health, the daylight, a roof over your head, your family, anything that seems positive that day, I can remember one time in my life when the only thing I could count was that I had a bed to sleep in and clean sheets on it
last remember you are not to blame, bad things happen to good people

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (250,201)
Fitness Minutes: (41,449)
Posts: 26,962
11/5/13 4:05 A

Have you tried to talk with your husband about the finances?

Do you both keep a record of everything that you spend? I live off the smell of an oily rag and have for many years. I do this in a spreadsheet, and it really helps immensely. It gives you the ability to create a realistic budget, tweak here and there, and live more within your means. I even record if I have spent $1.00.

There are some things that you can do to help reduce grocery costs:

Bulk cook meals and containerize them in single serves and freeze. This is a great method for saving money, and also ultimately saving time. It is also great for when you are really tired or just don't have the time to spend making a decent meal. It saves money because you can take better advantage of the specials with meats and veges, and also power/gas for cooking and washing up after.

Eek out the meats by adding lentils, dried split peas, Cannelini, Red Kidney or Baked Beans to your meals. They are very cheap and a good source of protein and fibre. Adding diced veges to the meats (casseroles) also stretches the meat a bit and increases the veges tally for the day, plus is cheaper than meat.

Don't be afraid to use Food Banks if need be. I have had to get Food Grants from our Social Services many times.

If you or your family drink soda/juice, gradually reduce it and increase the water.

Unfortunately, stress, depression and anxiety issues can significantly influence how or what a person eats. The trick is to develop some tools to help you when these times eventuate. It might be developing a hobby - maybe something constructive that might ultimately save money. Things like a little vege garden, or knitting/sewing. If you have the time, get onto SP and read the articles in the toolbar above. There are some really great ones. When I first joined SP I spent ages in there, totally engrossed, and even forgetting about meals - LOL!

The other thing I will mention is that with your emotional issues, you really need someone to talk to. It is good if you husband can/will listen, but it is very good to have someone who is removed from some of the stressors, too. I know that finances are a problem, but if you don't have a therapist, there are ways of getting that help for free, or a reduced cost. If this is the case, please let me know, because I can give you a few links that have proven to be very helpful to others. I strongly encourage you to talk with your Dr about this, including if you have relationship issues with your husband????

Good luck,
Kris xxxx

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,384)
Fitness Minutes: (296,463)
Posts: 27,182
11/4/13 12:36 P


Believe me, you are NOT alone !! I know what it's like to look for work. Last year, I was laid off from a company that I worked for for over 16 years. It took me 9 months before I found the contract job I am currently doing. I totally understand what it's like to worry about finances.

But you know what ? Things DO get better ! You have to have a little faith. I know things are tough right now and you will have to be careful what you spend. However, you still can leave a healthier lifestyle.

I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction. Every little bit really does make a difference.

Have you read any of the great Spark articles on eating healthy on a budget ? If not, start with this article. You may find some of the suggestions helpful.


AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
11/4/13 11:01 A

Take some of your power back--you have to know what is happening with your own money. Staying in the dark...or being kept in the not acceptable.

The best cure for stress is exercise. What is your exercise plan for the week?

LISASGONNADOIT SparkPoints: (38,611)
Fitness Minutes: (16,642)
Posts: 1,277
11/4/13 10:03 A

So sorry you are going through tough times and experiencing anxiety, depression, etc. I too have gone through similar circumstances and also struggle with feelings of depression, anxiety. What helps me is to exercise. Sometimes I literally have to force myself but once I get moving I feel so much better. The endorphins kick in and life doesn't seem so overwhelming and I feel better about myself. What else helps me is letting go and letting God. If the circumstances are out of your control and you can't do anything about them then just let it all go and know that everything will work out. It takes a lot of practice but believe me it works. Also know that you are not alone and that you are loved. I am praying for you and your family. One minute at a time. Continue to take care of you. You deserve great health, happiness and love. Big hugs!

CZERBE78 SparkPoints: (5,433)
Fitness Minutes: (1,574)
Posts: 52
11/4/13 7:47 A

I have depression/anxiety issues, chronic pain issues, and family stress I just feel like I am at some sort of precipice. My husband is among the jobless, AGAIN and it is so hard and stressful, yet he controls our money. I have no idea where it goes. Yes I am rambling I want to eat better and be part of a healthier lifestyle, but when stress is this overwhelming all I want to do is eat and sleep. Any advice in pushing forward?

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