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FREGGIEQUEEN SparkPoints: (22,710)
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1/16/13 1:04 P

Thanks for all the kind words! Feeling better today.

MOM2TNB SparkPoints: (1,347)
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1/16/13 6:57 A

I felt the same way but was unable to do stay home with my first child. I started schooling to do Medical Transcription when he was 10 months old and now I do stay home with both of the kids. I was lucky enough that I made enough to support the family and my husband was able to stay home. The school I went to cost me about 2300 to get my MT certificate. Also, there is some legitimate work at home jobs that you can do if you look hard enough. I don't know if those are options for you, but I thought I would throw it out on the table. If you have questions about MT, please send me a private message.

Congrats on your baby!

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (254,066)
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1/15/13 11:38 P

I was faced with this when my second child was about 3yrs old. I worked out how much it would cost in transport and baby sitting and decided it wasn't worth it. What I DID tho', was baby sit OTHER peoples' babies/toddlers. This brought in a bit of extra money and helped considerably. I also did casual work at a local Dairy.

I guess, what I am wondering is this - do you HAVE to go back to where you work, or are you able to do something else closer to home, or AT home, that will give you more time with your baby, and a provide a little income as well? You never know - if you sit down and write down EVERYTHING that you spend your money on, you may be able to shave a bit off. I keep a spreadsheet of every little thing I buy, including gum, and they all have their own columns. (Groceries; Petrol/Parking/Road Tolls; Phone; Power; Medical; Clothing; Personal Spends; Entertainment; Cafe. It is amazing how much goes down the drain without our realizing. Then of course, we can adjust our groceries - ditch some of the more expensive choices except for occasional treats, and substitute with cheaper, healthy alternatives. You never know - you might even come out better off - LOL!

Congratulations on your baby too - a wonderfully exciting time :-)
Take Care,


IYAYINKA SparkPoints: (0)
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1/15/13 7:04 P

Hi, sounds like a really difficult situation. I know there are different opinions but I wanted to stay with my kids, give them the love and the attention and although I went back to work when my son was one, I then went part-time and when my daughter was born I started looking for other avenues until I found a home based business that is enabling me to fit my job around my family life. Hav you had a look at your options outside of your current job?

1/15/13 4:54 P

If it helps at all, they have found again and again in studies, that children with working mothers tend to be more self-confident and adaptable. Be proud of your ability to provide for yourself and your family. It will help your children when they are adults, especially the girls.


1/15/13 3:52 P

That's definitely a hard situation. When I was pregnant with my first child, I went through the same emotions. Before our daughter was born, my husband made the tough decision to switch to a night job. That allowed me to work during the day, while knowing that my kids were home with someone who loved and cared for them. It's not easy (my husband and I barely see each other), but it's been worth it to us. Perhaps instead of giving half your paycheck to someone else to watch your son, you could quit your full time job and find a part-time job working evenings or weekends? Your net income may be about the same, since you wouldn't have to pay for childcare. Whatever happens, I'm sure your will be a great mom and your son will know that you love him. Good luck to you!

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (200,147)
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1/15/13 3:17 P



Try not to worry !! Families have always found a way to make things work. Having to go to work to make ends meet instead of being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you'll be a bad mom or one that doesn't care for her children. Things weren't like Leaver it to Beaver with mom being able to stay home and have fresh baked cookies ready.

Lots of moms (like mine) had to work outside the house. You did what you had to in order to pay the bills. People believe the breakdown of the nuclear family corresponds with women working outside the home. I disagree. Like I said, women have always worked outside the home. So, don't put yourself down thinking you won't be there for your child.

Children DO understand. The quality of the time you spend with your child is more important than quantity.

Try not to worry ! You're going to be a wonderful mom !! Relax if you can. Sit and have a cup of tea. I know things seem really stressful right now, but it's true... things really do have a way of working out. You have to believe that.

Congratulations !


Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 1/15/2013 (15:18)
FREGGIEQUEEN SparkPoints: (22,710)
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1/15/13 3:03 P

My husband and I are going to welcome our first child (a boy!) around May 27th. I've been feeling low today because I really really really - desperately - want to be a stay-at-home mom, but the DH and I both work for non-profits and one salary will barely cover the bills, let alone money for groceries, clothes, baby supplies, etc. I just feel hopeless. We both work hard, we have one very affordable used car and just bought a beautiful house that is crazy affordable (less than $1000/month within the city limits). I can't imagine going back to the office after only 12 weeks and paying a daycare half my monthly salary to take care of my own child, when I would rather be home with him myself! I feel like crying and am considering giving in to temptation and eating something giant and sweet and horrible. Gah! I don't know what to do!

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