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FITGLAMGIRL Posts: 2,045
6/30/13 12:24 P

Sorry you are feeling down. It can be a real shocker to us once we realize what we have done to ourselves. I hope you can find this as motivation to keep going and get back to where you want to be.

I know for myself, when I first started I was out of breath walking one lap around the track. It was at that time I realized just how out of shape I really was. I just kept pushing forward and today I am doing P90X. Something I could never have done 4 years ago.

Keep it going and don't look back!

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,867)
Fitness Minutes: (48,271)
Posts: 2,450
6/30/13 11:52 A


I think everybody here has gone through something similar.
Being heavy caused me to give up so many things, whether due to embarrassment & not wanting people to see me, or just flat out having a tougher time physically doing what I used to. Being heavy made my sporadic back problems much worse and occur w/ more frequency.
Yadda, yadda, yadda. I could go on.

We've all had that moment you described, where you say, "What the H happened here?!" Truth is, we know what happened. Years of eating poorly is what happened. And that is why we get so upset at one did it to us but ourselves! Ugh!

Okay so you find yourself in that position. Now is the real test of your mettle. The good news is you've got a choice! You can change this, absolutely. There are tons of success stories on this site to inspire you on your unique journey.

As I was losing, and had those times when I'd look in the mirror and think "ugh! - I have so far to go!" I would force myself to STOP and literally say out load: "I'm not where I want to be YET, but I'm GETTING THERE. I'm GETTING THERE." And the turn away and immediately focus on something else. So much of this game is mental, and you cannot afford to let negative thinking hinder you in any way.

You need to develop a strategy or phrase to help lift you up at those times you need it. Try this sometime and see if it doesn't help.

Also, look at how incredibly fast time goes. Think back to how quickly 2012 went by. 2013 is going to go by just as quick if not faster. At the end of the year, do you want to be the same, heavier or thinner /healthier?

Two quotes that have helped me:
1. You are always one choice away from being on track.
2. Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining is hard. Pick your hard.

(note on the last quote: having been in all three places, I'd say that definitely being fat is hardest!)

Lastly, do not even try to be "perfect" as you go about your way through this. Perfection really doesn't exist. There is just life, and life includes all kinds of things, both healthy and what may considered not-so-healthy. You can have both - just more of the healthy. Aim for an 80/20 or 85/15 ratio so you won't go nuts and will be more enjoyable to be around. : )

Good luck, and yes -you can totally do this!!

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (200,147)
Fitness Minutes: (299,243)
Posts: 27,333
6/30/13 5:50 A


I think every single member of Spark has been in a similar situation. We're all experts at gaining, losing and regaining the weight. That was the past. You can't change the past, but you CAN influence and change the future. As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Give yourself credit for all the positive things you do for yourself and don't beat yourself up because you're not perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.

As I tell all new members,"don't look at good health with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Start with some simple changes first. I know it feels like you've hit rock bottom, BUT you really can take charge of your life. Twice in my life I weighed over 200+ pounds. A few years ago I decided that wasn't going to happen a second time. That's where my journey started.

So, don't beat yourself up because LIFE got in the way. You can lose weight, but you have to be patient. I know we'd all love for the weight to be gone overnight, but that isn't happening. You didn't gain the weight overnight, it's not coming off overnight.

Thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body. If you need support, post on the forums. The spark community will support you.

EMAVERICK Posts: 7,229
6/29/13 8:52 P

It sounds like you have a lot of stresses in your life right now. I know being stressed saps my energy level.

Is there something you can give up, to take the stress level down a notch? Is there some chore, for instance, your S.O. can take on which currently is considered part of your domain? Could you give up watching some TV in exchange for more sleep perhaps?

Take a look at all the articles on Sparkpeople, They have really helpful ideas on reducing stress and getting headed in the direction we want to go, instead of where everything seems to be pushing us.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (254,065)
Fitness Minutes: (41,531)
Posts: 27,163
6/29/13 8:15 P

I can understand how you feel. I also know that a lot of women tend to gain quite a bit of weight after they have gotten married, for a variety of reasons.

Even tho' you know that your eating was far from good, and that this is often the main reason for the weight-gain, there could also be other things that could be partially to blame.

Especially because your hike impacted on your breathing so much, I would strongly suggest that you make an appointment with your Dr for a proper check to see if there is anything medical going on. There are a number of health issues which can impact on a person's weight - things like PCOS and Hypothyroidism. Bloods can often detect if there is something at play here.

Just start the exercise regime off with baby steps. Gradually build into it. Go for some smaller walks first, and as your energy becomes more robust, increase the length, and the speed, and get some hills into the equation.

Nutrition is also a good one to apply baby steps to. Then you will be far less likely to hanker those 'comfort foods'. Wise portion control is something that may need a little help - try downsizing your dinner plate and don't come back for seconds. Make what is on your plate filling - make sure that lean protein is with your meals and that you get enough in your day. Using the Nutrition Tracker and weighing all of your food for increased accuracy is a great way to help you stay motivated and on course. I know that it was instrumental in allowing me to reach my goal after having been overweight for about 30 years!

Good luck,
Take care,

CAFFEINE_PIRATE SparkPoints: (293)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 9
6/29/13 7:47 P

I think I just need to vent, really. Or ask other people if they've experienced something similar.

What did your weight gain cause you to give up?

Let me clarify: I've gained almost forty pounds in the last two years. I know this to be true because my husband and I got married on July 16th, 2011, and I was 156 then. I am now 190, and its largely due to lifestyle change. After we got married I enrolled into college full-time while also keeping my part-time retail job, then taking another job at the school. I've always had issues with stress eating, so during finals, the holidays, family events, etc. I would make big portions of our favorite foods and even non-essentials like pie or cookies. I even took a summer course where, to motivate myself to study, I would bake a tray of cookies and eat one when I got to a stopping point (not a dozen, but like, eight, and they'd usually last three or four days).

I know I had bad habits, and I know what I did wrong, I just didn't realize it was going to have such a negative impact on the things I love.

I love to hike. I always have. Walking in the woods is where I can reconnect, find solace, and be truly happy. Its one of the things my husband and I started out doing regularly when we first got together.

We went on a short one today (3 miles), and I felt like crap during and after it was over. The weather was perfect, yes, there were hills, but this trail has never kicked my butt like this before, and today I had to sit down when we were almost done because I literally couldn't breathe.

It scared me, but not only that it really broke my heart. I attribute this largely to my abrupt weight gain, and I feel a little self-resentment that I caused this, I neglected something I love so much, and in turn, neglected my health.

I apologize for such a long rant. I know what I have to do from here, but I just feel really, really low right now. Thank you for listening.

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