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SANDSURFGIRL SparkPoints: (1,035)
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1/12/13 11:24 A

How did I know when I saw you on this thread you would have some argumentative thing to say Zorbs? I'm not even going to waste my time discussing with you. Anyone who is foul enough to have the F word in their siggy doesn't rate as worthy of my energy or time. Is there anything you don't feel the need to argue or prove yourself about? Chip on the shoulder much?

The thread isn't about YOU, and just in case you didn't realize, everybody's posts aren't about YOU either. You aren't even a fly on my radar, so no I'm not saying anything about you as a mother. Now back to the subject at hand....

Edited by: SANDSURFGIRL at: 1/12/2013 (11:46)
ZORBS13 SparkPoints: (202,233)
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Posts: 15,875
1/12/13 11:00 A

"Any mother who loves her children and wants the best for them can have mommy guilt about the things we do for ourselves. I think the minute they are born, the guilt gene turns on!'

I have never, ever felt one iota of mommy guilt over doing things for myself. Are you implying that I do not love my child?

SANDSURFGIRL SparkPoints: (1,035)
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1/12/13 10:44 A

Any mother who loves her children and wants the best for them can have mommy guilt about the things we do for ourselves. I think the minute they are born, the guilt gene turns on! LOL It's normal. But like others said, you have to take care of yourself so you can take care of others.

Taking care of yourself doesn't have to mean going to the gym or leaving your home and child to work out though. The reality is that you do have a full schedule and your time is limited with your child. Kids need time with their parents, especially when they are toddlers. When your child is a baby and toddler it seems like it will last forever, but in the blink of an eye they are in school and growing up on you.

There are many ways that you can exercise at home for cheap and free. SP has videos you can do. There are inexpensive DVD's. Or just plain creating your own workout. There are exercise channels on cable too. You can exercise at home and be with your child at the same time. Multitasking is always good.

It is hard to get your workout in when you have little ones, but remember it is a season and not forever. Be creative and find ways to have both the time with your child and take care of you. It is possible. I know tons of moms who do it.

2BDYNAMIC SparkPoints: (345,461)
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1/12/13 10:31 A

Having children, I understand the need ........ for both ............. And have lived in 'tight' places as well ................... I have a Q. ........ which is: Can you plug in a DVD or watch an exercise channel and do w/ your child present? That way ........ you are still there ..........
#2--I see LOTs of Mommies mall walking w/ their tots in the stroller ............ When I used to mall walk in winter time ............. I saw an entire TEAM of Mommies meet and ;push their babies around the mall in their strollers ...(early before shoppers got there)............ Plus just pairs of girlfriends w/ them and it made for 1-being w/ child . (they like getting out too) and 2-Getting your exercise in and 3-Spending some time w/ a friend ....... and maybe some coffee afterwards ........ Just a thought .......... cos ......... Been there! emoticon

Edited by: 2BDYNAMIC at: 1/12/2013 (10:32)
N16351D Posts: 2,349
1/12/13 10:04 A

I admire that you are working so hard and making good progress toward your goals.

In 1979, at age 21, I was a single mother of a one- year old girl. I went to college and to work. I struggled with the same issue as spending time with my little one. I found an effective counselor with whom I worked through issues that got me into the situation of being a single mother! Through it, we discussed all of my struggles, one of those was my interest in, and need for exercise.(That was before running was popular, before step-aerobics, yoga and pilates widely known in the U.S.!) Exercise helped me keep my sanity between tests, jobs, and a raising my daughter. I brought her along with me whenever it was practical. We spent a lot of time on bikes, in parks, walking in woods, and more.

The wise counselor gave me some sage advice I hold onto still. "If you don't take care of yourself, you are no good for anyone else."

Have you ever flown on an airlines when the flight attendant said to give an air mask to yourself before giving it to a child? There is wisdom in the adult taking care of self, to enable them to give to others.

Later I married and have a large extended family. No one exercises from either of our large families, and especially my couch potato husband. ( He did it with me before marriage!) I have been criticized for "being selfish" and exercising taking me away from the family and chores. I was criticized for doing exercise instead of chores, but I only spent one hour a day at it.

I exercised before anyone else was awake, and often my husband didn't even know I was out. When we talked about it I said, "I have been exercising for 20 years. You knew that about me before we married. What makes you think I am going to quit? A few decades means commitment, not a fad. You come up with one reason not to exercise, and I'll come up with 1000 articles explaining why to do it." He is a health professional and knows why to exercise.

Now, four decades after I started consistently running in 1972, my cardiologist says I have the heart of a teenager. I keep my cholesterol down through exercise and diet. I wear the same size clothing I did as a teenager, my legs are shapely and strong, and I can do my own, physically difficult chores such as chopping wood and moving heavy objects. I have done some half marathons (never had time to train for a full marathon!).

That little girl is now age 35 with three kids of her own. They ride their horses, hike in mountains, water and snow ski, and all four girls are in ballet, gymnastics and do aerial dancing. My daughter also teaches yoga.

Being a healthy role model for my daughter was one of the important things she learned from me taking time to exercise. But it is also spreading out to family members. Gradually they are beginning to walk, stretch, and otherwise move.

I have other unusual stories of how my habit of exercise has even saved my life after a tragic high-speed roll over car accident when my heart rate got so high I was expected to have a heart attack on the freeway. But my heart was accustomed to getting to a high rate, and recovering quickly. Doctors told me that my jogging and aerobics saved my life, as I had a healthy heart. There are more stories from other times when my four decades of jogging made a huge difference.

Yes, by all means, exercise with your toddler. Have him on your lap while you do sit-ups. Play with him while you do lunges, Yoga, and Pilates in the living room. Get outside on bikes, stroller, roller skates and anything that is practical as the child grows. Go walk in woods and swim in ponds, lakes, and rivers. Get out early before the child awakens, and be ready to get him ready for the day when you return refreshed.

The basic advice was sound, "Take care of yourself."

DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,458)
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1/12/13 9:17 A

Nope. I treasure my workout time. It's much-needed time to take care of myself.
What you need to do is think of it in terms of the benefits you are providing your child, not the minimal time you're away from your child.

Remember that we model the behavior our children will learn for *life* - if they see us exercising and being healthy, they will think this is normal, and how we do things. Consequently, they too will exercise and be healthy.

If they see us sitting on our bums all the time doing nothing active, then guess what? Yep. They'll do that too.

There's nothing to be guilty for.

Edited by: DRAGONCHILDE at: 1/12/2013 (09:17)
ZORBS13 SparkPoints: (202,233)
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Posts: 15,875
1/12/13 6:44 A

Never. When mommy is happy, everyone else is happy.

RAIN-I-DASH SparkPoints: (1,184)
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1/12/13 6:14 A

I know with it being cold, going out isn't really feasible, but is there stuff you can do inside with your child? I know when I go over to my boyfriend's place, I get a workout in chasing around is 4 year old and 18 month old nephew and niece. We run back and forth from their living room to their dining room probably a hundred times in the evenings, and then there's all the "pick me ups" I do with the little girl. It's not much, but it is a little extra I do, and we all have fun with it.

ROG190 SparkPoints: (0)
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1/12/13 5:49 A


STEF811 SparkPoints: (3,352)
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1/12/13 12:15 A

Right there with you! FT single working mom here...I have begun to belueve though that the time away improves the value of the time together because I am happuer and more energetic after my workouts...and Ill live longer!

Fitness Minutes: (961)
Posts: 42
1/12/13 12:03 A

I have an 18 month old, go to school full time, and work full time so whenver i have free time i just feel so guilty for not spending it with my child does anyone else feel extreme mommy guilt? We live in a small apartment building and its about 6 degrees out on a daily basis here so family excersize isnt really in the picture, its mostly gym or nothing :(

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