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ATRUETT SparkPoints: (1,129)
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1/16/11 7:54 P

This subject is very close to my heart. I think that every parent should make time for themselves and realize that you are doing the best thing for you and your children. My parents spent all their time with me and doing for me. I felt smothered and ran away to get married at 14. I let my children have more freedom but I did everything for them. They love living with me to the point that 3 out of 4 children are still at home living off me. They are 35, 25 and 18. The 25 year-old is just now thinking of moving out. The 35 year-old lives with me with her kids and my great grandchild. I fill like I will never have my own life and I did them no favors making them dependent on me. Granted my case is extreme but there must be a happy medium between living for your children and neglecting them. And to top it all off the children are not grateful for what I give them and do for them. They take me for granted. I wish I had made a life for myself and not wrapped my life around theirs.

JJSSPARK SparkPoints: (51,940)
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Posts: 1,666
1/15/11 10:46 P

Wow! I read some of the responses and realize I never think of time for myself...maybe I need to because I get so overwhelmed with my family that by the end of the day I am exhausted and overwhelmed. I always say I'll make time for myself, and then..... Nothing.

1/15/11 3:57 P

This reminds me of the blog on here about how it is good to say NO sometimes. We women tend to accommodate everyone but ourselves, but to our detriment. My DH encourages me to do things for myself (even scheduled me for a massage next Sat), as he knows I'm a happier person when I take care of myself! (Corollary: I'm happier, he's happier!)

ZORBS13 SparkPoints: (196,863)
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1/14/11 9:39 A

I do something for myself almost every day.

I run every Saturday morning. With the getting ready and post-run it takes all morning (3-5 hours)

I have absolutely ZERO mommy guilt.

My lack of mommy guilt stems from being an only child, I am extremely selfish by nature, but I believe it works well for my healthy lifestyle.

Just told MY DH last night that he is not welcome to come to Chicago with me when I run the marathon this fall.

Sometimes people like a cheering section at a race, but I have tried that, and I do better at races when I don't have DH and baby around to stress me out. So family is no longer welcome. Even if they want to come.

Edited by: ZORBS13 at: 1/14/2011 (09:41)
KLPEFFERS Posts: 987
1/14/11 9:19 A

I feel ya. I mean yes it's nice that they want to be there to encourage you and cheer you on at the finish line (I personally wouldn't know how that feels as my hubs doesn't bother to come to anything for me...another story)

REGARDLESS: You need time with you... its healthy. Maybe you could talk with your mom ahead of time and make arrangements for the day before the race or the evening before for her to take the girls (and BF) and you can have some nice quiet "Focus" time. AND I'm guessing a sit down with the hubs is in order. I know it sucks, but men aren't the most perceptive critters... sometimes we have to spell it out letter for letter.

If you need any support you can always inbox me!!

-POLEDANCEGIRL- Posts: 14,826
1/14/11 9:09 A

My thoughts exactly!!!

He cannot go because of work.
My older daughter and her bf are helping drive (12 hours each way.
My younger daughter wants to go because my mom is come out from CA to support me.

I just KNOW that the kids are going to fight and I am not going to be able to focus. It really has me in a funk! Trying to be positive, not working so far. And, I LOVE my kids!!! I do!! Just wanted this to be about me. Just 3 days for me.

KLPEFFERS Posts: 987
1/14/11 9:04 A

DYET~ why on earth are you taking your kids with you when YOU are the one running the marathon?!
Maybe I'm looking too much into that, but I would think that your hubs should be there if the kids are... its not like you will be available if something comes up with the kids.

Just my thought but why should you have to worry about that while you are running? I know its not going to be an "all day" thing more like a few hours, but still....

I would think he should be there to support you with the kids, or keep the kids home so you can DO THIS THANG!

-POLEDANCEGIRL- Posts: 14,826
1/14/11 8:52 A

I am taking both kids and my DH is home alone this weekend. I am a ball of mixed emotions with this!

1/13/11 9:25 P

I don't think it is selfish at all, and I hardly ever do something without my kids. This year though, I have decided to put me first, I haven't put me first in 12 years. But, I need to get back on track! I make it hard- not my family, they have all supported the new changes I've been making- I'm sure yours will too. When you feel good- your family will flourish. emoticon

PRESHA811 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (2,801)
Posts: 573
1/13/11 6:58 P

It's not selfish at all! If they love you, they'll want you to be happy and root for you to finish that race!

-POLEDANCEGIRL- Posts: 14,826
1/13/11 3:54 P

alone??? I love love love my DH and my two girls. THis weekend I want to go and run a half marathon and I just want me. Is this selfish? I guess I know its not, but UGH do I feel bad!

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