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6/14/13 2:17 A

Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions. It has been tough, but by hitting this panic button, I made a wonderful friend who has been helping encourage me on this site. I am doing much better, but still grieving. I have turned to my faith and family for help as well. emoticon heals all wounds

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (256,922)
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5/20/13 3:35 A

Hi TRIPLEGODDESS - I am very sorry to hear of your losses!

My husband died very unexpectedly just before Xmas. Apart from 3-4 days of eating anything that I felt like, I have mostly been back on a very healthy diet/calorie range.

I COULD have felt "What the heck" .... "Who cares?" .... "Too bad" .... etc. etc., but instead I told myself that I would be doing not only myself a big disservice if I gave up, but also a big disservice to my husband. I owed it to the both of us to go on in as healthy a way as possible.

Eating doesn't solve grief, but it CAN add to it! It can increase guilt, too, and end beating ourselves up. I don't know about you, but I don't fancy that! There are many other ways to deal with this emotion. I found looking at photos and looking at his hand-writing to be more therapeutic. I found I was putting his music on - he absolutely loved (IDOLIZED) The Rolling Stones. I could take them or leave them. I have found that I have put "HIS" music on - partly to play to him, and partly because, strange as it may seem, I have found it to soothe. In the car, the last tape he had on was "Queen" - that tape I have played nearly every time I go in the car, for the same reason.

It may be that if you have a hobby, you may be able to turn to that to help you, or go for a walk to help clear your head when you are feeling down or foggy. It may ALSO be that you turn to your SparkFriends - ask for help, or even offer help/suggestions to others. That can be a very powerful Therapy.

Also, if you find your grief overwhelming, it would be helpful for you to make an appointment with your Dr and discuss what is happening in your life. He /she will be able to prescribe a treatment (Therapy and/or medication) to help you through. The last couple months I have been finding things really tough for me, and as a result restarted counseling today. You can also turn to a Church, even if you aren't a member they often provide therapeutic help for people suffering grief.

BIG hugs,
Kris xx.

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 5/20/2013 (03:36)
ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (201,337)
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Posts: 27,433
5/19/13 3:59 P


I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friends. Everything must seem really overwhelming at the moment.

Don't beat yourself up. You are not a bad person or an unhealthy one because you may find yourself stress eating for comfort. This is something every single one of us have had to cope with ourselves. Do the best you can. I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Good health isn't "all or nothing". every little bit really does add up. Remember, you don't have to be perfect to be healthy. All things in moderation. Try to be mindful of your portions, but don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect.

Be kind to yourself as you would to others. When things settle down, you can be more diligent then. For now, like I said, you do the best you can.

Take baby steps, literally and figuratively.


Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 5/19/2013 (16:00)
5/19/13 3:50 P

I am having a horrible year! I just lost two friends in the span of two months, and i just found out a friend I consider to be a brother passed away from heart problems on tuesday. I am having a hard time staying on track, when things like this happen I tend to go to my comfort foods. What is a healthier way to deal with my grief, than shoving highly damaging foods in my mouth and throwing off all my hard work?

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