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MINIERMISSME SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,907)
Posts: 139
1/19/11 8:29 P

I don't want to lose them as friends, as they're great in other places, just not as far as my lifestyle change goes. I have some friends who are joining me and supportive, not to mention my one problem friend I'm hoping sees that this is working for me and getting me where I want to be and understand that I'm doing what I have to for myself. I've already started spending more time to myself just because I'm less likely to accept trips to run to whataburger (diet killer) or chill instead of working out.

SLASALLE SparkPoints: (275,177)
Fitness Minutes: (104,299)
Posts: 11,886
1/19/11 6:05 P

It's very hard when friends are like this - I've been there. It's even harder if it's family that is like this, because you don't have as much of a choice in the matter.

I think you have to weigh each friendship individually. I certainly don't take friendship lightly, hence, wouldn't give it up lightly. If you have tried asking them for what you want out of your friendship, and they still don't get it, you might have no choice but to move on.

Good luck ... this is always a hard one! Just remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

GINAMARIE7 Posts: 685
1/19/11 5:11 P

Sweetie, you need to find new friends. There was a study done on this and you will be more likely to succeed if you have like minded friends. Join a bootcamp class or talk to the people who work out with you at the gym. You are bound to make new friends. People have actually started to approach me after I lost a considerable amount of weight. They ask me to join them for races, running groups and other outdoor activity. It will happen to you too.

Congratulations on your new lifestyle. It isn't easy and it isn't for everyone but isn't it great to feel healthy.

Good luck!

JINXY2009 Posts: 132
1/19/11 4:54 P

I have found the best way to deal with this is to not talk with them about it at all. Just keep on doing what you do.

My former co workers loved to make comments about eating and weight when I was around and suggest various weight loss books to "help" me. It was rude and insulting and very inappropriate.

These people, although they were very thin, ate rubbish all day long. They were blessed with a fast metabolism.

So ignore the "friends" and still with your goals.

EARTHTONED84 SparkPoints: (12,841)
Fitness Minutes: (7,701)
Posts: 572
1/19/11 4:40 P

Minnie, I started my weight loss journey about two months ago. I used to go out partying, eat out all the time, hang with friends and go to bars, staying up late, eating, dare I say, Taco Bell at 3 in the morning.

Then I got serious. I got real. I promised myself that I didn't want to continue down this spiraling path of food comas, hangovers and people who were not loving themselves enough to choose to have a better life.

I started working out everyday, whether a hardcore workout or 30 minutes on the treadmill to keep my muscles moving. I joined groups, signed up for 5Ks and indoor triathlons, registered for the Warrior Dash.

Because of my change of lifestyle, naturally some friends fell by the wayside. They were not participating in activities that I found worth while for my health.

Then I had friends who wanted to "workout" and "eat right" with me but ended up criticizing me for what I chose to eat or do. Move on, find new friends who support healthy lifestyles, who enjoy finding new and healthy recipes, who would rather go for a bike ride than go out and get drunk and sleep in til God knows when.

After losing people that ultimately were weighing me down, I am happier person. I love who I am, I love the friends that I have because even if they don't see it the way I do, they don't make me feel bad and they don't try to sabotage my efforts for them to feel better about their (bad) decisions.

It's ok if it is all about you. This is why you are on Sparkpeople, to better your life, to make better choices.

LMCBUDDY Posts: 365
1/18/11 10:49 A

ditto ditto ditto!!! I used to be in the same boat, but I promise it is all worth it. You are still young and not everyone at your age gets it yet. I guarantee they will be looking to you in the future for support. If they don't, they will likely be in envy. Keep up the good work and just keep getting your motivational fix from your SP friends!

-POLEDANCEGIRL- Posts: 14,826
1/18/11 10:43 A

I agree with the other posters. This is for


SHUPER5 Posts: 618
1/18/11 8:50 A

Time to find NEW friends!You need the support not the negative attitudes!You can do this,you are stronger than you think!Keep it up and never give up!

REDSHOES2011 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (66,181)
Posts: 7,159
1/17/11 11:58 P

If people are unsupportive, lady it is time to find new friends.. I sorry but don't hang around dead batteries, are you going to sit and listen to them moan about how ill they are when the paryting stops?
The broken record wears out fast, they have not make your life easy- why are you giving them such a huge break? It sounds like if they don't doing anything to aid you at some stage they hope this flip will end.. But make their unsupportive contacts end- success is a thin cup of tea if the people whom care about you don't care less..
Or push them in to just acquaince catagory- friends don't leave you sailing in your own mess when you need them most..

Edited by: REDSHOES2011 at: 1/18/2011 (00:00)
1/17/11 11:24 P

Do you go it alone? YES! This is, after all, for nobody's benefit but yours. When I faced the mirror as a fat, unhappy woman, nobody carried that burden for me. Nobody cared that I was suffering behind the smiles because I felt like a failure, because I was letting my life pass me by instead of living it fully or that my joints were achy. But, as sure as I'm writing this, people suddenly had all sorts of opinions when I lost the weight! You name it, I heard it. The beauty of being my age, however, is that I do not care one iota what anybody thinks but me. So, be your own best buddy and support yourself and remember that you have a lot of support here, too.

Be the best you can be!

JIBBIE49 Posts: 73,076
1/17/11 11:06 P

My DD is 20 & 5'9" and 145#. She does the P90X work out with Tony Horton. Her boyfriend tells her she is "to cut" and doesn't like it. I tell her she has to do this for herself. She is very strong & does JUDO (martial arts), so she needs the muscle. I just think you have to do this for yourself. She gets a lot of negative from girls she works with since they don't work out, but she'd like to be a Personal Trainer.
Do this for yourself and remember people dislike seeing others who have discipline and willpower.

MINIERMISSME SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,907)
Posts: 139
1/17/11 9:49 P

I got some good comments on my blog post, but it got me to thinking as well about how other people deal with friends who are unintentionally unsupportive of your choices on how to lose weight/become healthier. I've tried doing it on my own, tried coming up with meals that I think are good for me, limiting how much I eat, and have failed. So I decided to use Spark since it allows me to physically see everything I do, how many calories are in what I'm eating, how many I'm burning, and so on. But among my group of friends, there are those who aren't supportive at all (treat yourself, don't worry about it, just do more crunches) or eating everything that I shouldn't and then commenting about my weight or what I'm eating instead. Or deciding that I should only workout once a week in order to burn all I eat. I'm good friends, and I tried telling them that this is what I'm doing and I'm going to try making it work for me, find ways to stick to it (especially when I'm still starting so I don't tumble off when I haven't even gotten going). It just seems like they're saying that I'm putting too much work into becoming healthier, and while I know I'm doing the right thing for me, it questions me including them when I workout, cook meals, etc., as I know comments will be made on how little I'm eating (I have realized that my portions are way too much) or what foods I'm eating (I've been working on eating more fruits, drinking more water). How do you do it? Do I go at it alone for the most part so I don't worry about what other people think is better? I hate pushing my friends out of my workouts and meals, but it is extremely hard for me to eat my portions, stick to my choices when they're committing carbicide or doing movie parties where the food is going to be filled with sugar, salts, and such.

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