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JOYOUS1917 SparkPoints: (19,811)
Fitness Minutes: (10,248)
Posts: 196
2/10/13 9:48 P

See what I mean? You guys are the tops! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

EWL978 Posts: 2,021
2/10/13 5:19 P

I'm really good here by's a way of life that I have come to enjoy!! The weight I'm losing is for me, and I don't need others telling me what to do. When I want support, the best support in the world is right here at Spark.Com...don't you agree?? emoticon

GETSALONG Posts: 2,842
2/10/13 5:02 P

emoticon i agree, i can come & talk, share support & encouragement whenever I need it! It has helped tremendously, we really are not alone... there are so many of us creating healthier lifestyles :)

JOYOUS1917 SparkPoints: (19,811)
Fitness Minutes: (10,248)
Posts: 196
2/10/13 4:53 P

I meant to add: Spark People is a family and a welcome one...someone is always there and there are many, many messages of encouragement and information. emoticon

LOUISEBLUE SparkPoints: (1,291)
Fitness Minutes: (190)
Posts: 22
2/10/13 1:48 P

Wow, thank you all for the support! Reading all of your answers gives me further inspiration and I feel really motivated...will keep coming back to read this thread when I'm feeling down!
Have been, as I said, trying to take it as a challenge instead of just letting it get me down and then giving in...and it's really working. Change of perspective really does help and so do you!
Thank you again :)

LESLIESENIOR SparkPoints: (212,866)
Fitness Minutes: (177,338)
Posts: 6,357
2/9/13 9:55 P

The journey to good health is a journey for yourself. When I am healthier mentally, physically, and spiritually, my family and friends benefit and respond positively.
SparkPeople is a great support system!

GETSALONG Posts: 2,842
2/9/13 9:52 P

i've found when i change, it's a huge change for dh he's not ready to make... he's losing his cook & eating companion in some ways, so we have an ongoing conversation about what works for us... from him buying & eating his junk food elsewhere to me making some foods 2 different ways; like his meat fried with sauce and mine with spices baked, and he will eat some of the whole grain foods but sometimes i'm making brown rice with broth & spices for me and rice out of a box for him... he really thinks he likes that better... i don't... anymore... and i can't make him change until he's ready, like i couldn't stand people urging me to get with it and change... so it's really a different way to eat than before when we shared pizza or that boxed rice/noodles...

JOYOUS1917 SparkPoints: (19,811)
Fitness Minutes: (10,248)
Posts: 196
2/9/13 7:27 P

I go it alone because I am alone. I have no family here where I live. Most of my family has passed on. I have been reminded by a 'friend' "you're not family" a number of times....most of my friends have moved out of this community. So, I am still positive and upbeat in spite of it though. People, in general, I have found just don't have room in their lives to add another.

MERYLHICKMAN SparkPoints: (1,643)
Fitness Minutes: (756)
Posts: 8
2/8/13 4:00 P

next time have the roast chicken and a salad, there is nothing wrong with that, just opt for salad in place of the taters that way your not excluding yourself. Maybe cottage cheese in place of the taters? Good luck xxx emoticon

MERYLHICKMAN SparkPoints: (1,643)
Fitness Minutes: (756)
Posts: 8
2/8/13 3:54 P

been there, my x was what I called a diet saboteur, he was not over weight, he would make really nice comments like "I love you no matter how much you weigh" and bring home pizza, he also would have an ice cream day, and buy Oreo's etc. Non of this happened when I wasn't dieting.......only when he saw I was succeeding. I truly think he was worried that if I lost the weight it would some how be a threat to him. You just have to plug on, eventually you wont want the weekly ice cream night or the pizza and he may get upset that it didn't bother you. Just hang in there. Ultimately its you that decides what to put into your body.

ROSIEPM04 Posts: 13
2/8/13 3:33 P

I workout alone, and when my husband prepares dinner that is not very healthy I will eat something else. He doesn't say much, but I know he wishes I would eat what he made. My sisters offer no support they are all overweight like me, but none have taken the initiative to lose the weight like I have. So I am on my own, but I have enough motivation that I don't care if they like my weight loss or not!! I am doing ME now, once and for all it's just about ME!!!

MARITIMER3 SparkPoints: (214,247)
Fitness Minutes: (121,841)
Posts: 9,453
2/7/13 1:31 P

I know the feeling. I'm really on my own here - DH doesn't get it all... he either asks, "should you be eating that?" when I've very carefully tracked and calculated my food for the day, or he brings food that I shouldn't have; i.e., chocolate, ice cream, chips and salted nuts into the house when it would be much easier for me if they weren't in the fridge/cupboard.

But... he isn't overweight, doesn't have high blood pressure or cholesterol, and quite rightly believes that it's okay for him to eat these foods.

Do it for yourself. With or without help, you can do it! emoticon

HISPIRIT1 Posts: 375
2/7/13 12:55 P

I think some (including my family and friends) find it a threat if I lose weight. It's not that they don't want me to lose weight and get healthy. But if I succeed it is makes them feel as if they have failed. They are just not ready to make the commandant to do it for themselves. I deal with depression sometimes (more than I care to admit) and often feel that no ones care enough about me to help with their support. I feel like I just have to go it alone. emoticon It is hard to keep the motivation cranked up when I am only trying for myself.
Reading what others are struggling with on SparkPeople is what keeps me going. emoticon emoticon

M_MOE87 SparkPoints: (686)
Fitness Minutes: (499)
Posts: 19
2/7/13 12:34 P

Just keep thinking that you are doing this for yourself! Have whatever you want...just in smaller portions. Just keep your goals in mind and stay focused! You wont regret it in the long run :)

DISNEYPARIS SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (33,023)
Posts: 1,189
2/7/13 4:20 A

I know it can be really, really hard when there's little or no support, but it does get easier. First and foremost do it for you. When you resist the temptation of overeating you will be so proud of yourself, not just at the time, but next day too - you'll never regret a time you didn't cheat. Over time you will see results, those around you will too, they may even join you in a healthier lifestyle. Good luck, you can do this. emoticon

LOUISEBLUE SparkPoints: (1,291)
Fitness Minutes: (190)
Posts: 22
2/7/13 3:38 A

Thank you for reading and answering...some great advice that I have taken to heart. I'm now trying to see the positive instead of focusing on feeling 'sabotaged'; taking it as a challenge with myself. It's working!
Whilst the others had roast chicken with lots of olive oil and potatoes, I had a nice salad with tuna and some fruit.
I'll have to work on keeping this way of seeing things, but I'm confident it'll go great. Thank you again! :D

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
2/4/13 6:41 P

Barb that sounds a LOT like my situation!

I have lost weight before, in 2000, and when i started there was zero home support, in fact basically the opposite. I remember announcing "I AM GOING TO START EATING HEALTHY EFFECTIVE NOW" and later that very same day, being asked if I'd be a doll and take a quick run through the late-night Wendy's drive through. "But, I don't want a burger." "Well, just pick up something for me, then?" (I didn't). This was perhaps the most egregious example of flat-out sabotage, but there were others. It took everything I had to stay strong and committed to my goals. I decided the extra effort of making two separate dinners would be worth it "for me" and so i did it with a smile. And after awhile, i started making just "the food I liked" and serving it, saying, hope you like this, if not, there's cheez whiz in the fridge, you could make a sandwich! It took some time but eventually the sabotage stopped and some support came 'round.

I kept that weight off until 2008. Then I went awry and by 2010 was right back where I'd started (grrrrrrrr) so here i am doing it over again.

And guess what. The first day I announced I was going to start back with some healthy eating, we ended up in a little cafe/bakery for allegedly A Cup of Coffee. Oh, and "one apple fritter please." But wait, he doesn't even LIKE apple fritters. It's ME that likes apple fritters... and ohhhh did that one ever look good, just laden down with sugar, crispy-fried goodness.... I did NOT reach over the table and break off a piece. Inside I was a whirlwind mixture of angst and defiance - I could see what was going down, and I was not going to fall for it! Outside, i casually sipped my coffee and watched the Apple Fritter Hater pick away at it. "Do you want some, there's lots here!" "No, thanks, I'm really not hungry for anything sweet right now!" 2/3 of that fritter remained on the plate when we left. And i had passed the test... there has been ZERO further sabotage. In fact, there's been support in the way of "you don't have to cook anything special for me, I can make something extra on my own later if need be." Heck, on Sunday i was even graced with advanced warning "I want a bag of chips and dip for superbowl, is that gonna be ok?" WOW! In 2000, it probably took 4 months to come around to that level of support. This time round, 4 weeks!

Gosh it is difficult sometimes, but it also really does force one to be totally committed to THEMSELVES. Help and support is nice, but, only I can do this for me. And i will.

BARBPL SparkPoints: (9,656)
Fitness Minutes: (8,497)
Posts: 13
2/4/13 5:43 P

It's very frustrating getting no support at home. My husband is still of the "what's for dinner" mindset and healthy options just don't work for him. Seems he expects me to make 2 dinners - one healthy for me and one for him - the exact type of cooking that got me into this predicament. Our only child started college this past fall and I returned to work full time for the first time in 18 years, so this is the perfect time for major changes for ME, but he does not want to support that.
So...needless to say, many nights, he's making his own dinner emoticon

CATSPANK SparkPoints: (8,392)
Fitness Minutes: (1,205)
Posts: 279
2/4/13 5:28 P

Is it stressful to choose nutritionally dense foods while others are eating junk? Is it stressful to push your plate away when you are comfortably full/lightly satisfied while others are just stuffing themselves with too many calories? Its all how you look at things. Its ok to choose fewer calories/nutritionally dense foods while others abuse themselves. Just do what is right for you.

I'm having pepperoni pizza tonight. But I'm settling for one slice with a glass of cabernet wine. My son and husband will eat three pieces each and I will be smug with my 280 calories for one slice.

You have to do what is right for you. Just because other people gorge on fattening things doesn't mean you have to. Go ahead and have a slice of pizza, but just stop with one. Instead of the wine, have a clementine at 80 calories and you will get some much needed vitamin C.

Just because other people overeat doesn't mean you are obligated to. Love your body. Respect your body. You alone control the health and appearance of your body.

LOUISEBLUE SparkPoints: (1,291)
Fitness Minutes: (190)
Posts: 22
2/4/13 4:30 P

Newrunner, that was great turn it into a challenge...change my perspective! I am going to give that a try! Thank you :)

NEWRUNNER2 Posts: 542
2/4/13 2:27 P

It could make it more difficult that your challenge is support at home. Maybe over time you'll be taken more seriously. If not, remember that you are not defined by the way other people treat you. If you're serious about the lifestyle change, then you're serious, regardless of what others think. It's hard, but some people actually are able to turn it into a challenge--as you're proving to yourself how serious you really are, others are bound to see it.

Also, you might need to think about ways to respond if the people around you directly challenge your new choices. If you're just being dismissed, you might respond one way. If you live with people that try to encourage you to ditch your plan, though, you might need to think of ways you can lovingly discourage that. I think I remember reading a SparkPeople article about that once.

Here's just one:

Take care and keep at it!

LOUISEBLUE SparkPoints: (1,291)
Fitness Minutes: (190)
Posts: 22
2/4/13 6:36 A

Thanks for your answers! It's at home...I feel like I'm not taken seriously so it makes it a bit hard...oh well, as someone told me, nothing is permanent; it might change, right? :)

NEWRUNNER2 Posts: 542
2/3/13 7:58 P

I guess it depends on what these particular eating situations are. Is it at work? At home? I think I would handle them differently based on the context.

Also, I agree with DRAGONCHILDE--it's about how you choose to "spend" your calories.

SparkPeople is full of people on a journey to be healthy. Explore the articles and enjoy the ride!


Edited by: NEWRUNNER2 at: 2/3/2013 (20:03)
DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,458)
Fitness Minutes: (15,905)
Posts: 9,717
2/3/13 7:26 P

For starters... what are these things that you "shouldn't" be eating?

I deny myself nothing. If I want it, I can have it! The trick is only eating a small amount, reasonable portions. Over time, I find I crave the healthier stuff because I don't want to waste my calorie "bank" on high-calorie, low nutrition foods that leave me hungry for me.

LOUISEBLUE SparkPoints: (1,291)
Fitness Minutes: (190)
Posts: 22
2/3/13 1:10 P

Hi all!
This might have been posted before...since I'm quite new, I just wanted to say hello and to ask if any of you are struggling to stay healthy when having little to no support...? It's so hard to eat the right stuff, when others are eating things I shouldn't. It's so frustrating and mealtimes are just so incredibly stressful for me.

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